Coaching for Leaders

Olivia Fox Cabane: The Charisma Myth

Olivia Fox Cabane is one of the world’s leading authorities on the science of charisma and the bestselling author of The Charisma Myth, which has been translated into 27 languages. Previously Director of Innovative Leadership for Stanford StartX, Olivia has lectured on charisma, leadership, and innovation at Harvard, Yale, MIT, the Marine War College and the United Nations. She has been featured in The New York Times, The Economist, and The Wall Street Journal and has recently released the revised version of The Charisma Myth: How Anyone Can Master the Art and Science of Personal Magnetism (Amazon, Bookshop)*.

Charisma. We all notice leaders who’ve got it. Many of us wish we had more of it. Good news though – like so many leadership skills we talk about on this podcast, you can get better at it. In this conversation, Olivia and I explore how almost anyone can improve their charisma.

Key Points

Charisma is a skill that you can learn and practice.

While some people have natural strengths for charisma more so than others, people are not simply born charismatic. Many just start young.

You don’t have to be naturally outgoing. You can be a very charismatic introvert.

Presence + Power + Warmth = Charisma

Power is the “Can you move mountains for me?” question. Warmth is the “Would you want to move them for me?” question. Presence is the “Are you aware of which mountains I need moved?” question.

A small amount of improvement can make a big difference on how you are perceived.

Three quick tips to improve your charisma:

Lower the intonation of your voice at the end of your sentences.

Reduce how quickly and how often you nod.

Pause for two full seconds before you speak.

Resources Mentioned

The Charisma Myth: How Anyone Can Master the Art and Science of Personal Magnetism by Olivia Fox Cabane (Amazon, Bookshop)*

Interview Notes

Download my interview notes in PDF format (free membership required).

Related Episodes

Six Ways to Recover From a Bad First Impression, with John Corcoran (episode 169)

The Way to Make Sense to Others, with Tom Henschel (episode 518)

How to Make a Better Impression on Camera, with Mark Bowden (episode 643)

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Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic. Go beyond the podcast to find the right ideas and apply them with confidence in Coaching for Leaders Plus.

Academy alum Dev Baldwin joins Dave to share how he leveraged the power of learning from peers.

Are you at an inflection point? Applications to the Coaching for Leaders Academy will open in the coming weeks. Visit the Coaching for Leaders Academy page to request an early application.

Simone Stolzoff: How to Not Know

Simone Stolzoff is an author and journalist who explores big questions about work, meaning, and identity. A former design lead at the global innovation firm IDEO, his work has been featured in The New York Times, The Atlantic, The Wall Street Journal, The Washington Post, and on the TED stage. He is the author of How to Not Know: The Value of Uncertainty in a World that Demands Answers (Amazon, Bookshop)*.

I’m not sure about you, but I very much dislike uncertainty. And yet, basically the job of leadership is to not only deal with it but to help others thrive in the midst of it. In this conversation, Simone and I explore how to build your tolerance for uncertainty so you can lead much more effectively.

Key Points

We love certainty and our tolerance for uncertainty is decreasing due to the internet, smartphones, and AI access.

Organizations with higher uncertainty tolerance tend to be more innovative and adaptable.

We assume unwavering confidence breeds credibility, when in fact, research shows that those who admit what they don’t know are perceived as more credible.

Professional athletes have the same threshold for pain but a higher pain tolerance. We can develop a similar tolerance for uncertainty.

Find your anchor points. By knowing the key boulders you can hang onto in a storm, you are vastly better able to weather uncertain times.

Build to learn. Progress depends on uncertainty.

Row through the fog. Maintain faith that you will discover the next step by continuing to row.

Sometimes what we feel is most uncertain is actually more certain than we realize.

Resources Mentioned

How to Not Know: The Value of Uncertainty in a World that Demands Answers by Simone Stolzoff (Amazon, Bookshop)*

Interview Notes

Download my interview notes in PDF format (free membership required).

Related Episodes

How to Lead Better Through Complexity, with Jennifer Garvey Berger (episode 613)

Notice Disruption and Innovate Through It, with Steve Blank (episode 761)

The Counterintuitive Secret to Creativity and Focus, with David Epstein (episode 789)

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Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic. To accelerate your learning, uncover more inside Coaching for Leaders Plus.

You’re invited to join Tom Henschel, Dave Stachowiak, and other listeners for dinner and an evening of conversation in Irvine, California on Tuesday, September 1st. Details and registration at coachingforleaders.com/dinner

Neal Schore: The 25th Hour

Neal Schore is the founder and CEO of 25th Hour Group, an executive coaching and leadership events firm. Previously, he served as the founder, president, and CEO of Triton Digital, a global technology, data, and services leader in the digital audio and podcast industry. He is the author of The 25th Hour: How to Thrive (And Gain Ridiculous

Amounts of Time) By Getting Out of Your Own Way (Amazon, Bookshop)*.

No productivity approach can negotiate with physics. How we manage time is really how we manage ourselves. In this conversation, Neal and I explore a key question to help us shift from ordinary to exceptional.

Key Points

Swirling shows up for all of us when we ruminate on an interaction in a way that’s not helpful.

Most people don’t think to ask about others’ intent.

The key question to shift our thinking: “What’s the intent?”

Ordinary thinking goes with the flow. Exceptional thinking pauses and allows us to consider the intent behind the interaction.

To free time each day, pause before responding in a complex situation and ask yourself, “What’s the intent?”

This question becomes powerful when you can ask and answer yourself without needing to say it out loud.

Resources Mentioned

The 25th Hour: How to Thrive (And Gain Ridiculous Amounts of Time) By Getting Out of Your Own Way by Neal Schore (Amazon, Bookshop)*

Interview Notes

Download my interview notes in PDF format (free membership required).

Related Episodes

How to Genuinely Show Up for Others, with Marshall Goldsmith (episode 590)

How to Help Difficult Conversations Go Better, with Sheila Heen (episode 655)

How to Take Back Your Evenings, with Guy Winch (episode 783)

Discover More

Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic. To accelerate your learning, uncover more inside Coaching for Leaders Plus.