Parenting With Psychology

There are four recognized parenting styles, and most parents have never been told which one they default to, or what the research actually shows happens to kids raised inside each one. This video breaks down all four, in plain language, with no shame attached.

You'll learn the difference between rules that build respect and rules that just build compliance, why "being the fun parent" can quietly backfire, and the one style researchers consistently find produces the best outcomes for kids on every measure that matters.

Researchers followed adolescents raised in all four styles and found one pattern stands out clearly above the rest, and it's not the one most parents assume.

In this podcast:
→ The strict style that gets obedience but not always trust
→ Why being the "fun parent" can work against you long-term
→ Where "gentle parenting" actually lands and why it's not always what parents think
→ The style almost no parent means to fall into
→ The one style the research consistently points to as the winner (and what gentle parenting looks like when it's done right)
→ The one shift that moves you toward it, starting today

Reserve your seat in my free workshop 👉 https://www.drlindsayemmerson.com/workshop

When your child prefers one parent, that stretch where they suddenly only want one of you — it's one of the most common and most misunderstood phases in early parenting. Most parents respond by accidentally gamifying it, and that's the exact thing that makes it worse.

In this podcast, a licensed clinical psychologist breaks down why treating "who do you want tonight?" like a contest backfires, and what to say and do instead so both parents feel valued, and your child learns that love isn't something you win.

Research on infant-parent attachment shows preference patterns are a normal, temporary part of development, but how parents respond to them determines whether the pattern fades or gets reinforced.

In this podcast:
→ The bedtime habit that's accidentally training your child to pick favorites
→ Why cheering for the "winner" makes preference worse, not better
→ The Interchangeable Parent Rule, and the exact words to use tonight
→ What to do when your child protests the parent they didn't pick
→ How this connects to raising a child who thrives long-term

Grab my free Better Behavior Guide 👉 https://www.drlindsayemmerson.com/better

When another child hits your toddler, the instinct to snap at the other kid — or tell your own child to hit back — is completely understandable. Neither one teaches your child what actually helps. This video walks through what to do instead, including the honest answer to the question almost every parent asks at some point: should you ever teach your child to hit back?

Physical aggression in toddlers peaks around age 2 to 2.5 before declining — the child who hit yours is very likely going through the same developmental stage most toddlers pass through, not something uniquely wrong with them (Tremblay et al., 2004).

In this podcast:
→ The 3 A's Method, applied to the moment your child gets hit
→ The honest answer to "should I teach my child to hit back?"
→ How to manage your own protective anger in the moment
→ What to do when it's the same child hitting yours, over and over
→ The exact words to use with your child afterward

Grab my free Family Meeting Guide 👉 https://www.drlindsayemmerson.com/meeting

Another child takes your toddler's toy, and you freeze or you feel your blood pressure spike at the other parent standing right there, not stepping in. This video walks through exactly what to say and do, whether or not the other parent gets involved.

Toddlers as young as 20 months already actively assert ownership, and by 30 months they're standing their ground against a peer's attempts to take what's theirs, which is part of why these moments feel so constant and so charged (Ross, 2013).

In this podcast:
→ The 3 A's Method: Acknowledge, Anchor, Alternative
→ What to say when it's clearly your child's toy or turn
→ Exactly what to do when the other parent doesn't step in
→ Why freezing teaches the opposite of what you want your child to learn
→ The one line that speaks up for your child without starting a parent-to-parent conflict

Stop tantrums and meltdowns. Start here 👉 https://www.drlindsayemmerson.com/start

✨ Want the full step-by-step system for stopping repeated hitting? Register for the free workshop → https://www.drlindsayemmerson.com/workshop
If your toddler keeps hitting other kids — not a single tap, but real, repeated hitting — you've probably already heard "check in with the hurt child first." That advice is right, but it's incomplete. It doesn't tell you what to actually do about the hitting itself, especially when it keeps happening.
In this episode, I'm walking through the CATCH Method — the exact 5-step sequence I use in my practice for repeated physical aggression in toddlers, including close supervision, physical interruption, and consistent consequences that actually decrease the behavior over time.
Physical aggression is developmentally normal and rises through age 2 to 3 before declining through the preschool years — the real task isn't eliminating the impulse, it's teaching a child to control it (Tremblay et al., 2004).
In this episode: → The CATCH Method for repeated hitting, step by step → Why checking in with the hurt child first isn't the whole answer → The exact one-sentence consequence to state — and how to follow through → What to do when your child hits back → How to rebuild trust with other kids and parents once the hitting stops
💬 Comment CATCH below if repeated hitting is something you're dealing with right now.
#ToddlerHitting #ToddlerAggression #ToddlerDiscipline #ParentingWithPsychology #GentleParenting
New to my podcast?  I'm Dr. Lindsay Emmerson, a clinical psychologist and Mom of 4, and I help parents find that sweet spot between support and structure that psychology research tells us is best for families now and best for our kids in the future.
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Disclaimer: The advice provided on my channel is different from therapy and does not substitute for professional psychological treatment or other types of professional advice or intervention.  Never disregard the advice of a medical professional or postpone seeking professional medical advice related to anything you hear on this channel.  
If you or your child have concerns or need further parenting or personal support, please contact a physician or other qualified local health professional.
00:00 – 00:52 | Intro
00:52 – 02:01 | Why "Check In With the Hurt Child" Isn't the Whole Answer
02:01 – 02:17 | The CATCH Method
02:17 – 03:01 | Getting Close Enough to Catch It
03:01 – 03:56 | Catching It Early
03:56 – 05:31 | The One Sentence That Makes This Effective
05:31 – 07:03 | Actually Removing Them From The Play
07:03 – 08:12 | What To Do Instead of Hitting
08:12 – 11:13 | What This Builds Toward