The Art of Charm

• Your Brain Needs More Space, Not More Hacks | Dr. Anne-Laure Le Cunff

  Can being "too smart" actually hold you back socially? In this episode of Social Intelligence, AJ Harbinger and Johnny Dzubak sit down with Anne-Laure Le Cunff—founder of Ness Labs and a former Googler turned neuroscience researcher—to explore the psychology of overthinking, social fatigue, and emotional connection for high performers. If you've ever felt drained after socializing, struggled to connect in unstructured conversations, or defaulted to overanalyzing instead of just vibing, Anne-Laure’s insights will change how you see your brain—and your relationships. What to Listen For [00:00:00] Meet Anne-Laure: Neuroscience researcher, entrepreneur, and former Googler [00:02:01] What inspired Anne-Laure to walk away from Silicon Valley [00:04:02] The science of mental fitness: training your mind like a muscle [00:05:42] Why smart people often struggle in social settings [00:07:50] Overthinking vs. high thinking: what’s the difference? [00:09:20] Anne-Laure’s framework for emotional granularity [00:11:03] The hidden impact of unspoken emotions on your connections [00:12:42] How journaling and reflection sharpen your emotional vocabulary [00:14:35] Real-time self-awareness: catching yourself before you spiral [00:16:04] Why smart people default to logic instead of connection—and how to fix it [00:18:20] The loneliness trap of overperformance [00:20:03] How Anne-Laure blends neuroscience with self-compassion [00:22:01] The importance of emotional bandwidth and recovery [00:24:40] What socially intelligent people do differently after high-effort conversations [00:27:20] Tools for restoring your energy after social drain [00:29:00] Why connection doesn’t mean constant performance [00:31:05] Anne-Laure’s advice for other deep thinkers navigating real relationships A Word From Our Sponsors Tired of awkward handshakes and collecting business cards without building real connections? Dive into our Free Social Capital Networking Masterclass. Learn practical strategies to make your interactions meaningful and boost your confidence in any social situation. Sign up for free at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠theartofcharm.com/sc⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and elevate your networking from awkward to awesome. Don’t miss out on a network of opportunities! Unleash the power of covert networking to infiltrate high-value circles and build a 7-figure network in just 90 days. Ready to start? Check out our ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠CIA-proven guide⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to networking like a spy! Indulge in affordable luxury with Quince—where high-end essentials meet unbeatable prices. Upgrade your wardrobe today at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠quince.com/charm⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ for free shipping and hassle-free returns. Ready to turn your business idea into reality? Shopify makes it easy to start, scale, and succeed—whether you're launching a side hustle or building the next big brand. Sign up for your $1/month trial at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠shopify.com/charm⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. Need to hire top talent—fast? Skip the waiting game and get more qualified applicants with Indeed. Claim your $75 Sponsored Job Credit now at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Indeed.com/charm⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. This year, skip breaking a sweat AND breaking the bank. Get your summer savings and shop premium wireless plans at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠mintmobile.com/charm⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Stop needlessly overpaying for car insurance. Before you renew your policy, do yourself a favor—download the Jerry app or head to JERRY.com/charm Connect with quality therapists and mental health experts who specialize in you at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.rula.com/charm ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Curious about your influence level?  Get your Influence Index Score today! Take this 60-second quiz to find out how your influence stacks up against top performers at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠theartofcharm.com/influence⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. Episode resources: https://anne-laure.net/ Check in with AJ and Johnny! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠AJ on LinkedIn⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Johnny on LinkedIn⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠AJ on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Johnny on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Art of Charm on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Art of Charm on YouTube⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Art of Charm on TikTok Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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• Supercharge Your Charisma [Social Intelligence Brief]

  If you’ve ever felt invisible in a room full of people, it’s not your personality—it’s your presence. In this episode of Social Intelligence, AJ and John unpack the three research-backed traits that make people charismatic, memorable, and magnetic—whether you're an introvert or not. You’ll learn how charisma isn't a gift you’re born with, but a skill you can train. From mastering body language to showing emotional generosity, this episode delivers the tools to light up every room you walk into—without faking it or burning out. What to Listen For [00:00:00] Why charisma beats competence in winning attention and influence[00:01:30] The Harvard study that proves social intelligence matters more than IQ[00:03:00] Syncing with others: why charismatic people create biological resonance[00:04:00] How charisma helps introverts use energy efficiently—not drain it[00:05:00] Trait #1: Presence — why micro-pauses and ditching your phone matter[00:06:30] The hedge fund manager who finally nailed charisma by showing up differently[00:08:00] Trait #2: Enthusiasm — the underrated superpower of emotional generosity[00:09:30] Why asking, “What do you love about your job?” instantly creates connection[00:11:00] Trait #3: Confidence — the body leads the mind, not the other way around[00:12:30] Smiling, posture, and anchoring the room: the nonverbal signs of true confidence[00:14:00] How to mentally prep for presence: “Who do I want to be? How do I want them to feel?”[00:15:30] Weekly challenge: your three-part field test for real-time charisma training Check in with AJ and Johnny! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠AJ on LinkedIn⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Johnny on LinkedIn⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠AJ on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Johnny on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Art of Charm on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Art of Charm on YouTube⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Art of Charm on TikTok Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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• Nice Guys Finish First—If They Do This | Dr. Ryan Fehr

  When high-stakes emotions hit — anger, anxiety, fear — most people default to either freezing or reacting. In this episode of Social Intelligence, Dr. Ryan Fehr, a leadership professor at the University of Washington, shares tools that help Navy SEALs, Fortune 500 execs, and everyday professionals regulate emotions under pressure. Ryan and AJ discuss how to train your brain to respond—rather than react—in critical moments, build emotional range, and use discomfort as a performance advantage. If you’ve ever walked away from a conversation thinking, “Why did I say that?”—this episode will show you how to stay in control when it matters most. What to Listen For [00:00:00] Why emotional intelligence beats raw intellect under pressure[00:04:32] How to keep your cool during hard conversations[00:07:15] Why naming your emotions gives you back control (affect labeling)[00:11:28] The one mindset trick elite performers use to slow time during chaos[00:15:40] Why “emotional range” is more important than positivity[00:20:11] A Navy SEAL’s approach to mastering fear[00:24:57] How to recognize your “emotional dashboard” before you blow up[00:29:45] Why overconfidence is emotionally blinding — and how to fix it[00:36:01] How Ryan teaches emotional control to MBA students and CEOs[00:42:16] Emotional safety in leadership: what the research actually shows[00:47:20] A 10-second tool to stay grounded when you want to explode[00:51:55] What to do after an emotional failure — the self-compassion loop A Word From Our Sponsors Tired of awkward handshakes and collecting business cards without building real connections? Dive into our Free Social Capital Networking Masterclass. Learn practical strategies to make your interactions meaningful and boost your confidence in any social situation. Sign up for free at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠theartofcharm.com/sc⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and elevate your networking from awkward to awesome. Don’t miss out on a network of opportunities! Unleash the power of covert networking to infiltrate high-value circles and build a 7-figure network in just 90 days. Ready to start? Check out our ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠CIA-proven guide⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to networking like a spy! Indulge in affordable luxury with Quince—where high-end essentials meet unbeatable prices. Upgrade your wardrobe today at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠quince.com/charm⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ for free shipping and hassle-free returns. Ready to turn your business idea into reality? Shopify makes it easy to start, scale, and succeed—whether you're launching a side hustle or building the next big brand. Sign up for your $1/month trial at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠shopify.com/charm⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. Need to hire top talent—fast? Skip the waiting game and get more qualified applicants with Indeed. Claim your $75 Sponsored Job Credit now at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Indeed.com/charm⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. This year, skip breaking a sweat AND breaking the bank. Get your summer savings and shop premium wireless plans at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠mintmobile.com/charm⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Stop needlessly overpaying for car insurance. Before you renew your policy, do yourself a favor—download the Jerry app or head to JERRY.com/charm Connect with quality therapists and mental health experts who specialize in you at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.rula.com/charm ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Curious about your influence level?  Get your Influence Index Score today! Take this 60-second quiz to find out how your influence stacks up against top performers at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠theartofcharm.com/influence⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. Check in with AJ and Johnny! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠AJ on LinkedIn⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Johnny on LinkedIn⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠AJ on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Johnny on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Art of Charm on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Art of Charm on YouTube⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Art of Charm on TikTok Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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• Present Like a Pro: The 4 Brain Hacks Used by Top Performers [Social Intelligence Brief]

  In this short, tactical episode, AJ and Johnny deliver a science-backed masterclass on how to create presentations that audiences remember. Forget reading from your slides and dumping data. This episode outlines four proven strategies that top speakers use to captivate attention, boost retention, and make every talk land with clarity and impact. What to Listen For: [00:00] The brutal truth: people forget 90% of what they hear[00:58] Strategy #1: Control the 10% – what’s the one thing they should remember?[01:44] The science behind memory decay and how to structure around it[03:05] Strategy #2: Use the Memory Curve – why timing matters more than you think[04:12] Why you must “open with fire and close with clarity”[05:23] Strategy #3: Kill the Split-Attention Effect – how to avoid losing your audience to your slides[06:32] Minimal text, bold visuals, and Phil Jackson’s secret to motivating elite performers[07:58] Strategy #4: Prevent Cognitive Overload – why more data = less retention[09:04] The Rule of Three: a high-performer’s framework for simplifying complex ideas[10:12] Recap of the 4 strategies that separate forgettable from impactful[10:46] How top performers “wire it” – real-world drills inside the X-Factor Accelerator[11:15] What “persuasion triggers” are—and how they level up leaders in real time A Word From Our Sponsors Tired of awkward handshakes and collecting business cards without building real connections? Dive into our Free Social Capital Networking Masterclass. Learn practical strategies to make your interactions meaningful and boost your confidence in any social situation. Sign up for free at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠theartofcharm.com/sc⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and elevate your networking from awkward to awesome. Don’t miss out on a network of opportunities! Unleash the power of covert networking to infiltrate high-value circles and build a 7-figure network in just 90 days. Ready to start? Check out our ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠CIA-proven guide⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to networking like a spy! Indulge in affordable luxury with Quince—where high-end essentials meet unbeatable prices. Upgrade your wardrobe today at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠quince.com/charm⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ for free shipping and hassle-free returns. Ready to turn your business idea into reality? Shopify makes it easy to start, scale, and succeed—whether you're launching a side hustle or building the next big brand. Sign up for your $1/month trial at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠shopify.com/charm⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. Need to hire top talent—fast? Skip the waiting game and get more qualified applicants with Indeed. Claim your $75 Sponsored Job Credit now at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Indeed.com/charm⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. This year, skip breaking a sweat AND breaking the bank. Get your summer savings and shop premium wireless plans at ⁠⁠⁠⁠mintmobile.com/charm⁠⁠⁠⁠ Stop needlessly overpaying for car insurance. Before you renew your policy, do yourself a favor—download the Jerry app or head to JERRY.com/charm Connect with quality therapists and mental health experts who specialize in you at ⁠⁠⁠⁠www.rula.com/charm ⁠⁠⁠⁠ Curious about your influence level?  Get your Influence Index Score today! Take this 60-second quiz to find out how your influence stacks up against top performers at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠theartofcharm.com/influence⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. Resources from this Episode ⁠⁠Dr. Abbie Marono's website⁠⁠ ⁠⁠The Upper Hand⁠⁠ Check in with AJ and Johnny! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠AJ on LinkedIn⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Johnny on LinkedIn⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠AJ on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Johnny on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Art of Charm on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Art of Charm on YouTube⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Art of Charm on TikTok Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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• Don’t Chase Trends—Chase Tension | Robert Siegel

  Why do some leaders command respect while others get ignored? In this episode of Social Intelligence, Stanford professor and venture capitalist Robert Siegel breaks down the overlooked behaviors that separate average performers from high-impact leaders. Drawing on decades of research and real-world business experience, Robert shares how humility, listening, and honest self-reflection are the key ingredients to long-term success. You’ll learn how to thrive in chaotic environments, shift from control to trust, and build loyalty in the people you lead — whether you’re running a startup, a classroom, or a family. What to Listen For [00:00:00] Why Robert’s background in tech and venture capital revealed a pattern in great leaders[00:03:11] What leaders miss when they mistake charisma for competence[00:07:19] The value of slowing down and listening — even when you’re under pressure[00:10:32] Why being the smartest person in the room can make you ineffective[00:14:09] Lessons from Motorola: how “hero culture” undermined the team[00:18:23] The danger of over-optimizing for control instead of building trust[00:25:00] The “credibility bank account” and how it affects influence and decision-making[00:31:11] What CEOs often miss about emotional intelligence[00:38:30] The role of humility in hiring, managing, and growing a company[00:44:15] Why balancing empathy and execution is the mark of a real leader[00:51:20] The underrated superpower of asking good questions instead of giving answers[00:56:42] What Robert teaches his Stanford students about legacy and influence A Word From Our Sponsors Tired of awkward handshakes and collecting business cards without building real connections? Dive into our Free Social Capital Networking Masterclass. Learn practical strategies to make your interactions meaningful and boost your confidence in any social situation. Sign up for free at ⁠⁠⁠⁠theartofcharm.com/sc⁠⁠⁠⁠ and elevate your networking from awkward to awesome. Don’t miss out on a network of opportunities! Unleash the power of covert networking to infiltrate high-value circles and build a 7-figure network in just 90 days. Ready to start? Check out our ⁠⁠⁠⁠CIA-proven guide⁠⁠⁠⁠ to networking like a spy! Indulge in affordable luxury with Quince—where high-end essentials meet unbeatable prices. Upgrade your wardrobe today at ⁠⁠⁠⁠quince.com/charm⁠⁠⁠⁠ for free shipping and hassle-free returns. Ready to turn your business idea into reality? Shopify makes it easy to start, scale, and succeed—whether you're launching a side hustle or building the next big brand. Sign up for your $1/month trial at ⁠⁠⁠⁠shopify.com/charm⁠⁠⁠⁠. Need to hire top talent—fast? Skip the waiting game and get more qualified applicants with Indeed. Claim your $75 Sponsored Job Credit now at ⁠⁠⁠⁠Indeed.com/charm⁠⁠⁠⁠. This year, skip breaking a sweat AND breaking the bank. Get your summer savings and shop premium wireless plans at ⁠⁠⁠mintmobile.com/charm⁠⁠⁠ Stop needlessly overpaying for car insurance. Before you renew your policy, do yourself a favor—download the Jerry app or head to JERRY.com/charm Connect with quality therapists and mental health experts who specialize in you at ⁠⁠⁠www.rula.com/charm ⁠⁠⁠ Curious about your influence level?  Get your Influence Index Score today! Take this 60-second quiz to find out how your influence stacks up against top performers at ⁠⁠⁠⁠theartofcharm.com/influence⁠⁠⁠⁠. Resources from this Episode ⁠Dr. Abbie Marono's website⁠ ⁠The Upper Hand⁠ Check in with AJ and Johnny! ⁠⁠⁠⁠AJ on LinkedIn⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠Johnny on LinkedIn⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠AJ on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠Johnny on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠The Art of Charm on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠The Art of Charm on YouTube⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠The Art of Charm on TikTok Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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