Stop Trying to Be Liked — Start Being Chased | Social Intelligence Briefing
AJ and Johnny break down the X-Factor Operating System — the mindset and skill set that turns overthinkers into magnetic communicators. If you’ve ever wondered why people seem to like you less the more you explain yourself, this episode shows you how to flip the script.
You’ll learn the three layers of the X-Factor OS and how to shift from approval-seeking to curiosity-creating. Discover how to master strategic withholding, read investment signals instead of approval cues, and build the calm, confident presence that draws people in without forcing connection.
This isn’t about becoming someone new — it’s about finally revealing the version of you that your closest friends already know.
Chapters:
00:00 – The real reason people don’t connect02:00 – The X-Factor OS: revealing the real you04:00 – The 80/20 rule for curiosity and intrigue06:00 – Stop chasing approval — start reading signals08:00 – How to spot real curiosity in conversation10:00 – Identity replacement and the operator mindset12:00 – Withholding as a superpower: making people chase you14:00 – The 2-second rule for intrigue and control16:00 – How to practice this skill in daily life18:00 – Installing the X-Factor OS
A Word From Our Sponsors
Stop being over looked and unlock your X-Factor today at unlockyourxfactor.com
Check out Johnny on Instagram @Social_Intell or on Tiktok @social_intel
The very qualities that make you exceptional in your field are working against you socially. Visit the artofcharm.com/intel for a social intelligence assessment and discover exactly what's holding you back.
Don’t let financial opportunity slip through the cracks. Use code CHARM at monarch.com in your browser for HALF OFF your first year.
Indulge in affordable luxury with Quince. Upgrade your wardrobe today at quince.com/charm for free shipping and hassle-free returns.
Ready to turn your business idea into reality? Sign up for your $1/month trial at shopify.com/charm.
Need to hire top talent—fast? Claim your $75 Sponsored Job Credit now at Indeed.com/charm.
This year, skip breaking a sweat AND breaking the bank. Get your summer savings and shop premium wireless plans at mintmobile.com/charm
Save more than fifty percent on term life insurance at SELECTQUOTE.COM/CHARM TODAY to get started
Curious about your influence level?
Get your Influence Index Score today!
Take this 60-second quiz to find out how your influence stacks up against top performers at theartofcharm.com/influence.
Check in with AJ and Johnny!
AJ on LinkedIn
Johnny on LinkedIn
AJ on Instagram
Johnny on Instagram
The Art of Charm on Instagram
The Art of Charm on YouTube
The Art of Charm on TikTok
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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11:05
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11:05
Start Designing a Life That Matters | Bill Burnett and Dave Evans
AJ and Johnny sit down with Bill Burnett and Dave Evans, Stanford professors and authors of Designing Your Life, to explore how to build a more meaningful, fully alive existence. They share why “follow your passion” is bad advice, how design thinking can help you reframe your sense of purpose, and what it really takes to live with coherence and wonder.
Bill and Dave unpack the myths around self-actualization, the power of community in shaping growth, and how curiosity plus mystery creates everyday wonder. From shifting your mindset from “got to” to “get to,” to discovering your “focus question,” this conversation reveals how to design a life that’s creative, connected, and consciously alive.
Chapters:00:00 – How lunch at Stanford started a global movement
05:00 – From “follow your passion” to “design your life”10:00 – Why chasing impact isn’t enough for meaning15:00 – Rethinking self-actualization and transcendence20:00 – The four keys to a meaningful life: wonder, coherence, flow, and community25:00 – How to find your focus question and design your compass30:00 – The power of formative communities and shared stories35:00 – Building resilience through small moments of wonder40:00 – Awakening the “flow world” and shifting from got to → get to45:00 – The mindsets for living fully alive
A Word From Our Sponsors
Stop being over looked and unlock your X-Factor today at unlockyourxfactor.com
The very qualities that make you exceptional in your field are working against you socially. Visit the artofcharm.com/intel for a social intelligence assessment and discover exactly what's holding you back.
If you’ve put off organizing your finances, Monarch is for you. Use code CHARM at monarch.com in your browser for half off your first year.
Indulge in affordable luxury with Quince. Upgrade your wardrobe today at quince.com/charm for free shipping and hassle-free returns.
Grow your way - with Headway! Get started at makeheadway.com/CHARM and use my code CHARM for 25% off.
Ready to turn your business idea into reality? Sign up for your $1/month trial at shopify.com/charm.
Need to hire top talent—fast? Claim your $75 Sponsored Job Credit now at Indeed.com/charm.
This year, skip breaking a sweat AND breaking the bank. Get your summer savings and shop premium wireless plans at mintmobile.com/charm
Save more than fifty percent on term life insurance at SELECTQUOTE.COM/CHARM TODAY to get started
Curious about your influence level?
Get your Influence Index Score today!
Take this 60-second quiz to find out how your influence stacks up against top performers at theartofcharm.com/influence.
Episode resources:
DesigningYour.life
How to Live a Meaningful Life: Using Design Thinking to Unlock Purpose, Joy, and Flow Every Day
Designing Your Life: How to Build a Well-Lived, Joyful Life
Check in with AJ and Johnny!
AJ on LinkedIn
Johnny on LinkedIn
AJ on Instagram
Johnny on Instagram
The Art of Charm on Instagram
The Art of Charm on YouTube
The Art of Charm on TikTok
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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1:00:50
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1:00:50
The One Body Language Cue That Beats All the Others | Social Intelligence Briefing
In this episode, AJ and Johnny reveal one of the most powerful — and overlooked — body language cues in human behavior: the freeze.
First uncovered by former FBI counterintelligence agent Joe Navarro, the freeze isn’t fidgeting or eye contact — it’s the moment someone suddenly goes still. Whether you’re leading a team, negotiating a deal, or having a difficult conversation, this cue can tell you when you’ve hit something real.
You’ll learn exactly what the freeze means in the brain, how to spot it in real time, and the one move that separates amateurs from operators when it happens. This 10-minute skill upgrade will forever change how you read people, build trust, and uncover the truth in any conversation.
Chapters:
00:00 – The FBI’s secret body language cue01:30 – What the “freeze” reveals about the brain
03:00 – How to spot the freeze in feedback and negotiation05:00 – The two-second silence that surfaces truth07:00 – Three signs of the freeze: motion, breath, and face08:00 – The Two-Second Freeze Drill (step-by-step)10:00 – Training your nervous system to stay calm under pressure
Episode Resources: If you want to build your network the way spies build sources, go grab our free guide: Network Like A Spy at theartofcharm.com/spy
A Word From Our Sponsors
Stop being over looked and unlock your X-Factor today at unlockyourxfactor.com
Check out Johnny on Instagram @Social_Intell or on Tiktok @social_intel
The very qualities that make you exceptional in your field are working against you socially. Visit the artofcharm.com/intel for a social intelligence assessment and discover exactly what's holding you back.
Don’t let financial opportunity slip through the cracks. Use code CHARM at monarch.com in your browser for HALF OFF your first year.
Indulge in affordable luxury with Quince. Upgrade your wardrobe today at quince.com/charm for free shipping and hassle-free returns.
Ready to turn your business idea into reality? Sign up for your $1/month trial at shopify.com/charm.
Need to hire top talent—fast? Claim your $75 Sponsored Job Credit now at Indeed.com/charm.
This year, skip breaking a sweat AND breaking the bank. Get your summer savings and shop premium wireless plans at mintmobile.com/charm
Save more than fifty percent on term life insurance at SELECTQUOTE.COM/CHARM TODAY to get started
Curious about your influence level?
Get your Influence Index Score today!
Take this 60-second quiz to find out how your influence stacks up against top performers at theartofcharm.com/influence.
Check in with AJ and Johnny!
AJ on LinkedIn
Johnny on LinkedIn
AJ on Instagram
Johnny on Instagram
The Art of Charm on Instagram
The Art of Charm on YouTube
The Art of Charm on TikTok
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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15:26
3 Steps to Move from Stress to Strength | Jon Rosemberg
Episode Description:
AJ and Johnny sit down with Jon Rosemberg to unpack how to break free from survival mode and start thriving in your work, relationships, and mindset. They explore how chronic stress, fear, and comparison keep us stuck in scarcity — and how awareness and reframing can open new paths to fulfillment. Jon introduces his AIR framework (Awareness, Inquiry, Reframing), showing how to calm the nervous system, challenge limiting beliefs, and reconnect with purpose. They also discuss emotional intelligence, vulnerability in leadership, and how success and thriving aren’t the same thing. This episode is for anyone ready to overcome burnout, regain agency, and create a life that feels meaningful — not just manageable.
Chapters:
00:00 – Welcome and defining survival mode
02:30 – Why our minds stay stuck in scarcity
05:00 – Survival mode’s impact on relationships and connection
08:00 – Introducing the AIR framework: Awareness, Inquiry, Reframing
13:00 – Naming beliefs and shifting self-judgment
18:00 – Thriving vs. success: the power of meaning and mastery
23:00 – Balancing authenticity and belonging
29:00 – Understanding core values and agency
36:00 – Managing the inner critic and finding perspective
45:00 – From directive to collaborative leadership
A Word From Our Sponsors
Stop being over looked and unlock your X-Factor today at unlockyourxfactor.com
The very qualities that make you exceptional in your field are working against you socially. Visit the artofcharm.com/intel for a social intelligence assessment and discover exactly what's holding you back.
If you’ve put off organizing your finances, Monarch is for you. Use code CHARM at monarch.com in your browser for half off your first year.
Indulge in affordable luxury with Quince. Upgrade your wardrobe today at quince.com/charm for free shipping and hassle-free returns.
Grow your way - with Headway! Get started at makeheadway.com/CHARM and use my code CHARM for 25% off.
Ready to turn your business idea into reality? Sign up for your $1/month trial at shopify.com/charm.
Need to hire top talent—fast? Claim your $75 Sponsored Job Credit now at Indeed.com/charm.
This year, skip breaking a sweat AND breaking the bank. Get your summer savings and shop premium wireless plans at mintmobile.com/charm
Save more than fifty percent on term life insurance at SELECTQUOTE.COM/CHARM TODAY to get started
Curious about your influence level?
Get your Influence Index Score today!
Take this 60-second quiz to find out how your influence stacks up against top performers at theartofcharm.com/influence.
Episode resources:
JonRosemberg.com
A Guide to Thriving: The Science Behind Breaking Old Patterns, Reclaiming Your Agency, and Finding Meaning
Check in with AJ and Johnny!
AJ on LinkedIn
Johnny on LinkedIn
AJ on Instagram
Johnny on Instagram
The Art of Charm on Instagram
The Art of Charm on YouTube
The Art of Charm on TikTok
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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57:48
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57:48
The Elicitation Protocol | Social Intel Brief
Ever wonder how top performers turn casual small talk into career-changing conversations? In this episode of Social Intelligence Brief, AJ and Johnny reveal the 3L Protocol — a proven system used by intelligence operatives and elite networkers to make powerful connections fast.
You’ll learn how to identify emotional signals in conversation, reflect them back authentically, and turn them into trust through micro-favors — all without sounding manipulative or forced. Whether you’re at a networking event, a date, or a team meeting, this framework helps you move from surface-level chatter to deep rapport in under 30 seconds.
This isn’t about asking better questions — it’s about noticing better.
What to Listen For
[00:00:00] The hidden skill that turns small talk into influence[00:00:27] Why high-value people respond to social intelligence — not effort[00:02:02] The 3L Protocol: Listen, Label, Leverage[00:03:24] How to recognize goals, constraints, and emotional cues[00:04:21] The difference between labeling and giving advice[00:05:23] Real-world example: turning a casual chat into trust[00:06:21] How to use “micro-favors” to show value fast[00:07:47] Examples for networking, dating, and professional settings[00:09:21] The secret to effortless alignment and emotional connection[00:10:35] Final recap: Listen. Label. Leverage.
A Word From Our Sponsors
Stop being over looked and unlock your X-Factor today at unlockyourxfactor.com
The very qualities that make you exceptional in your field are working against you socially. Visit the artofcharm.com/intel for a social intelligence assessment and discover exactly what's holding you back.
Indulge in affordable luxury with Quince. Upgrade your wardrobe today at quince.com/charm for free shipping and hassle-free returns.
Grow your way - with Headway! Get started at makeheadway.com/CHARM and use my code CHARM for 25% off.
Ready to turn your business idea into reality? Sign up for your $1/month trial at shopify.com/charm.
Need to hire top talent—fast? Claim your $75 Sponsored Job Credit now at Indeed.com/charm.
This year, skip breaking a sweat AND breaking the bank. Get your summer savings and shop premium wireless plans at mintmobile.com/charm
Save more than fifty percent on term life insurance at SELECTQUOTE.COM/CHARM TODAY to get started
Curious about your influence level?
Get your Influence Index Score today!
Take this 60-second quiz to find out how your influence stacks up against top performers at theartofcharm.com/influence.
Check in with AJ and Johnny!
AJ on LinkedIn
Johnny on LinkedIn
AJ on Instagram
Johnny on Instagram
The Art of Charm on Instagram
The Art of Charm on YouTube
The Art of Charm on TikTok
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
The Art of Charm is where self-motivated people, just like you, come to learn from the company’s coaches about to how to master human dynamics, relationships, and becoming your best self with the help of Johnny and AJ, the company’s founders. Johnny and AJ bring their 11 years of coaching experience from their famous Bootcamps, where they host clients in Los Angeles from all over the world and they share their stories, best practices and themselves on this weekly podcast. Not only does The Art of Charm help everyday people, including active members of the military, learn how to become higher performers, better spouses, partners, and coworkers, they dig deep into human behavior, the science behind it, and demystify what we do and why we do it.
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