Established Family Podcast

Brought to you by ⁠The Marriage Academy⁠https://university.establishedfamily.com/marriage/

Is divorce biblical?Are there really “biblical outs”?And if there are… should you take them?

There was a season in my life where I was striving at full effort as a husband… and producing nothing that carried eternal weight.I was praying.I was working.I was trying.I was providing.But I was unfit for good works.In this episode, I share openly from the heart of a husband who had to come to grips with a hard truth: you can be saved, gifted, and sincere — and still build your marriage on dead works.If you’ve ever felt like nothing in your marriage is enough…If your effort seems to leak out like wages in a bag with holes (Haggai 1)…If you are exhausted from fighting, striving, proving, performing…This conversation is for you.We walk through:The difference between trials and temptation — and the crisis-point where obedience is decidedHow dead works quietly take over Christian marriagesWhy some husbands are working hard but producing no fruitWhat it means to be created for good works (Ephesians 2:10)How your marriage is one of the primary ways you express your salvationI share the moment in my own deliverance journey where I wrote in my journal:“God, give me a revelation of good works.”I didn’t fully understand what I was asking for — but my spirit knew something was missing.Good works are not self-generated effort.They are works that originate from God’s nature, align with His design, and were prepared in advance for you to walk in.When a husband builds in his own name, the home carries strain.When a husband builds in God’s name, the home carries provision.Hebrews 9 tells us the blood of Christ cleanses our conscience from dead works so that we may serve the living God. That cleansing is not abstract theology — it changes how you lead your home.Your marriage is not just a relationship.It is one of the clearest places your salvation becomes visible.If this episode challenges you, comment below:What does a revelation of good works look like for you in your marriage?And if the Holy Spirit is convicting you — don’t resist it.Repent of dead works.Discard the former self.Build with gold, not straw.There is fruit waiting on the other side of obedience.

This is a complimentary module from ⁠The Marriage Academy⁠:https://university.establishedfamily.com/marriage/ In this free Marriage Academy module, we confront the belief systems in marriage that quietly become strongholds—and the fruit they’ve been producing for years.This is Semester 2, Module 2 of The Marriage Academy, where we expose how lies, normalized thinking, and inherited belief systems shape marriages far more than behavior alone.Many couples repent of actions……but never renounce the belief systems that produced them.In this teaching, we walk through Scripture to show how belief systems are formed, how deception operates, and why fruit never changes until agreement changes.Using passages such as 2 Thessalonians 2, Ephesians 4, Romans 6, Matthew 7, John 15, and Jeremiah 6, we unpack how false beliefs about God, truth, identity, and marriage become operating systems that govern:• What feels “normal”• What gets protected• What gets justified• What gets passed down generationallyYou’ll learn why repentance alone is incomplete without renouncing agreement, and how Scripture consistently calls believers to reject, put off, deny, forsake, and cast away systems that oppose God’s truth.This module also addresses:• Why intelligent, high-capacity couples can still produce unhealthy fruit• How marriages unknowingly withhold righteous fruit from one another• Why you cannot serve two belief systems at once• How fruit reveals whether a belief system is still active• The difference between surface change and spiritual transitionBy the end of this teaching, you’ll be guided to:• Identify belief systems that have become strongholds• Renounce agreement with lies that shaped your marriage• Replace false belief systems with the truth of Scripture• Write a letter of repentance to your spouse for upholding false agreementsThis is not marriage advice.This is spiritual alignment.If you change the belief system, you change the fruit.This episode is a free release from The Marriage Academy, our 12-week, four-semester marriage program designed to re-establish marriages according to God’s design through teaching, activation, and transformation.

Brought to you by ⁠The Marriage Academy⁠https://university.establishedfamily.com/marriage/ Most marriages don’t end because love disappeared.They end because something underneath love was compromised long before anyone admitted it.In this episode of Marriage Wisdom, we confront one of the most common — and most destructive — statements spoken in marriage:“I don’t love them anymore.”“I love them, but I’m not in love.”Scripture does not treat those words as emotional conclusions.It treats them as spiritual evidence.Using 1 Timothy 1:5, we expose the biblical anatomy of love and why love collapses when its foundation is fractured. According to Paul, love does not originate in feelings, attraction, or compatibility — it flows from:• a pure heart• a good conscience• a sincere faithWhen any one of those is compromised, love does not mature — it mutates.This episode dismantles the cultural and even Christianized lies surrounding love in marriage and reveals why “falling out of love” is never random, never neutral, and never harmless. It exposes how defiled desires, dulled consciences, and fractured faith reshape love into tolerance, self-preservation, distance, and eventual disengagement.We also confront the counterfeit replacements people are encouraged to pursue once love feels gone — “finding yourself,” “protecting your peace,” “moving on” — and why Scripture identifies those paths as meaningless talk, not healing.This is not a message about trying harder, fixing your spouse, or manufacturing emotion.It is a call to re-consecration, spiritual alignment, and learning how to war for your marriage with the right kind of love — covenant love rooted in righteousness, mercy, and faith.If love feels absent in your marriage, this episode will help you identify what actually failed, where repentance begins, and how restoration becomes possible again — not by redefining love, but by returning to its source.

If you and your spouse are always arguing, it’s not just a communication problem.In this episode of Marriage Wisdom, we confront the real reason conflict keeps resurfacing in marriages—even when both spouses “know better,” love God, or have tried counseling, books, and tools.Strife is not a personality trait.Contention is not a communication style.And conflict does not come from nowhere.Many marriages are unknowingly governed by a spirit of strife—one that retrains how you think, feel, react, and engage with your spouse long before a single word is spoken.In this episode, we expose 9 common lies about communication and conflict in marriage that quietly keep couples stuck in cycles of chaos, accusation, emotional retaliation, and shutdown. These lies sound reasonable. They often sound spiritual. But left unchallenged, they dismantle covenant from the inside out.You’ll learn:Why “it’s just a communication issue” is one of the most dangerous lies in marriageHow strife disguises itself as personality, upbringing, honesty, or strengthWhy frequency of arguing doesn’t matter nearly as much as accessHow unresolved contention reshapes your nervous system, reactions, and home atmosphereThe biblical difference between peacekeeping and peacemakingHow strife manifests differently in husbands, wives, and the marriage itselfWhy ignoring conflict doesn’t protect your children—it forms themScripture makes it clear: where there is strife, there is disorder—and every evil practice.Strife is not neutral. It disciples your home, shapes your children, and determines the spiritual atmosphere of your marriage.This episode is not about blame.It is about discernment, repentance, and restoration.If you’re ready to stop going in circles and start confronting the real issue, this conversation will bring clarity, conviction, and direction.📖 Scriptures Referenced:Proverbs 29:20Proverbs 18:2Proverbs 24:121 Corinthians 3:3Proverbs 10:12Galatians 5:19–21Proverbs 26:21Proverbs 15:18Proverbs 22:10Proverbs 27:15–16🛠 Ready for Real Transformation?Established Family Counseling offers structured 4-week and 8-week programs designed to confront unhealthy cycles, restore order, and help you walk out God’s design for marriage—whether individually or together with your spouse.Counseling with Derek & Jordan is reserved exclusively for 8-week clients under care.Every counselor on the Established Family team is personally discipled, trained, and spiritually aligned to provide true accountability—not surface-level advice.👉 Register here: https://www.establishedfamily.com/program