“I Was Told I Couldn’t Have Kids” — Infertility, Miscarriage, and the Fight to Feel Safe Again
MJ shares her raw and powerful story of being told she would likely never be able to have children—and the emotional, spiritual, and physical healing journey that followed. After a heartbreaking miscarriage and years without a menstrual cycle, MJ began the work of reconnecting with her body, her nervous system, and her grief. In this conversation, we explore the pain of medical dismissal, the surprising discovery that changed everything, and the deep healing work that eventually brought her to her two living children.
We talk about:
Growing up without regular periods and being told pregnancy might never be possible
The trauma and heartbreak of miscarriage after a miracle conception
Being gaslit by doctors—and trusting her intuition anyway
The white-knuckling anxiety of pregnancy after loss
Postpartum OCD and navigating intrusive thoughts
How somatic healing, breathwork, and nervous system regulation changed everything
Why creating safety in her body—and her life—was key to welcoming new life
Her passion for helping others cry, heal, and reconnect with their emotional bodies
This episode is a beautiful reminder that grief and joy can live side by side—and that healing is possible when we honour all that we’ve been through.
🕊️ This one is for MJ’s first baby, never forgotten.
Get to Know MJ:
MJ Renshaw is a breathwork facilitator, podcast host, author, and founder of The Being Method, a science-backed spiritual education platform that teaches students to heal and reconnect with their bodies through breathwork. After her own journey overcoming childhood trauma, MJ launched The Being Method in 2020, quickly establishing it as uniquely comprehensive, blending breathwork science, trauma-informed care, and practical business training. Her podcast, also ‘The Being Method,’ explores the intersection between science and spirituality. Her new book, How to Cry, a #1 New Release in Emotional Mental Health, explores the powerful science behind the emotional release of crying.
Connect with MJ:
Instagram: @beingmethodbreathwork
Get one month free of breathwork with The Being Method here: https://shorturl.at/7HFHv
Website: https://www.beingmethod.ca/
How to Cry: www.howtocry.ca
Connect with Kristin:
📍 Website: thedoulalife.ca
🌈 The Haven - Pregnancy After Loss Support: thedoulalife.ca/the-haven — use code RAINBOW to save $100
🤍 Mother Like No Other Community: www.thedoulalife.ca/community
📸 Instagram: @the.doula.life
If you enjoyed this episode of The Rainbow Connection, please consider subscribing, rating, and leaving a review. Your support helps get these powerful stories into the hands—and hearts—of those who need them most.
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“She Deserved to Stay” – A Story of Loss, Love, and Finding Safety Again
Jasmine shares the heartbreaking story of her daughter Braelynn, who was stillborn at 40 weeks due to a tightly wrapped nuchal cord—a tragedy that could have been prevented. In this vulnerable and powerful episode, Jasmine walks us through her full-term loss, the moments in the hospital that still haunt her, and the journey through postpartum grief, anger, and deep questioning. She also shares the tender and fearful path to her rainbow baby, Archer, and what it took to feel safe enough to give birth again.
We talk about:
What it’s like to be dismissed by medical professionals while advocating for your baby
The trauma of leaving the hospital with a box instead of her baby
The role of grief counselling and community in her healing
Creating boundaries after loss to protect her space and heart
The emotional complexity of pregnancy after loss
The beauty of choosing a birth team you trust
The empowering birth of her rainbow baby, Archer
How she keeps Braylon present in their lives every day
This episode is a fierce, emotional reminder that mothers know, that advocacy matters, and that healing is possible—even when the pain never fully leaves.
🕊️ Braelynn, this one is for you.
Get to Know Jasmine:
Jasmine lives in Sudbury, Ontario with her husband, their son Archer, and their 12-year-old German Shepherd, Radar—her first and forever furry best friend. She originally studied nursing, but after everything she’s walked through, she’s not sure if returning to the field is part of her future—and she’s learning that sometimes dreams change, and that’s okay. These days, Jasmine is navigating new motherhood while trying to carve out time for connection—with her family, her friends, and herself. You’ll often find her on the dock or curled up on the deck with a good book during quiet moments.
Connect with Jasmine:
Instagram: @jas_kappes
Connect with Kristin:
📍 Website: thedoulalife.ca
🌈 The Haven - Pregnancy After Loss Support Program: thedoulalife.ca/the-haven — use promo code: RAINBOW to save $100
🤍 Mother Like No Other Community: www.thedoulalife.ca/community
📸 Instagram: @the.doula.life
If you enjoyed this episode of the podcast, please don’t forget to subscribe, rate and review– this helps get the show and resources mentioned into the hands of the women that need them! And please share it with someone who could use this kind of support. Your support means so much.
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“Somehow, We Lived” — A Story of Life Support, Letting Go, and the Baby Who Taught Them Everything
Brianna shares the sacred and heart breaking story of her daughter Caroline, born with a complex heart condition and an incredibly rare genetic diagnosis. In this tender, raw, and deeply moving episode, Bri walks us through her high-risk pregnancy, the decisions that no parent should have to make, and the immeasurable love that carried her through it all. She also shares the beautiful way she now honours Caroline’s memory— through her nonprofit, Caroline Cares— and opens up about pregnancy after loss and what it’s been like to carry her rainbow baby boy.
We talk about:
Receiving a fetal heart diagnosis at 29 weeks
Relocating for high-risk care at Stanford
Balancing hope and fear while fighting for her daughter’s life
Caroline’s birth and time in the NICU on ECMO
An emotional mix-up that changed everything
Making the heartbreaking choice to remove life support
Holding Caroline for the first—and last—time
How grief shaped her purpose and how Caroline Cares was born
The complicated journey of pregnancy after loss
This episode is a powerful reminder that grief and love are never separate— and that even in the most devastating loss, mothering never ends.
🕊 Caroline, this one is for you.
Get to Know Brianna:
Hi, I’m Bri. My husband and I are parents to our beautiful daughter, Caroline, who passed away at 27 days old in 2023 due to a rare congenital heart condition called Ebstein’s Anomaly. We miss her deeply every single day and continue to honour her life through Caroline Cares, a charity we founded to support other NICU families by delivering care bags to local hospitals.
In 2024, we experienced an ectopic pregnancy — a heartbreaking loss that came just as we were beginning to hope again. After walking through so much grief, we are now joyfully expecting our rainbow baby this August.
Caroline made me a mother. Her story changed everything. And now, I carry her legacy forward—through advocacy, through love, and through every family Caroline Cares is able to reach.
Connect with Brianna:
Instagram: @briannahansen
Support Caroline Cares: www.carolinecares.us
Connect with Kristin:
📍 Website: thedoulalife.ca
🌈 The Haven - Pregnancy After Loss Support Program: thedoulalife.ca/the-haven — use promo code: RAINBOW to save $100
🕊 RECLAIM — The PAL Birth Course: thedoulalife.ca/reclaim — use promo code: RECLAIM to save $100
🤍 Mother Like No Other Community: www.thedoulalife.ca/community
📸 Instagram: @the.doula.life
If you enjoyed this episode of the podcast, please don’t forget to subscribe, rate and review– this helps get the show and resources mentioned into the hands of the women that need them! And please share it with someone who could use this kind of support. Your support means so much.
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“Nothing About This Was Easy”: A Story of Stillbirth, NICU Survival, and the Baby Who Changed Everything
Jessalyn shares the deeply personal and emotional story of her angel baby Camila, who was stillborn at 20 weeks, and the high-risk, complicated journey to welcoming her rainbow baby, Colby. In this moving episode, Jessalyn walks us through the shock of pregnancy loss after an uncomplicated first birth, the heartbreaking misidentification of her baby’s gender, and the complex layers of grief that followed. She also opens up about the fear, anxiety, and resilience it took to navigate a subsequent pregnancy filled with complications, including PPROM, hospital bedrest, and a NICU stay.
We talk about:
Experiencing a missed miscarriage after her first healthy pregnancy
Losing her daughter Camila at 20 weeks and discovering her true gender days later
The emotional and physical toll of an induction after loss
The complicated decision to try again while deep in grief
Navigating pregnancy after loss with high-risk care
A ruptured membrane at 26 weeks and hospital bedrest far from home
Bringing her son Colby home after a premature birth and three weeks in the NICU
The ongoing balance of grief, healing, and joy in parenting both her living and angel children
This episode is a tender, honest reminder of the strength it takes to survive life after loss and how joy and sorrow can exist side by side. Jessalyn’s story is proof that even through the most devastating chapters, we can find our way through.
🕊️ Camila, this one is for you.
Get to Know Jessalyn:
Jessalyn is a 35-year-old mom of three — an angel baby and two living children — living in Clarington, Ontario with her husband Carlos and their rescue dog, José. She grew up in Port Perry and still holds a special love for her hometown, with hopes of moving back one day. Jessalyn and Carlos have known each other since their early teens and have been together since their late teens, with a few years apart along the way. She works in Toronto and commutes a couple of days a week, balancing family life, work, and the ongoing journey of mothering all of her children.
Connect with Kristin:
📍 Website: thedoulalife.ca
🌈 The Haven — Pregnancy After Loss Support Program: thedoulalife.ca/the-haven — use promo code RAINBOW to save $100 on enrollment
🕊️ RECLAIM — The PAL Birth Course: thedoulalife.ca/reclaim — use promo code RECLAIM to save $100
📸 Instagram: @the.doula.life
If you enjoyed this episode of the podcast, please don’t forget to subscribe, rate and review– this helps get the show and resources mentioned into the hands of the women that need them! And please share it with someone who could use this kind of support. Your support means so much.
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“We Did It”: From the Stillbirth of Her Son at 39 Weeks to Welcoming a Rainbow Baby — Courtney’s Birth Story
In this raw and redemptive episode, Courtney shares the story of her son Beau, who was stillborn at 39 weeks, and her rainbow baby Daisy, born almost exactly one year later — in the very same hospital room.
She takes us through the shocking moment she heard “there’s no heartbeat,” the sacred experience of birthing and holding her son, and the decision to return to that same space to bring Daisy into the world — surrounded by love, memory, and the presence of her firstborn son.
We talk about:
The unexpected loss of her son Beau at full term
The out-of-body experience of being told there was no heartbeat
Choosing to birth Beau unmedicated, and the power in that decision
Parenting her two younger daughters through grief and sibling loss
Navigating pregnancy after loss and the decision to be induced
Returning to the same birth room — and how that became an act of reclamation
Welcoming Daisy and honouring Beau in every step
Courtney’s story is honest, heartbreaking, and full of the fierce love only a mother could give. It’s a testament to what it means to walk through unimaginable loss — and to find healing in the most unexpected places.
🕊️ Beau, this one is for you.
Get to Know Courtney:
Courtney is a mother of 3 daughters, Taylor, Briar and Daisy, and 1 angel baby boy, Beau, who lives in Collingwood, Ontario. Right now she is on maternity leave with her rainbow baby, but when she is in the working world, she works as an Educational Assistant with the School Board. Courtney enjoys baking sourdough (when she remembers to feed her dying starter), going for hikes, creating new embroidery art and spending time working in the garden planted for Beau.
Connect with Courtney:
Instagram: @courthodgson
Connect with Kristin
📍 Website: thedoulalife.ca
🌈 The Haven - Pregnancy After Loss Support Program: thedoulalife.ca/the-haven -- use promo code: RAINBOW to save $100 on enrollment
🕊 RECLAIM -- The PAL Birth Course: thedoulalife.ca/reclaim -- use promo code: RECLAIM to save $100
📸 Instagram: @the.doula.life
If you enjoyed this episode of the podcast, please don’t forget to subscribe, rate and review– this helps get the show and resources mentioned into the hands of the women that need them! And please share it with someone who could use this kind of support. Your support means so much.
THE RAINBOW CONNECTION is a podcast for mothers navigating the sacred, often silent path of pregnancy after loss. Each episode holds space for real, vulnerable birth stories—from women who have experienced miscarriage, stillbirth, TFMR, or infant loss. Some are holding their rainbow babies now. Some are pregnant again, and others are still trying to conceive after loss. All are sharing the truth of what it means to keep going after life-shattering grief.
Here, you’ll hear stories that aren’t often told—the ones full of fear, strength, heartbreak, and hope. These are not your typical blissful birth stories. They are stories of angel babies and rainbow babies. Of cesareans and unmedicated births. Of belly births, vaginal births, and everything in between. Most importantly, they are stories of resilience. Of courage. Of a love that endures.
We believe a rainbow isn’t just a baby born after loss—it’s a bridge: a connection between what was lost and what may still come. A symbol of strength, love, and healing.
If you’re pregnant after loss, trying to conceive, or searching for hope after pregnancy loss, this podcast is for you. You’ll walk away feeling less alone, more seen, and deeply validated in your experience.
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