We Hate Movies

“He is such a dirty slut in this movie!” - Eric on Dave Franco’s character
On this week’s episode, our month of episodes featuring convos about movies we watched in 2025 concludes with a total banger chat about the romantic drama, Regretting You! Are these the horniest bereaved characters in a major studio production? If your hometown has a local rodeo, does the town charter stipulate you have to get married immediately out of high school? Does Dave Franco really look “mysterious” wearing glasses or is this character just a serial killer? Does Scott Eastwood play a believable party animal? How much money did AMC Theatres have invested in this thing? And we all need to do better by Clancy Brown! PLUS: The Great Pop-Tart Rant of 2026!
Regretting You stars Allison Williams, Mckenna Grace, Dave Franco, Mason Thames, Willa Fitzgerald, Scott Eastwood, Sam Morelos, Ethan Costanilla, and Clancy Brown as Gramps; directed by Josh Boone.
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Grab your tickets now for the first leg of the 2026 tour! We’ll be in Los Angeles on 2/22, Minneapolis on 3/20 and Chicago on 3/22—don’t wait, snag those tix now!
Original cover art by Felipe Sobreiro.

“It’s all melted together into one chocolate bar of horrible…” - Chris on the Jurassic World sequels
On this week’s episode, the gang’s heading down to the equator to take a dangerous boat ride with Scarlett Johansson and Mahershala Ali in the latest dino-centric sequel, Jurassic World: Rebirth! Is this the most half-baked movie of last year? Why couldn’t ScarJo be a grown up version of Clone Girl from Fallen Kingdom? Why are we so obsessed with referencing the first movie? Why is the story engine just a lame video game plot? Did they have any idea what to do with this mutated dinosaur idea? And were they kidding with that Snickers product placement? PLUS: The Skeleton League touches down on the island to collect Dino-skeletons. 
Jurassic World: Rebirth stars Scarlett Johansson, Mahershala Ali, Jonathan Bailey, Manuel Garcia-Rulfo, Luna Blaise, David Iacono, Audrina Miranda, Philippine Velge, Bechir Sylvain, Ed Skrein, and Rupert Friend as Martin Krebs; directed by Gareth Edwards.
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Grab your tickets now for the first leg of the 2026 tour! We’ll be in Los Angeles on 2/22, Minneapolis on 3/20 and Chicago on 3/22—don’t wait, snag those tix now!
Original cover art by Felipe Sobreiro.

This is an extended preview for our We ❤️ Movies episode on OBAA. To access the full show, click through here to sign up for our Patreon!

“I’ve seen this six times…” - Andrew 
On this month’s We ❤️ Movies episode, we’re chatting about Paul Thomas Anderson’s latest cinematic achievement, One Battle After Another! How absolutely fantastic is Teyana Taylor in this movie? Can we confirm that audiences love it when Leo plays low-status guys? What a year for the legendary Jim Downey, huh? Has there been a better Steely Dan needle drop? And could Sean Penn take his fake nose from this movie and use it to star in a Jimmy Durante biopic? PLUS: Coming next summer, Paul Thomas Anderson’s American Pie featuring the Seann William Scott as Steve Lockjaw! 
One Battle After Another stars Teyana Taylor, Chase Infinity, Leonardo DiCaprio, Regina Hall, Wood Harris, Alana Haim, Shayna McHayle, Paul Grimstad, Dijon Duenas, Brooklyn Demme, Sean Penn, Eric Schweig, Tony Goldwyn, James Downey, John Hoogenakker, Kevin Tighe, James Raterman, April Grace, and Benicio Del Toro as Sensei Sergio St. Carlos; directed by Paul Thomas Anderson.
Grab your tickets now for the first leg of the 2026 tour! We’ll be in Los Angeles on 2/22, Minneapolis on 3/20 and Chicago on 3/22—don’t wait, snag those tix now!
Original cover art by Felipe Sobreiro.

“I love the music though…” - Eric
On this week’s episode, we’re chatting about the sequel nobody had a hankering for, Tron: Ares! Why do we keep giving Jared Leto chances? Couldn’t they have gone a few more rounds with that script? Why on Earth did we need that ghostly cameo? Is it worth watching these movies sober? Can an amazing soundtrack carry a film all on its own? And how do you not get Bruce Boxleitner a check for this somehow? PLUS: Josh Gad playing the Grid’s seedy porn program guy? Why not?  
Tron: Ares stars Jared Leto, Greta Lee, Evan Peters, Jodie Turner-Smith, Gillian Anderson, Hasan Minhaj, Arturo Castro, Cameron Monaghan, Sarah Desjardins, and Jeff Bridges as Ghost Flynn or something; directed by Joachim Rønning.
Grab your tickets now for the first leg of the 2026 tour! We’ll be in Los Angeles on 2/22, Minneapolis on 3/20 and Chicago on 3/22—don’t wait, snag those tix now!
Original cover art by Felipe Sobreiro.

“These movies are not made for audiences.” - Steve, on DTS titles like this

On our first episode of 2026 we’re chatting about the direct-to-streaming, holiday-set sequel, The Family Plan 2! Why can’t Wahlberg be icing dudes in this movie? Beyond that great Michael Bay doc that hasn’t come out yet, are we still doing parkour in movies? Should Mark just start doing PVOD Secret Movies? How much of a boost does the on-location shooting give you? Does Kit Harington’s character have an actual plan beyond the vague “power” dream? Why are we cramming Christmas into this film? And doesn’t Michelle Monaghan deserve better than this? PLUS: The Transformers get down with some parkour too!

The Family Plan 2 stars Mark Wahlberg, Michelle Monaghan, Zoe Colletti, Van Crosby, Reda Elazouar, Sidse Babett Knudsen, Sanjeev Baskar, and Kit Harington as Finn Clarke; directed by Simon Cellan Jones.

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Grab your tickets now for the first leg of the 2026 tour! We’ll be in Los Angeles on 2/22, Minneapolis on 3/20 and Chicago on 3/22—don’t wait, snag those tix now!

Original cover art by Felipe Sobreiro.