The Dad Edge Podcast

This week I sat down with Shawn Bonneteau, the founder of Secret Habit Coaching, an inner child recovery specialist, and a certified professional mentor who helps Christian men break free from pornography and unwanted sexual behaviors. Since 2018 he has walked with men through more than 3,000 coaching sessions, and he has had nine years of freedom and sobriety after a 14 year struggle of his own.
We talk about the betrayal trauma a wife goes through, why clarity must come before strategy in recovery, and what Shawn calls the hungry heart beneath pornography addiction. He shares four sources for meeting those heart hungers, what to do after a relapse, and how to talk with your kids about sexuality through a thousand small conversations. If you want to understand what is really driving the struggle and become a leader of your own story, this one is for you.
 
Timeline Summary
[0:00] Introduction and the November promo: The Marriage Drift book, a signed Pursuit of Legendary Fatherhood, and two free courses
[4:25] Larry welcomes Shawn, a Canadian living in the Czech Republic with his wife and two daughters, with a third on the way
[9:22] Shawn's 14 year struggle with pornography, becoming a Christian at 22, and how his wife called him forward
[12:40] Two months into marriage, a relapse in the middle of the night, and the morning Shawn told his wife
[14:15] Helena's garden analogy: trust as a garden, and what she needed to see from Shawn
[22:24] Betrayal trauma: why it took two years for Helena to heal and why wives' healing gets so little attention
[28:32] Proverbs 4:23: why guarding your heart is not enough, and why everything you do flows from it
[31:41] Larry as the guinea pig: how stress and overwhelm point to powerlessness and a hunger for reassurance
[40:02] Why pornography promises to meet a hungry heart, and why using Scripture as a hammer falls short
[45:42] Four sources to meet your heart hunger, plus a premeditated plan for the red zone
[48:45] Why men hide from God in their shame, and why repentance is really about restoring intimacy
[51:23] Larry asks about reconciliation, and Shawn on confessing your sins to the Lord and to trusted men
[58:33] What to do after a relapse: ask what you felt was true instead of spiraling in shame
[60:37] Talking to your kids about sexuality through a thousand small conversations, starting with your own story
[64:55] Shawn's stance on masturbation without porn, and why intimacy begins outside the bedroom
[69:44] Where to find Shawn and his podcast, plus his free quiz on what your heart is hungry for
 
Key Takeaways
Being sober is not the same as being free, so get clear on the hunger underneath the behavior instead of only trying to quit.
Use your feelings as clues, because stress and overwhelm often point to feeling powerless, and what the heart needs then is reassurance.
Build a plan before you reach the red zone, drawing on four sources: God, other people, your own interests, and serving others.
Bring it into the light, because confessing to a trusted person restores intimacy, and after a relapse the best question is what you felt was true.
Learn your own story and have a thousand small conversations with your kids, while building the trust and safety your wife needs.
 
Links & Resources
Secret Habit (Shawn Bonneteau): https://secrethabit.ca
Dad Edge Alliance: https://thedadedge.com/join
Dad Edge Day at State Farm Stadium: https://thedadedge.com/nfl
Episode Page: https://thedadedge.com/1555
 
Closing
The part that stayed with me was Helena's garden, and how she told Shawn that trust is something you till and care for, not something you walk through while looking at other gardens. Shawn's reminder that stress, anxiety, and shame are clues pointing to what our hearts are hungry for gave me a new way to look at my own need for reassurance. If you are carrying something in secret, pick one trusted person this week and tell them the truth. Go out and live legendary.

This week I sat down with Rick Jordan, a self-made entrepreneur, CEO, keynote speaker, and host of Frequency with Rick Jordan. Rick went from financial struggles and nearly losing his home to building a company from the ground up and taking it public without outside investors or private equity, and he has made more than 1,200 media appearances on networks like Fox, Bloomberg, NBC, CBS, and ABC. He is also a dad of three, including twins.
We talk about his one word parenting philosophy, proximity, and how to connect with a teenager by entering their world. Rick shares the moment he stared up at a tornado and realized he had no regrets, losing his dad at 16, and the first six months of his business when his family was close to foreclosure. We get into self-examination, facing consequences, why "it's not that bad yet" can cost a man his marriage, and what it takes for a couple to keep growing together. If you want to live with no regrets as a husband and a father, this one is for you.
 
Timeline Summary
[0:00] Introduction and the November promo: The Marriage Drift book, a signed Pursuit of Legendary Fatherhood, and two free courses
[4:25] Larry welcomes Rick Jordan, and two dads compare notes on kids leaving for college and missing home
[9:33] Rick's one word parenting philosophy, proximity, and how he has kept it from newborn twins to age 19
[14:47] A client with four teenagers spends hardly any time with them, and the pedicure reframe: enter their world
[19:07] Larry drives six hours to see his son at Arkansas and spends the day on groceries, laundry, and football
[23:11] Rick watches a tornado form 150 feet from his studio and finds he has no regrets
[30:03] Self-examination: a Navy SEAL friend asks "is it true?" and why you own the facts without apology
[35:22] Rick loses his dad at 16, and the uncle who caught him outside the house and helped him accept it
[43:04] A grief expert's chair analogy: let the chair fall and let yourself feel the grief
[46:06] Best Buy layoffs, newborn twins, and a near foreclosure in 2007 before a first $3,000 a month deal
[50:30] Why Rick held out six months for the right clients and reached $250K a year in recurring revenue
[52:27] "It's not that bad yet": why men wait on their marriage until their options fall off the table
[57:43] Choose your hard: why facing consequences is the core of being a man and a dad
[59:57] If your partner is growing faster, it's on you to catch up, and on them to lift you up
[63:30] Falling in love with your spouse seven times, and why you can't go back to who you used to be
[65:29] Rick's closing challenge to face the consequences, plus where to find him and his show
 
Five Key Takeaways
Make proximity your parenting philosophy by staying close to your kids at every age, and ask what works for their schedule instead of demanding their time.
With teenagers, enter their world instead of pulling them into yours, like the dad who finally asked his daughter to go get a pedicure.
Practice regular self-examination by asking "is it true?" so you can own the facts, and remember that one bad moment doesn't define you, your response does.
Face the consequences instead of avoiding them, because "it's not that bad yet" lets your options in your marriage and your life quietly expire.
Keep growing with your spouse, and if you feel left behind, it's on you to catch up while your partner helps lift you up.
 
Links & Resources
Rick Jordan on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mrrickjordan
Dad Edge Alliance: https://thedadedge.com/join
Dad Edge Day at State Farm Stadium: https://thedadedge.com/nfl
The Dad Edge Podcast: https://thedadedge.com/1554
 
Closing
The moment that stuck with me most was Rick staring up into that tornado and realizing there was nothing he wanted to change, because he had spent his life intentionally with the people who matter most. His story about the uncle who caught him at 16 and his reminder that "it's not that bad yet" is a trap are the kind of honest lessons that help us choose our hard on purpose. Pick one thing from this conversation this week, maybe asking your teenager what their world looks like right now. Go out and live legendary.

This week I brought Sam Rosenberg back to the Dad Edge for a special Q&A with the guys in our Alliance. Sam is a former Marine Corps officer and the founder of Live Ready. He spent years protecting heads of state, CEOs, and celebrities, and he has trained tens of thousands of people to recognize threats before they become emergencies. I learned a ton from his first episode, so I wanted the men in our community to put their own questions in front of him.
We cover how to build situational awareness in your kids with a simple restaurant game, why "don't talk to strangers" gets it backwards, and what a young child should do if they get separated from you. Sam shares the sticky octopus drill, how to think about safety in a high conflict co-parenting situation, how to teach a teenage boy to de-escalate, how Krav Maga and jiu jitsu compare, and how to stay vigilant without making your family anxious. If you want to be the protector your family needs without living in fear, this one is for you.
 
Timeline Summary
[0:00] Introduction and the November promo: The Marriage Drift book, a signed Pursuit of Legendary Fatherhood, and two free courses
[4:12] Larry sets up a special Alliance Q&A with Sam Rosenberg of Live Ready, back after his first Dad Edge episode
[8:17] A dad with four kids under 13 asks how to help his children become more aware
[9:57] The restaurant game: find the emergency exit and the kitchen every time you sit down
[13:32] Why "don't talk to strangers" is backwards, and teaching kids to recognize strangeness instead
[15:03] Teaching kids to trust their gut, and letting them order at Starbucks to build confidence
[17:33] The simple rule if a child is separated from you: find a mother
[19:07] Common lures like the lost dog, then the sticky octopus drill and shouting "this is not my dad"
[23:31] A dad asks how to protect his boys in a high conflict co-parenting situation
[30:11] Teaching a 16 year old boy to protect himself, starting with de-escalation and keeping his ego in check
[32:15] A story of teenage boys who stepped in to help and were charged as mutually combative
[37:06] Krav Maga versus jiu jitsu for real world protection, and why the instructor matters most
[41:29] How to stay vigilant without making your wife and kids feel anxious
[45:25] The sheepdog analogy, and giving yourself procedures so you can relax
[49:58] Where to find Sam, plus his free book and online Radar course for Dad Edge listeners
[52:04] Closing thoughts and where to find the links from today's conversation
 
Key Takeaways
Turn situational awareness into a game with your kids, like asking them to find the exits and the kitchen every time you sit down at a restaurant.
Teach your kids to recognize strangeness and trust their gut instead of just "don't talk to strangers," and give them a simple plan to find a mother if they ever get separated from you.
Rehearse the lures and the drill with your kids, like the lost dog trick, the sticky octopus hold, and yelling "this is not my dad."
For a teenage boy, teach de-escalation first, invest in real training, and make sure he understands the legal side, because the goal is always to get out of the situation.
Replace anxiety with confidence by building your family's skills and giving yourself times to be switched on and times to relax.
 
Links & Resources
Live Ready (Sam Rosenberg): https://www.liveready.co/
Live Ready, the Book: https://www.liveready.co/book
Live Ready on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@LiveReadyCo
Sam Rosenberg's First Dad Edge Episode: https://thedadedge.com/1517
Dad Edge Alliance: https://thedadedge.com/join
Dad Edge Day at State Farm Stadium: https://thedadedge.com/nfl
The Dad Edge Podcast: https://thedadedge.com/1553
 
Closing
What I'll remember most from this conversation is how Sam turned safety into something kids can actually enjoy, from finding the kitchen exit at a restaurant to yelling "this is not my dad" in a game they'll want to play again. His answer about the dad who worried he was paranoid reminded me that vigilance and peace aren't opposites, and that the best protectors build confidence in their families instead of fear. Pick one thing to practice with your kids this week, maybe the restaurant exit game at your next meal. Go out and live legendary.

This week I'm doing something a little different. Instead of interviewing a guest, I'm replaying a conversation I had as the guest on Jake Kastleman's podcast. Jake runs No More Desire, a porn recovery platform, and we went deep on marriage, fatherhood, and learning to face our emotions instead of numbing them. I share the night I lost my temper with my four year old that led me to start the Good Dad Project, and why I now believe being a husband and a father are skills we can learn.
We get practical on connecting with your wife through empathy and validation, why replacing "why" with "tell me more" changes a conversation, and how to create psychological safety at home. I also share the lifeguard picture for staying steady when someone you love is upset, and the 12 days I spent alone after rupturing my patella tendon, refusing to numb anything out. If you're drifting in your marriage or want to show up better for your wife and kids, this one is for you.
 
Timeline Summary
[0:00] Introduction and the November promo: The Marriage Drift book, a signed Pursuit of Legendary Fatherhood, and two free courses
[6:31] Jake and Larry talk about The Pursuit of Legendary Fatherhood and the brand new audiobook Larry narrated himself
[8:32] Jake on the chapter two Christmas Eve story and how hard it hit him as a father
[12:45] Why only 12% of married couples can say their relationship is working
[14:27] The night Larry lost his temper with his four year old and started the Good Dad Project
[18:24] Why fatherhood and marriage are skills, with an instructor, a curriculum, and a community
[23:26] It's Not About the Nail and why men rush to fix instead of listen
[24:23] Empathy versus sympathy, and why one connects and the other disconnects
[29:02] Validate with one word emotions so she feels seen, heard, and safe
[30:34] The question to ask your wife: do you want me to listen or collaborate on solutions
[33:42] Replace "why" with "tell me more" so your wife feels invited instead of interrogated
[38:53] Psychological safety at home: shine the light on the situation, not the person
[47:21] The lifeguard picture: stay on the side of the pool instead of jumping into someone else's emotions
[52:49] Twelve days alone after a ruptured patella tendon and the choice to face every emotion
[58:03] Where to find Larry, the audiobook, and the Marriage Drift promo
[59:52] Larry's closing note on honesty and how to join the Dad Edge Alliance
 
Key Takeaways
Husbandhood and fatherhood are skills you can learn, so stop treating them like something you should already know.
When your wife is upset, she is usually after connection, not a solution, so listen first and ask whether she wants you to listen or collaborate.
Name the feeling in one word, like frustrated or overwhelmed, and say it about the situation instead of about her.
Replace "why" with "tell me more," because it opens the door instead of pointing a finger.
Stay steady like the lifeguard on the side of the pool, and don't try to fix someone's emotions just because they make you uncomfortable.
 
Links & Resources
No More Desire (Jake Kastleman): https://www.nomoredesire.com
Dad Edge Alliance: https://thedadedge.com/join
The Dad Edge Podcast: https://thedadedge.com/1565
 
Closing
The part of this conversation that stays with me is the lifeguard picture: you don't have to jump into someone else's emotional pool, you just stay steady and let them feel what they feel. I also think about those 12 days alone, when I chose to face everything that came up instead of numbing it, and how much shorter the road gets when you walk straight through it. Pick one thing from today, maybe asking your wife whether she wants you to listen or collaborate the next time she's frustrated. Go out and live legendary.

This week I sat down with Dr. Bradley Nelson, a holistic physician, USA Today bestselling author, and founder and CEO of Discover Healing, the creator of the Emotion Code, the Body Code, and the Belief Code. He's a father of eight, a grandfather of seven, and a great grandfather, and he opened with an incredible story about how his wife's first daughter, placed for adoption before they met, found them and was officially adopted into the family at 47.
We got into his newest book, The Heart Code, which he wrote with his wife Jean, and the idea of a heart wall that many of us build after painful experiences. Dr. Nelson shares his view on trapped emotions and the body, stories from his practice, and how emotional patterns can pass from one generation to the next. I also respectfully pushed back with my own 20 years in the operating room, and near the end I opened up about what I've been feeling as my 18 year old leaves for college. If you grew up in an unpredictable home and want to break the cycle for your kids, this one is for you.
 
Timeline Summary
[0:00] Introduction and the October Dad Edge Alliance promo: a signed book, two free courses, and an advance copy of The Marriage Drift
[3:05] Dr. Nelson on his family of eight kids, seven grandkids, and one great grandchild
[4:00] His wife's first daughter, placed for adoption before they met, finds them 18 years ago
[7:36] A faded whiteout on a birth certificate and a call to BYU help put the pieces together
[12:40] Dr. Nelson's background and his three systems: the Emotion Code, the Body Code, and the Belief Code
[16:59] Why Dr. Nelson sees symptoms as the check engine light, not the real problem
[18:17] Muscle testing as a way to communicate with the subconscious mind
[22:18] A waking vision in 1998 that led to the discovery of the heart wall
[28:01] A patient with severe low back pain and a trapped emotion of anger from 20 years earlier
[34:47] A nurse who swore off dating for eight years, and what happened after her heart wall was cleared
[38:29] Larry respectfully pushes back with his 20 years in the OR and thousands of spine surgeries
[50:16] Why emotional patterns repeat even when a dad promises himself he won't become his own father
[55:00] Unconditional love, and Dr. Nelson's own struggle with conditional love as a father
[57:18] Dr. Nelson's closing message to dads: slow down, because childhood goes by so fast
[1:00:11] Larry shares what he's feeling as his 18 year old leaves for college and what his therapist helped him see
[1:05:57] Where to find Dr. Nelson and the free video that walks you through releasing a trapped emotion
 
Key Takeaways
Dr. Nelson teaches that unresolved emotions can get trapped in the body, and that symptoms like pain can be messages pointing to something deeper.
The heart wall is Dr. Nelson's term for the protective wall many of us build after a painful experience, and he says it can make it harder to connect with your wife and kids.
If you ever hear your father's words come out of your own mouth after promising you never would, take it as a sign there may be old baggage you haven't dealt with yet.
Dr. Nelson shares that he loved his kids conditionally for a time, giving or withholding love to shape their behavior, and that unconditional love is what he now works toward.
Slow down and tell your wife and kids what they mean to you now, because time goes faster than you think and being willing to hear criticism and change is part of being a man.
 
Links & Resources
Dr. Bradley Nelson and Discover Healing: https://discoverhealing.com
The Heart Code: https://discoverhealing.com/the-heart-code-book/
Dad Edge Alliance (October Bonuses): https://thedadedge.com/join
Dad Edge Day at State Farm Stadium: https://thedadedge.com/nfl
The Dad Edge Podcast: https://thedadedge.com/1538
 
Closing
What stayed with me most was the moment at the end when I shared, for the first time on this show, how hard it has been watching my 18 year old leave for college, and how my therapist helped me see that it touches the old wound of the men who left me as a kid. Dr. Nelson's story about his own conditional love as a father reminded me that none of us does this perfectly, and that being willing to look at it honestly is what changes the next generation. Take a few minutes this week to slow down, tell someone you love what they mean to you, and ask yourself what you might be carrying that you haven't named yet. Go out and live legendary.