How To Fail With Elizabeth Day

Emilia Clarke is the Emmy‑nominated actor who became a global cultural icon as Daenerys Targaryen in Game of Thrones, a role that catapulted her from fresh drama‑school graduate to one of the most recognisable faces on the planet. Since then she’s starred in everything from Me Before You to Solo: A Star Wars Story, won acclaim on the West End and now leads Ponies, a Cold War spy thriller she also produces.

In this episode, we talk about her childhood love of acting, the imposter syndrome that followed early fame, her failure to master mathematics, the terror and denial surrounding her aneurysms, the shattering grief of losing her Dad, the joy of female friendships and…yes, ok…Game Of Thrones.

✨ IN THIS EPISODE:

00:00 Cheating Death Opener

00:14 Emilia Clarke Intro

02:54 Ponies And Friendship

03:39 Learning Russian Lines

06:45 Why Acting Means Failure

08:33 Failing At Maths

11:44 Early Acting Spark

14:10 Losing Her Dad

21:09 Failure At Recovery

24:30 Aneurysm In The Gym

27:10 Misdiagnosed Stroke Scare

28:01 Second Aneurysm

29:25 Surgery Goes Wrong

31:37 Relearning and Emotional Shutdown

33:30 Back to Work Too Soon

35:43 Recovery Without Grace

37:40 Healing and New Diagnoses

40:12 Bad at Celebrity

43:01 Game of Thrones Aftermath

46:08 Body Image and Press

48:11 Brows and Beauty Culture

50:40 Self Knowledge and Closing

💬 QUOTES TO REMEMBER:

You spend your 20s and 30s trying to be somebody else, and then your 40s are the moment when you go back to who you actually are.

I was blessed that after each of my brain injuries, in my mind, there was no other option but to carry on.

The only good thing about having someone that you love pass away is that every good thing that ever happens, you know it's them.

🔗 LINKS + MENTIONS:

All episodes of PONIES will be available on Sky and steaming service NOW in the UK & Ireland from 22 May

Join the How To Fail community: www.howtofail.supportingcast.fm/#content

Elizabeth’s Substack: www.theelizabethday.substack.com

📚 WANT MORE?

Kate Winslet – the Oscar‑winning actor on reinvention, self‑doubt and the power of starting again at any age: swap.fm/l/qrRLW000eyVDrBz3ZtbI

Gillian Anderson – the Emmy- and Golden Globe-winning icon on fame, burnout, womanhood and refusing to shrink herself for anyone: swap.fm/l/7NyZMzkfVOpGyDtlB6k0

💌 LOVE THIS EPISODE?

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👋 Follow How To Fail & Elizabeth:

Instagram: @elizabday

TikTok: @howtofailpod

Podcast Instagram: @howtofailpod

Website: www.elizabethday.org

Guest bookings for How To Fail only come from official @sonymusic.com emails

Elizabeth answers listener questions in our subscriber series, Failing with Friends. Join our community of subscribers here: www.howtofail.supportingcast.fm/#content

Have a failure you’re trying to work through for Elizabeth to discuss? Click here to get in touch: howtofailpod.com

Production & Post Production Coordinator: Eric Ryan

Engineer: Matias Torres

Assistant Producer: Shania Manderson

Senior Producer: Hannah Talbot

Executive Producer: Alex Lawless

How to Fail is an Elizabeth Day and Sony Music Entertainment Production.

Find more great podcasts from Sony Music Entertainment at sonymusic.com/podcasts

To bring your brand to life in this podcast, email [email protected]

_________________________________________________________________________

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Aline Brosh McKenna is the brilliant writer behind some of the most iconic films and TV of our time: The Devil Wears Prada, 27 Dresses, Morning Glory and Crazy Ex-Girlfriend. Now, she’s back with The Devil Wears Prada 2.

Before Hollywood, Aline studied literature at Harvard and worked as a freelance magazine writer in New York. She was 38 when everything changed with the release of The Devil Wears Prada - and she’s been creating sharp, funny, deeply relatable stories ever since.

In this episode, we talk about writing for Meryl Streep (no biggie) the acting and magazine career that never happened and what life as an award-winning screenwriter *really* looks like. Plus: the motivating advice every single woman needs to hear.

✨ IN THIS EPISODE:

00:00 Introduction

03:15 27 Dresses and People Pleasing

04:24 Learning Not to Smallify

07:09 Writing Bold Characters

08:11 Devil Wears Prada Two Return

12:35 ‘Failed’ Acting Dreams

17:31 Working With Great Actors

23:20 Writing Meryl’s Big Speech

25:35 Scrappy Creativity Mindset

26:34 ‘Failed’ Magazine Career

29:00 Screenwriting Doors Open

32:07 Comedy Cred And Awards

35:23 Nine Pilots No Series

41:57 Ask For What You Want

💬 QUOTES TO REMEMBER:

I wasn't taught to “smallify” myself by my mother, and that's maybe one of her greatest gifts.

If it becomes necessary to apologise to get what you want, I think that’s okay. As long as you're aware that you're doing it... as a tactic or a strategy.

Learning to withstand and be amused by failure is so key and so critical.

🔗 LINKS + MENTIONS:

Devil Wears Prada 2 is in cinemas now!

Join the How To Fail community: www.howtofail.supportingcast.fm/#content

Elizabeth’s Substack: www.theelizabethday.substack.com

📚 WANT MORE?

Stanley Tucci - A DWP cast member no less! The iconic Nigel…sorry, Stanley came on HTF and talked about dealing with the loss of his late wife, surviving cancer, finding love again and…failing to swim: swap.fm/l/WCW054IGNZnSnTzEXPTN

Dawn French - Another genius comedy writer who talks about heartbreak, humour, adoption and meeting Jennifer Saunders: swap.fm/l/NJDrzxLKhyi6icOrxmHT

💌 LOVE THIS EPISODE?

Subscribe on Spotify, Apple or wherever you get your podcasts

Leave a 5⭐ review – it helps more people discover these stories

👋 Follow How To Fail & Elizabeth:

Instagram: @elizabday

TikTok: @howtofailpod

Podcast Instagram: @howtofailpod

Website: www.elizabethday.org

Guest bookings for How To Fail only come from official @sonymusic.com emails

Elizabeth and Aline answer listener questions in our subscriber series, Failing with Friends. Join our community of subscribers here: www.howtofail.supportingcast.fm/#content

Have a failure you’re trying to work through for Elizabeth to discuss? Click here to get in touch: howtofailpod.com

Production & Post Production Coordinator: Eric Ryan

Engineer: Matias Torres

Assistant Producer: Shania Manderson

Senior Producer: Hannah Talbot

Executive Producer: Alex Lawless

How to Fail is an Elizabeth Day and Sony Music Entertainment Production.

Find more great podcasts from Sony Music Entertainment at sonymusic.com/podcasts

To bring your brand to life in this podcast, email [email protected]

_________________________________________________________________________

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Richard Gadd is the creative talent behind Baby Reindeer - the Netflix show which won six Primetime Emmys, two Golden Globes and garnered 84.5 million views within its first 45 days.

Gadd began in stand-up, and by 2016 he’d won a Perrier Award at the Edinburgh Fringe. His work became known for its compulsive storytelling, blending dark comedy with a kind of philosophical kink for asking audiences the most uncomfortable questions.

Now Gadd returns with Half Man, a six-part drama co-production between HBO and the BBC, which Gadd created, wrote, executive produced and stars in.

In this episode we talk through his childhood, how it felt to be abruptly catapulted into being the most googled man on the planet following the release of Baby Reindeer and the complexity of identity and sexuality.

✨ IN THIS EPISODE:

03:13 Fame and Self Worth

05:37 Writing Dark Truths

06:52 Baby Reindeer Explosion

08:00 Becoming Ruben

09:40 Half Man Meaning

10:57 Workaholism Origins

23:58 Family Support After Trauma

24:30 Comedy Meets Abuse Healing

26:13 Rebuking Shame

27:51 Fame And Re Triggering

29:12 Stubbornness And Casting Martha

33:03 Sexuality Beyond Labels

36:15 Grudges Empathy Forgiveness

40:13 Athlete Failure And Closing

💬 QUOTES TO REMEMBER:

I never wanted fame. I just liked the idea that one day I would make a piece of art that was culturally important because then maybe I would learn to like myself.

It doesn't matter your intelligence, where you come from, your upbringing, anything… it’s about the hours you put into it. Hard work trumps everything.

I think actually that we have but scratched the surface of sexuality in a way... there are so many complications to it.

🔗 LINKS + MENTIONS:

You can watch Half Man on BBC iPlayer every week

Join the How To Fail community: www.howtofail.supportingcast.fm/#content

Elizabeth’s Substack: www.theelizabethday.substack.com

📚 WANT MORE?

Stephen Merchant - the actor, writer and director on turning 50, failure in stand-up and what he learned from Ricky Gervais when he co-wrote The Office: swap.fm/l/Lta5mlFbVnPHyFb8R1n2

Phoebe Waller-Bridge - the creator of Fleabag talks about ambition, doubt and creating bold work: swap.fm/l/gTCOCJUmXX9t22mTABSa

💌 LOVE THIS EPISODE?

Subscribe on Spotify, Apple or wherever you get your podcasts

Leave a 5⭐ review – it helps more people discover these stories

👋 Follow How To Fail & Elizabeth:

Instagram: @elizabday

TikTok: @howtofailpod

Podcast Instagram: @howtofailpod

Website: www.elizabethday.org

Guest bookings for How To Fail only come from official @sonymusic.com emails

Elizabeth and Richard answer listener questions in our subscriber series, Failing with Friends. Join our community of subscribers here: www.howtofail.supportingcast.fm/#content

Have a failure you’re trying to work through for Elizabeth to discuss? Click here to get in touch: howtofailpod.com

Production & Post Production Coordinator: Eric Ryan

Engineer: Matias Torres

Assistant Producer: Shania Manderson

Senior Producer: Hannah Talbot

Executive Producer: Alex Lawless

How to Fail is an Elizabeth Day and Sony Music Entertainment Production.

Find more great podcasts from Sony Music Entertainment at sonymusic.com/podcasts

To bring your brand to life in this podcast, email [email protected]

_________________________________________________________________________

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

The acclaimed actor, singer and producer was born in Los Angeles to a Greek mother and a Bulgarian father who emigrated to the United States in 1949.

You might know her from early roles like Bosom Buddies, where she met her future husband Tom Hanks, and from standout turns in films including Runaway Bride, It's Complicated and her unforgettable scene-stealing in Sleepless in Seattle.

Behind the camera, she helped bring My Big Fat Greek Wedding and Mamma Mia! to the big screen.

Alongside her film career, Wilson has built a powerful musical voice, releasing albums since 2012 and collaborating with artists like Elvis Costello and Willie Nelson. She now returns to her solo work with her sixth album, Sound Of A Woman, released on 1st May.

In this episode, we talk about growing up in a traditional, private family but later living in the public eye, bringing My Big Fat Greek Wedding to the screen, her friendships with Nora Ephron and Bruce Springsteen - and how her experience of breast cancer reshaped her life and friendships.

✨ IN THIS EPISODE:

02:39 Sleepless In Seattle Scene Secrets

04:32 Finding Her Voice

07:53 Labels and Late Blooming

13:07 Privacy to Speaking Out

14:56 Greek Wedding Breakthrough

17:43 Drama School Rejections

27:57 Proving Them Wrong

29:03 Onscreen Friendship Magic

31:03 What Friendship Means

32:12 Breast Cancer and Blame

35:07 Honoring Her Father

39:55 Family Secrets and Privacy

45:50 Building Family Values

47:20 Fired as Ticket Taker

💬 QUOTES TO REMEMBER:

I’ve come to a stage in my life where I’m only now just finding my voice, both metaphorically and literally.

We spend so much of our lives shedding those identities that don't work for us anymore until we get to a place where I am now, which is literally the most unfiltered place you can be when you get to a certain age where you just don’t care what anybody thinks and you can tell the truth more fully.

🔗 LINKS + MENTIONS:

Sound Of A Woman is out on 1st May

Join the How To Fail community: www.howtofail.supportingcast.fm/#content

Elizabeth’s Substack: www.theelizabethday.substack.com

📚 WANT MORE?

Ruth Wilson – on refusing Botox, being rejected from Oxford and living with her father’s Alzheimer's: swap.fm/l/ZbkfbAmZFOX0zB2u1iiC

Melanie Chisholm – the former Spice girl on mental health, identity and navigating fame: swap.fm/l/OAU4TwoXfjVLvCdrcSYY

Gloria Steinem – my personal hero: on activism, ageing and redefining success: swap.fm/l/WbcOneXzQpdLfYriAQXE

💌 LOVE THIS EPISODE?

Subscribe on Spotify, Apple or wherever you get your podcasts

Leave a 5⭐ review – it helps more people discover these stories

👋 Follow How To Fail & Elizabeth:

Instagram: @elizabday

TikTok: @howtofailpod

Podcast Instagram: @howtofailpod

Website: www.elizabethday.org

Guest bookings for How To Fail only come from official @sonymusic.com emails

Elizabeth and Rita answer listener questions in our subscriber series, Failing with Friends. Join our community of subscribers here: www.howtofail.supportingcast.fm/#content

Have a failure you’re trying to work through for Elizabeth to discuss? Click here to get in touch: howtofailpod.com

Production & Post Production Coordinator: Eric Ryan

Engineer: Matias Torres

Assistant Producer: Shania Manderson

Senior Producer: Hannah Talbot

Executive Producer: Alex Lawless

How to Fail is an Elizabeth Day and Sony Music Entertainment Production.

Find more great podcasts from Sony Music Entertainment at sonymusic.com/podcasts

To bring your brand to life in this podcast, email [email protected]

_________________________________________________________________________

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Today’s guest is a female billionaire: the co-founder and CEO of the Good American inclusive fashion brand and a founding partner of SKIMS, the shapewear and loungewear company. Emma Grede’s close working partnerships with the Kardashian family have led her to become an advocate for empowering women through business.

Now, she’s publishing her first book, Start With Yourself, in which she explores everything from building personal resilience to developing self-forgiveness.

In this episode we discuss her East London mindset, her famously controversial (!) attitude towards work-life balance, being a mother of four (her twins were born via a surrogate) and her experience of miscarriage. Female ambition, fertility, the discomfort of hard work…I’m so grateful to Emma for opening up on subjects that are so often shrouded in silence.

✨ IN THIS EPISODE:

03:02 Ambition Loves Discomfort

05:57 Growing Up East London

07:31 ‘Too Ambitious’

08:34 East London Business Code

11:15 An Employee Mindset

19:13 Work-Life Balance Myth

26:34 Fearless Hustle Mindset

27:53 ITB Rise and Influencers

29:08 LA Office Ego Crash

31:40 Parenting as a Team

32:56 Fertility Reality Check

38:19 Good American Expansion Misstep

46:25 Mother’s Influence

💬 QUOTES TO REMEMBER:

I have always thought about ambition as something that I am entitled to as long as I work for it.

If you want to be extraordinarily successful… Then extraordinary work is required.

You become confident because you know you can get through things and you know what's on the other side of failure.

🔗 LINKS + MENTIONS:

Emma’s debut book ‘Start With Yourself’ - is available to buy now

The Testaments, a new Hulu original series, streaming exclusively on Disney+

Join the How To Fail community: www.howtofail.supportingcast.fm/#content

Elizabeth’s Substack: www.theelizabethday.substack.com

📚 WANT MORE?

Melinda French Gates - another extraordinarily successful female philanthropist, who co-chaired the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation, the world's largest private charitable organization, for 24 years: swap.fm/l/Zr3OTH30YZpvPRiXIkeX

Mo Gawdat - an incredible guest who has been on How to Fail FOUR times - most recently in December last year to talk about the most common mistakes we make in love: swap.fm/l/Daw9T2DZbicGt0aOZZVX

💌 LOVE THIS EPISODE?

Subscribe on Spotify, Apple or wherever you get your podcasts

Leave a 5⭐ review – it helps more people discover these stories

👋 Follow How To Fail & Elizabeth:

Instagram: @elizabday

TikTok: @howtofailpod

Podcast Instagram: @howtofailpod

Website: www.elizabethday.org

Elizabeth and Emma answer listener questions in our subscriber series, Failing with Friends. Join our community of subscribers here: www.howtofail.supportingcast.fm/#content

Have a failure you’re trying to work through for Elizabeth to discuss? Click here to get in touch: howtofailpod.com

Production & Post Production Coordinator: Eric Ryan

Engineer: Matias Torres

Assistant Producer: Shania Manderson

Senior Producer: Hannah Talbot

Executive Producer: Alex Lawless

How to Fail is an Elizabeth Day and Sony Music Entertainment Production.

Find more great podcasts from Sony Music Entertainment at sonymusic.com/podcasts

To bring your brand to life in this podcast, email [email protected]

_________________________________________________________________________

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices