Proxy with Yowei Shaw

We’re sharing an episode of What It’s Like to Be… from New York Times bestselling business book author Dan Heath. On the podcast, Dan explores the world of work, one profession at a time, and interviews people who love what they do. He finds out: How does a stand-up comedian come up with new material? Does a cattle rancher ever get attached to certain calves? What are the clues that suggest fraud to a forensic accountant? If you’ve ever met someone whose work you were curious about, and you had 100 nosy questions but were too polite to ask… this is the show for you. 
In this preview, Dan talks with a funeral director about the strangest request for a viewing she’s ever handled, what it’s like to do hair and makeup for a body, and what the hardest situations are for her to handle. 
You can find more episodes of “What It’s Like to Be…” at https://link.mgln.ai/proxydanheath

Kaitlin Prest is one of the OG art weirdos of podcasting — creator of The Heart, the acclaimed queer feminist show about bodies, gender, power, intimacy, and the mysterious emotional terrain between people.

But these days, Kaitlin is not pitching ambitious projects or chasing the next career milestone. She’s living with her parents in the suburbs of Ontario, making what she calls “a very simple, playful, humble offering.” 

This week, while we work on new Proxy cases for the fall, we’re sharing the first episode of Kaitlin’s new series Suburban Paradise: a strange, tender, sound-rich diary about adulthood, failure, money, art, moving back home, and making a “ta-da list” with your dad. 

From the episode: 
— Listen to The Heart
 — Follow @kaitlinprest on Instagram
— Donate to The Mermaid Palace

The case of the asexual woman who wants romantic partnership with no sex. 
Taelor wants a partner who wants what she wants: closeness, commitment, emotional intimacy, a life together. Just not sex.
But years of dating as an asexual woman has left Taelor wondering if what she wants is too specific to find. Does she keep trying? And if love without sex isn’t possible for her, how does she cope? How do you grieve a life you still want but aren’t sure you’ll get?
In this episode, we find Taelor a proxy: an asexual woman who's been married for 12 years without having to compromise on sex. Together, they talk about boundaries, loneliness, and how to keep fighting for the love you want when the world keeps telling you your version of it doesn't count. 

From the episode:
— The Ace Couple podcast that Courtney hosts with her partner Royce
— Courtney Lane's work as a Victorian hair artist and historian

New to Proxy? Try Bisexual Wife Guy for a classic case, or Alex's Husband Is Too Straight, another episode about wrestling with attraction and longterm romance outside the usual script.

For episode liner notes, show gossip, and dispatches from the emotions beat, get our free newsletter File Under Feelings at proxyhq.org.
Proxy is an independent show, supported mostly by listeners. Paid members get bonus episodes, ad-free listening, live Proxy hangs, and the satisfaction of keeping emotional investigative journalism alive 🍏
Follow us on Instagram — @proxypodcast @yoweishaw
Visit — proxypodcast.com
Get in touch — proxythepod@gmail.com

The case of the progressive rich guy who doesn’t know what to do with his money.
Sam grew up middle class, built a company, sold it, and suddenly found himself with more money than he ever expected.
But instead of feeling free, Sam feels stuck. He doesn’t want to become the kind of rich person he used to judge. He doesn’t want money to change his relationships. He doesn’t want to hoard it. He doesn’t even want to talk about it.
In this episode, we find Sam a proxy: David Steely, a former millionaire who has since given most of his money away. Together, they talk about secrecy, guilt, redistribution, enoughness, and the morally complicated question: what are you supposed to do when you have more than you need?

From the episode:
— Resource Generation — an organization for young people with wealth and class privilege working toward wealth redistribution
— Showing Up for Racial Justice (SURJ) — a group that organizes white people for racial and economic justice

New to Proxy? Try Bisexual Wife Guy for a classic case, or Mic Chooses the Wrong Life, a story about regret, comparison, and the fantasy of the unlived life.

For episode liner notes, show gossip, and dispatches from the emotions beat, get our free newsletter File Under Feelings at proxyhq.org.
Proxy is an independent show, supported mostly by listeners. Paid members get bonus episodes, ad-free listening, live Proxy hangs, and the satisfaction of keeping emotional investigative journalism alive 🍏
Follow us on Instagram — @proxypodcast @yoweishaw
Visit — proxypodcast.com
Get in touch — proxythepod@gmail.com

The case of the person who worries their husband still sees them as his wife. 
Alex is nonbinary, and their husband Henry is a straight cis man. Henry has been supportive through every step of Alex’s transition — pronouns, testosterone, top surgery — but Alex worries: if Henry is straight, does that mean he still sees Alex as a woman?
In this episode, we find Alex two proxies: Elvis, a trans man who transitioned inside his long-term relationship, and Ryan, Elvis’s straight cis husband. Together, they talk about labels, desire, dysphoric sex, and the tender, terrifying question underneath it all: will you still want me if I change?

New to Proxy? Try Bisexual Wife Guy for another story about identity changing inside a relationship, or Yowei Can't Speak Bro, about the emotional rules of people who say “that’s cool."

For episode liner notes, show gossip, and dispatches from the emotions beat, get our free newsletter File Under Feelings at proxyhq.org.
Proxy is an independent show, supported mostly by listeners. Paid members get bonus episodes, ad-free listening, live Proxy hangs, and the satisfaction of keeping emotional investigative journalism alive 🍏
Follow us on Instagram — @proxypodcast @yoweishaw
Visit — proxypodcast.com
Get in touch — proxythepod@gmail.com