Coaching for Leaders

Guy Winch: Mind Over Grind

Guy Winch is a psychologist and bestselling author who advocates for integrating the science of emotional health into our daily lives. His TED talks have attracted over 35 million views, and his books have been translated into more than 30 languages. He is co-host of the Ambie-nominated Dear Therapists podcast and the author of the book Mind Over Grind: How to Break Free When Work Hijacks Your Life (Amazon, Bookshop)*.

Some of our parents got to work in the morning, put in a full day, and then by dinner time, didn’t think about work or do it until the next morning. That’s not reality for a lot of us today, so in this conversation, Guy and I explore what you can do to take back your evenings.

Key Points

Most work stress isn’t experienced at work.

Healthy thinking is intentional and leads us somewhere useful. Unhealthy thinking (rumination) isn’t intentional and tends to repeat the same script. It feels more like unpaid work.

To interrupt rumination outside of work, first label it and then associate it with disgust, disdain, and annoyance. Treat it like you would a skunk sitting next to you on the couch.

Rituals help our brains make a distinction between time to work and time to recover. Rituals are most powerful when they invoke one or more of our five senses to signal a shift to our brains.

Often we think of relaxation and recovery the same way our grandparents did who often did more manual work. Work today tends to be more mental and emotional, so indexing on ways to engage physically during recovery times is helpful.

Rather than just assuming that doing nothing, sitting on a beach, or seeing the sights is the best vacation, consider engaging in the things you love that you normally don’t get to do.

Resources Mentioned

Mind Over Grind: How to Break Free When Work Hijacks Your Life by Guy Winch (Amazon, Bookshop)*

Interview Notes

Download my interview notes in PDF format (free membership required).

Related Episodes

Align Your Calendar to What Matters, with Nir Eyal (episode 431)

What to Do With Your Feelings, with Lori Gottlieb (episode 438)

How High Achievers Begin to Find Balance, with Michael Hyatt (episode 522)

Discover More

Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic. To accelerate your learning, uncover more inside Coaching for Leaders Plus.

Gustavo Razzetti: Forward Talk

Gustavo Razzetti is a culture change instigator, speaker, and

CEO of Fearless Culture, a culture design consultancy. He helps

leaders build teams that talk about what matters—even when it’s

uncomfortable–through his books and tools, including the Culture Design Canvas. He is the author of Forward Talk: The Bold New Method for Getting Teams Unstuck (Amazon, Bookshop)*.

The beauty of a team is that we can get so much more done with collaboration. It also means that sometimes we surrender our responsibility to others. In this conversation, Gustavo and I explore what to do when a team gets stuck.

Key Points

Conversations are the foundation of collaboration. Without them, teams quickly build conversational debt.

We don’t stay silent because we’re scared. Rather, we stay quiet because we surrender our responsibility to others.

Many of us overestimate our courage. We believe that we’ll say something, but studies show that often we do not.

Forward Talk accomplishes two things: (1) addresses the real issue and (2) focuses on the future.

See information as an opportunity instead of an obstacle. Courage can begin with admitting what you don’t know.

Perspective is the choice to share your views instead of surrendering your judgment to social pressure.

Responsibility is a commitment to understand the systemic issues instead of entering into blame.

Resources Mentioned

Forward Talk: The Bold New Method for Getting Teams Unstuck by Gustavo Razzetti (Amazon, Bookshop)*

Interview Notes

Download my interview notes in PDF format (free membership required).

Related Episodes

Getting Better at Internal Communication, with Roy Schwartz (episode 687)

Help Your Team Coach Each Other, with Keith Ferrazzi (episode 709)

What Really Matters for Team Success, with Colin Fisher (episode 748)

Discover More

Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic. To accelerate your learning, uncover more inside Coaching for Leaders Plus.

Bonni Stachowiak: Teaching in Higher Ed

Bonni is the host of the Teaching in Higher Ed podcast, Dean of Teaching and Learning and Professor of Business and Management at Vanguard University, and my life partner. Prior to her academic career, she was a human resources consultant and executive officer for a publicly traded company. Bonni is the author of The Productive Online and Offline Professor: A Practical Guide (Amazon, Bookshop)*.

In this reflection episode, Bonni and I look back on recent past episodes and discuss questions, feedback, and insights that have surfaced from recent conversations.

Key Points

Dave responded to this question from Margaret Andrews:

What does success look like for you?

“You can have everything in life you want if you’ll just help enough other people get what they want.” -Zig Ziglar

“Success is the progressive realization of a worthy ideal.” -Earl Nightingale

Bonni responded to this question:

What feedback have you received over the years about how your actions and behaviors impact others?

Resources Mentioned

To be of use by Marge Piercy

Related Episodes

How to Get Way Better at Accepting Feedback, with Sheila Heen (episode 143)

Six Questions Every Leader Should Ask Themselves, with Margaret Andrews (episode 750)

How to Lead a Meaningful Cultural Shift, with David Hutchens (episode 755)

Discover More

Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic. To accelerate your learning, uncover more inside Coaching for Leaders Plus.

Shirzad Chamine: Positive Intelligence

Shirzad has been the CEO of the largest coach training organization in the world. He has lectured on Positive Intelligence at Stanford University and has trained faculty at Stanford and Yale business schools. He is the author of The New York Times bestseller Positive Intelligence: Why Only 20% of Teams and Individuals Achieve Their True Potential and How You Can Achieve Yours (Amazon, Bookshop)*.

By overusing our strengths, they can become our weakness. It’s just one of the many ways that leaders self-sabotage. In this conversation, Shirzad and I explore how to shift from self-sabotage to self-mastery.

Key Points

Most men lead lives of quiet desperation and go to the grave with the song still in them. -Henry David Thoreau

We are all a mixed bag of Darth Vader (saboteur) and Jedi knight (sage).

By overusing a strength, you turn it into a weakness.

Rather than attempting to eliminate all our saboteurs, it’s more helpful to be intentional about quieting them down.

The four most common saboteurs that show up for leaders are Controller, Stickler, Hyper Achiever, Hyper Rational.

Sage perspective: Every outcome or circumstance can be turned into an opportunity.

A 10-second brain shift can help quiet your mind and engage the sage. One way to do this is to rub your fingers together and notice the friction to get your mind out of autopilot.

Resources Mentioned

Positive Intelligence: Why Only 20% of Teams and Individuals Achieve Their True Potential and How You Can Achieve Yours by Shirzad Chamine (Amazon, Bookshop)*

Saboteur Assessment

Dave’s assessment results

Interview Notes

Download my interview notes in PDF format (free membership required).

Related Episodes

How to Tame Your Inner Critic, with Tara Mohr (episode 232)

The Path to More Joy in Work and Life, with Judith Joseph (episode 734)

How to See What’s Holding You Back, with Marty Dubin (episode 765)

Discover More

Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic. To accelerate your learning, uncover more inside Coaching for Leaders Plus.

Nilofer Merchart: Our Best Work

Nilofer Merchant is ranked among the world’s top management thinkers by Thinkers50 and is the founder of The Intangible Labs, where she defines the leading indicators of modern work. She’s launched more than 100 products totaling $18B in revenue, and her TED Talk, Sitting Is the Smoking of Our Generation, ranks in the top 10% of all TED Talks. She is the author of Our Best Work: Break Free from the 24 Invisible Norms That Limit Us (Amazon, Bookshop)*.

When bad behavior happens in an organization, it’s the job of the leader to address it. In this conversation, Nilofer and I explore the strategies and tactics that will help you do this with clarity and effectiveness.

Key Points

Bad behavior isn’t just “bad apples” – it’s also the organizational norms of “the barrel” that reinforce these behaviors.

Most management norms are not persuasive; they are persistent.

Begin by getting clarity on what’s acceptable and what’s not.

Interrupt behavior without escalation. Consider phrases like, “Ouch,” or “I don’t know if you mean to…” or, “Did you intend that to be hurtful?”

Culture is not defined by words on the wall—­it’s defined by what happens when someone crosses the line.

Ask everyone to enforce norms, not just the person who was harmed.

Resources Mentioned

Our Best Work: Break Free from the 24 Invisible Norms That Limit Us by Nilofer Merchant (Amazon, Bookshop)*

Interview Notes

Download my interview notes in PDF format (free membership required).

Related Episodes

The Way to Be More Coach-Like, with Michael Bungay Stanier (episode 458)

How to Respond Better When Challenged, with Dolly Chugh (episode 615)

Being Nice May Not Be Kind, with Graham Allcott (episode 767)

Discover More

Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic. To accelerate your learning, uncover more inside Coaching for Leaders Plus.