Coaching for Leaders

Aiko Bethea: Anchored, Aligned, Accountable

Aiko Bethea is the Founder and CEO of RARE Coaching & Consulting, a leadership development firm that partners with Fortune 100 companies, nonprofits, and global organizations to build accountable, values-driven cultures. She is listed as #3 on the list of Top Executive Coaches of 2026 by the Industry Leader and has spent over a decade coaching C-suite leaders across industries, and served previously as deputy director at the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation. She is the author of Anchored, Aligned, Accountable: A Framework for Transcending BS and Transforming Our Lives and Work (Amazon, Bookshop)*.

I have seen so many activities over the years to help leaders clarify their values. I have built some of them myself. And most of them, including the ones I’ve built, miss a big question: what do those values actually mean? In this conversation, Aiko and I explore that question in detail to help us all do a better job of staying grounded.

Key Points

In an era of information everywhere, it’s more challenging than ever to engage our inner awareness.

An anchor keeps a ship in place during the storm. Our values do the same for us as leaders.

Values aren’t just decorative. Simply naming a value doesn’t tell us much about what it means.

Explore the behaviors that come out of labels we use for values. Those behaviors help us better align with others – and ourselves.

A value label may mean one thing to one person and something entirely different to someone else. Curiosity will help you uncover what really matters to people.

Beware naming values that are simply aspirational. Instead, zero in on what is actually true for you.

Resources Mentioned

Anchored, Aligned, Accountable: A Framework for Transcending BS and Transforming Our Lives and Work by Aiko Bethea (Amazon, Bookshop)*.

Interview Notes

Download my interview notes in PDF format (free membership required).

Related Episodes

Leadership in the Midst of Chaos, with Jim Mattis (episode 440)

How to Discover What Others Value, with Joe Hart (episode 616)

The Way to Build Collective Power, with Ruchika T. Malhotra (episode 759)

Discover More

Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic. Go beyond the podcast to find the right ideas and apply them with confidence inside Coaching for Leaders Plus.

Academy alum Jen Quammen joins Dave to share how she prioritized showing up at her best when taking on a major leadership role.

Are you at an inflection point? Apply to the Coaching for Leaders Academy by Friday, September 11th.

Pam Manfredo Curtis: The Origin of a Leader

Pam Manfredo Curtis is an executive coach and Founder and President of Manfredo Curtis Associates. Her coaching approach involves mining the hearts and souls and childhoods of her CEO clients so they can reach their full potential—to lead authentically, to achieve extraordinary results, and to forge deep, emotional connections, both professionally and personally. She hosted SiriusXM’s Corner Office Confidential and is the author of The Origin of a Leader: Transforming Family Patterns into Leadership Power (Amazon, Bookshop)*.

All of us get blocked, and when we do, our tendency is to set aside or sometimes to run away from our emotions. Today’s guest invites us to do the exact opposite so we can actually tap into our leadership power. In this conversation, Pam and I explore how to learn more about yourself and to use that insight for good.

Key Points

A significant predictor of how you show up as a leader is your childhood.

As you learn about yourself, you realize that everyone else already knows these things about you.

Create an emotional timeline by drawing a line from birth to today and highlighting the highs and lows of your life’s events.

It’s significant what shows up on your timeline – and also how the length of the highs and lows relate to each other.

When you understand how childhood impacts your leadership and who you are as a human being, you see how it affects an essential need as a leader: power.

By creating a timeline, you will be motivated to change in positive ways, see connections you’ve never seen before, and have more empathy for yourself and others.

Resources Mentioned

The Origin of a Leader: Transforming Family Patterns into Leadership Power by Pam Manfredo Curtis (Amazon, Bookshop)*

Interview Notes

Download my interview notes in PDF format (free membership required).

Related Episodes

The Way to Be More Self-Aware, with Tasha Eurich (episode 442)

Discover Who You Are, with Hortense le Gentil (episode 459)

How to Discover Self-Awareness Through Enneagram, with Ian Morgan Cron (episode 605)

Discover More

Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic. Go beyond the podcast to find the right ideas and apply them with confidence inside Coaching for Leaders Plus.

Olivia Fox Cabane: The Charisma Myth

Olivia Fox Cabane is one of the world’s leading authorities on the science of charisma and the bestselling author of The Charisma Myth, which has been translated into 27 languages. Previously Director of Innovative Leadership for Stanford StartX, Olivia has lectured on charisma, leadership, and innovation at Harvard, Yale, MIT, the Marine War College and the United Nations. She has been featured in The New York Times, The Economist, and The Wall Street Journal and has recently released the revised version of The Charisma Myth: How Anyone Can Master the Art and Science of Personal Magnetism (Amazon, Bookshop)*.

Charisma. We all notice leaders who’ve got it. Many of us wish we had more of it. Good news though – like so many leadership skills we talk about on this podcast, you can get better at it. In this conversation, Olivia and I explore how almost anyone can improve their charisma.

Key Points

Charisma is a skill that you can learn and practice.

While some people have natural strengths for charisma more so than others, people are not simply born charismatic. Many just start young.

You don’t have to be naturally outgoing. You can be a very charismatic introvert.

Presence + Power + Warmth = Charisma

Power is the “Can you move mountains for me?” question. Warmth is the “Would you want to move them for me?” question. Presence is the “Are you aware of which mountains I need moved?” question.

A small amount of improvement can make a big difference on how you are perceived.

Three quick tips to improve your charisma:

Lower the intonation of your voice at the end of your sentences.

Reduce how quickly and how often you nod.

Pause for two full seconds before you speak.

Resources Mentioned

The Charisma Myth: How Anyone Can Master the Art and Science of Personal Magnetism by Olivia Fox Cabane (Amazon, Bookshop)*

Interview Notes

Download my interview notes in PDF format (free membership required).

Related Episodes

Six Ways to Recover From a Bad First Impression, with John Corcoran (episode 169)

The Way to Make Sense to Others, with Tom Henschel (episode 518)

How to Make a Better Impression on Camera, with Mark Bowden (episode 643)

Discover More

Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic. Go beyond the podcast to find the right ideas and apply them with confidence in Coaching for Leaders Plus.

Academy alum Dev Baldwin joins Dave to share how he leveraged the power of learning from peers.

Are you at an inflection point? Apply to the Coaching for Leaders Academy by Friday, September 11th.