The Dad Edge Podcast

Larry Hagner and Joe sit down for a Wednesday Q&A the day after Larry's 51st birthday, and this one goes deep on marriage repair. Nick brought a raw, real question to the room: his wife has finally said she's willing to try to fix things and go to counseling, and he's scared. Scared to hope. Scared she doesn't mean it. Scared he'll lose himself in the process of trying to save the relationship.
What follows is one of those conversations that only happens when the guys in the room have actually lived it. Joe opens up about being what he calls a three-time marriage loser and a one-time marriage big winner, and he doesn't dress it up. He blew up three marriages before he learned the thing that changed everything: when you take your wife as your bride, you inherit all of her wounds, even the ones her father put there, even the ones you didn't create. Your job isn't to fix only the damage you did. Your job is to become sensitive to all of it, so she finally feels safe enough to lower the shields.
Then Larry brings in two tools that shift the whole frame. The first is vision, fast-forwarding the tape to a year from now and asking your spouse what you'd both be celebrating, because whatever we focus on grows and whatever we resist persists. The second is forgiveness, and here Larry shares the framework Father Stephen Gadberry gave him: forgiveness isn't a single conversation, it's a plant. You water it, you don't overwater it, and as it grows you keep pruning it. You forgive but you never fully forget, so you keep coming back to the conversation with curiosity instead of an attack.
If you're a man trying to rebuild trust in a marriage that's been hard for years, or you're carrying resentment you don't know how to put down, this episode gives you a real place to start. It's about consistency when you don't feel like it, owning wounds you didn't cause, and building a vision worth walking toward together.
 
Timeline Summary
[1:02] Larry opens the Wednesday Q&A the day after turning 51, and shares why his 50s beat his 40s
[1:19] The July birthday promotion breakdown: signed book, patience course, marriage course, and 50 conversation starters
[2:34] Joe comes on and speaks from the heart about getting a front row seat to Larry's last decade
[3:43] Nick asks his question after his wife agreed to try repairing the relationship and start counseling
[4:26] Larry points Nick back to the consistency and brotherhood that softened his wife in the first place
[5:30] Why real repair takes years not months, and why you keep going even without visible results
[6:19] Joe introduces himself as a three time marriage loser and one time big winner
[7:12] Nick admits he's responsible for about 90% of his wife's wounds, and Joe says he owns all of them
[8:11] The wisdom Joe was given: you inherit the wounds her father and others put in her heart
[9:01] Why women go into self preservation mode and how shields only drop when they feel safe
[10:02] Joe shares how his tone of voice was unknowingly triggering Ivy's father wounds
[10:54] Larry names Nick's real fear, that his wife is only saying the words to keep things civil
[15:00] Joe offers to talk with Nick personally about forgiveness and what it is and isn't
[16:06] Larry sets up the Father Stephen Gadberry forgiveness episode and who Gadberry is
[17:07] The vision exercise: fast forward to July 7th next year and ask what you'd be celebrating
[19:25] The forgiveness-as-a-plant framework: plant the seed, water it right, and keep pruning it
[23:49] Larry drops the line that lands hardest: what you criticize metastasizes, what you affirm multiplies
[24:38] Larry's real example of praising his oldest son over text and watching the good behavior grow
 
Five Key Takeaways
When you marry someone, you inherit all of their wounds, even the ones you didn't cause and the ones their parents left behind. Your job isn't to address only the damage you're responsible for. It's to become sensitive to all of it so she feels safe.
Real repair is built on consistency, not intensity. If things have been hard for three years, they won't turn around in three months, so you keep showing up and doing the work even when you don't feel like it and even when you don't see the softening yet.
Women stay guarded when they're in self preservation mode. The shields only come down when they feel safe with you around all of their wounds, so lead differently around the walls even when you didn't build them.
Stop fighting over the past and build a shared vision instead. Ask your spouse what you'd both be celebrating a year from now, because whatever you resist persists and whatever you focus on grows.
Forgiveness is a process, not a single conversation. Think of it like a plant you water, protect, and prune over time. You forgive but you never fully forget, so keep returning to the conversation with curiosity instead of an attack.
 
Links & Resources
Shownotes for this episode — https://thedadedge.com/1501
Join the Dad Edge Alliance (July promotion: signed book, patience course, marriage course, 50 conversation starters) — https://thedadedge.com/join
How to Forgive Someone Without Letting Them Off the Hook featuring Father Stephen Gadberry — https://thedadedge.com/how-to-forgive-someone-without-letting-them-off-the-hook-featuring-father-stephen-gadberry/
 
Closing
Nick came into this call scared to hope, and by the end he'd shown he was already doing the work: leading with vision, talking about letting old habits die, thinking in terms of pruning the plant instead of tearing it down. That's the whole thing right there. You don't rebuild a marriage by beating down the resentment. You build it by owning the wounds, staying consistent when it's hard, and affirming the good things you want to see multiply. If your marriage has been in a hard season, take Joe's challenge to heart, own all of it, and take Larry's, cast a vision worth walking toward together. Go out and live legendary.

My guest is Caitlin V, a sexologist and relationship coach who started out as a sexual health researcher and policy analyst before realizing that real change doesn't happen in research papers. It happens in honest conversations between real people. She's the host of Good Sex on HBO Max, her YouTube channel has reached hundreds of millions of people, and she's become one of the leading voices in men's sexual health, helping guys overcome erectile dysfunction, performance anxiety, premature ejaculation, and the isolation that comes with those struggles.
This conversation went places I didn't expect. Caitlin explains why the biggest roadblock in a couple's sex life isn't your partner, it's the gap between your expectations and reality. She breaks down why "why can't we have more sex" is almost never about sex, what women are actually attracted to in a man (the Indiana University smell study blew my mind), and why the way you do anything is the way you do everything. I also got personal about my own marriage, including why I quit porn years ago and the one question I asked my wife in our mudroom three months ago that changed how we think about intimacy.
If you and your wife have slipped into roommate mode, if the conversation about sex feels impossible to start, or if you want to rebuild attraction and connection after years of kids, schedules, and busyness, this episode is your roadmap back.
 
Timeline Summary
[1:02] Larry opens with an adult content disclaimer and celebrates episode 1500 landing on his 51st birthday after 11 years
[3:00] The single biggest roadblock in couples' sex lives, the painful gap between expectations and lived experience
[5:16] The performance expectations men carry into the bedroom, from lasting longer to frequency to technical skill
[10:11] Caitlin's first piece of advice for every man, start with your own relationship to sexuality before approaching your wife
[11:37] Why "why can't we have more sex" is really a request for closeness, connection, and feeling loved
[16:33] Caitlin's story, from sexual health researcher to sexologist and host of Good Sex on HBO Max
[20:13] Fact checking the viral claim that 50% of couples married three plus years haven't had sex in a year
[21:55] Why Gen Z is having less sex, porn access, dating app algorithms designed to keep you single, and Covid
[28:49] The Indiana University t-shirt study, why smell predicts attraction and how birth control changes desire
[36:37] What women actually find attractive in a man's body, hands, forearms, posture, and capability over six packs
[44:40] Why your solo sex life shapes your marriage, and Caitlin's snack versus whole meal analogy
[49:49] Larry opens up about quitting porn years ago and how it fixed his arousal issues and transformed intimacy
[53:37] Retraining your body without porn, why orgasm may take weeks to return, and why nobody fails to get there
[57:00] Escaping roommate syndrome, why sex was never actually spontaneous, and reclaiming the effort of courtship
[59:35] The intimacy spectrum beyond penetration, and Caitlin's personal story of healing pain through yoni massage
[1:06:09] The mudroom moment, how one question changed the way Larry and his wife connect after 23 years of marriage
 
Five Key Takeaways
The biggest obstacle in your sex life isn't your wife. It's the unspoken gap between what you expected sex to be and what it actually is, and the shame that keeps both of you from talking about it.

Never bring the conversation to her when it's burning hot. Do your own untangling first, figure out what you actually need underneath the request, and come with self-awareness and accountability instead of a demand.

How you care for your body is a proxy for how you care for everything. Your grooming, your hygiene, and your posture tell her more about who you are than a six pack ever will.

Don't show up to your wife starving. If she's the only source of meeting your needs, every approach carries desperation. Take care of yourself first and you'll come to her with something to give instead of something to take.

Sex is one point on a wide spectrum of intimacy. A shoulder massage, a hand in hand walk, or a deep conversation on the couch can keep you insanely connected without needing to lead anywhere.

 
Links & Resources
Caitlin V on YouTube — https://www.youtube.com/@caitlinvneal
Caitlin V's website with free yoni massage guide and courses — https://caitlinvneal.com
Erotic Blueprints playlist — search "Caitlin V blueprints" on YouTube
Join The Dad Edge Alliance in July to get a signed copy of The Pursuit of Legendary Fatherhood, both courses, and the 50 Intimate Conversation Starters PDF — https://thedadedge.com/join
This episode — https://thedadedge.com/1500
Closing
Fifteen hundred episodes, and this might be one of the most important conversations I've ever had on this show. When I stood in my mudroom and asked my wife "what type of intimacy would you be up for today," everything about how we connect shifted, and that's available to you too. Don't wait until it's burning hot to have this conversation, and don't settle for being roommates with the woman you married. Share this one with a brother who needs it. Go out and live legendary.

If you're trying to put the puzzle pieces of your marriage back together, or you're stuck in that roommate syndrome that drains the life out of a home, this replay is for you. I'm bringing back G.S. Youngblood, author of two bestselling books, The Masculine in Relationship and The Art of Embodiment for Men, because over the past couple of months I've gotten so many emails from men who are really, really struggling in their marriages. His work has come up again and again in our community, and he's even helped me with my own clients.
What I love about G.S. is that he lives in neither of the two extremes most men swing between. There's the ultimate nice guy who's disrespected, unappreciated, and quietly filled with resentment because his needs never get met, and there's the toxic, controlling, domineering guy on the other end. Neither one is attractive, and neither one leads. G.S. teaches what he calls relational masculinity, staying grounded in your masculine core while being deeply connected to your partner, and he lays out a three part blueprint any man can actually follow.
This was one of our top shows of the past year, and we get into the stuff that changes marriages. We talk about firm but loving parenting and why ruling by fear breaks down the relationship you'll want with your kids later. We talk about grounding your nervous system before you ever try to fix anything, and G.S. even walks me through a live embodiment exercise right there in my chair. And we get honest about sex, rejection, and the little hurt boy that shows up when we feel shut down.
G.S. was one of our speakers at the Men's Forge this past April, and he blew the doors off. I've read his book three times now. If you've been banging your head against the wall in your marriage, or you just want to understand why your wife can sniff out an agenda from a mile away, this conversation is going to give you clarity and probably piss you off a little at the same time, in the best way.
 
Timeline Summary
[1:02] Larry sets up the replay and why he's bringing G.S. Youngblood back for men struggling in their marriages
[3:00] The July promotion for the Alliance and Boardroom, with a hard stop on July 31st
[5:05] G.S. on his intense but loving childhood and how it polarized him into the good boy role
[7:36] Firm but loving parenting, and why he went the opposite direction with his own kids
[10:06] The energetic difference between "no" with an iron fist and "I love you, but no"
[11:15] Why ruling by fear gets compliance but breaks the free flowing relationship you want later
[14:05] Inner clarity comes first, and why nice guys chase external validation instead
[16:01] The daily embodiment practice G.S. installs with every man before anything else
[20:03] A day in the life of his grounding routine: ground connection, breathwork, movement, meditation
[22:41] Why embodiment sticks better than meditation, and a live exercise Larry does in his chair
[26:36] Curiosity, agenda, and how women sense the energetic plane men usually ignore
[31:21] The frozen "data file" picture men keep of their wives, and why the feminine is always changing
[34:31] Emotional safety as the foundation of sexual chemistry, and going for the cause not the symptom
[39:38] The Masculine Blueprint: respond versus react, provide structure, and create safety
[41:07] What to tell the man who says "I stay calm and she still pushes back"
[45:59] Provide structure without domination, and the clarity plus inclusion principle
[50:18] Larry's story of owning his need for sex without getting pissy, and how it landed for his wife
[53:02] Why sexual rejection feels like kryptonite, and owning your sexuality with power or humor
[58:02] The gift of reassurance from Larry's wife, and reframing rejection that isn't about you
[1:03:16] Leading your partner toward arousal by getting her back into her body
[1:04:35] Where to find G.S.: his bootcamp, workshops, Instagram, and book
 
Five Key Takeaways
Lead your family with firmness and heart at the same time, not with an iron fist and not with a loose "anything goes" structure. You can be powerful, clear, and unyielding while staying in your heart, and that artful blend is what your kids and your wife actually need.
Before you try to fix anything in your marriage, ground your nervous system with a daily embodiment practice. When you're triggered, you make regressed, reactive decisions, but when you bring your awareness back into your body and into the present moment, the fight in front of you isn't nearly as scary as your nervous system claims.
Stop pounding on the symptoms and go find what's underneath. When a good woman is chronically prickly, critical, or shut down sexually, it's usually because a need isn't being met or a wound never got addressed, and your job as a man is to lead the way back to connection rather than blame her mood.
You may or may not be the problem, but you are the solution. Stop trying to figure out who caused the fight and step up to be bigger than her mood, because taking ownership of the repair is what masculine leadership actually looks like.
Rejection around sex feels like kryptonite, but going into your little hurt boy and pouting is deeply unattractive to your wife. Own your sexuality with calm power or playful humor, remember that a "no" often has nothing to do with you, and know that her desire can live just below the surface waiting for connection to bring it up.
 
Links & Resources
Episode 1499 show notes: https://thedadedge.com/1499
Join The Dad Edge Alliance and Boardroom (July promotion): https://thedadedge.com/join
The Dad Edge Boardroom mastermind (apply and book a call): https://thedadedge.com/mastermind
G.S. Youngblood's website and bootcamp: https://gsyoungblood.com
G.S. Youngblood on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/gsyoungblood
 
Closing
Go back to the moment in this episode where I told G.S. about my wife looking me dead in the eye and saying, "Larry, it's never you." I had spent years viewing every "not tonight" through a lens of personal rejection, and that one piece of reassurance changed how I show up. That's the whole point of this work. You are not the toxic iron fist guy and you are not the resentful nice guy, you're a man learning to lead with a straight spine and a big heart. If this episode shook something loose for you, share it with a brother who's been quietly banging his head against the wall in his own marriage, and go grab the July promotion at thedadedge.com before it's gone on July 31st. Go out and live legendary.

This is a marriage and fatherhood Q&A episode of The Dad Edge with Larry Hagner and Joe, recorded as Larry rolls his June birthday promotion into July ahead of his 51st. It's a quieter, more vulnerable episode than most. Two members brought real questions, and both answers turned into something close to a masterclass on leading at home without resentment.
Rich opened up about a marriage that's been struggling for a couple of years. He and his wife have started reconnecting, but he feels the load is one-sided. He's carrying the household, the kids, two jobs, and the role of primary parent, while she's drawing a line on how much she's willing to change. Joe's answer reframed the whole problem. Stop compromising, he said, because compromise has regret baked into it. Lead instead. He shared how he and Ivy split their money, how he trained himself to notice the socks on the floor she'd notice, and why an underlying resentment will sabotage everything no matter how well you execute the plan.
Then Larry delivered what Joe called a freaking masterclass on the difference between expectations and boundaries, the thing 95% of the men he coaches get backwards. An expectation is a clearly communicated request you then release because you don't control the other person. A boundary is the part you own and enforce on yourself. He walked Rich through actual language, leading with structure, owning specific responsibilities, and turning a fight into a collaboration. The line that landed: uncommunicated expectations breed resentment.
The second half got personal fast. Jason Grace, a leader in the Alliance who runs the divorce group, asked about the gap between being ready for a new stage of fatherhood and being willing to step into it. His daughter just graduated and is leaving for an equestrian science program in Virginia. Both Larry and Joe are living the same thing right now. Larry's son leaves for the University of Arkansas on August 6th, and he choked up describing the 5.5-hour campfire conversation they shared on a recent trip. Joe read Psalm 127 and the picture of children as arrows, the archer deciding how he launches them into the world. If you've got a kid getting close to leaving, or a marriage where you feel like you're carrying it alone, this one is for you.
 
Timeline Summary
[1:01] Larry welcomes July, turns 51, and extends his birthday promotion with a hard stop on July 31st
[3:06] Joe checks in from a new location mid-move, and the hosts set up the marriage and fatherhood themes
[4:04] Rich asks for help with a marriage that feels one-sided on compromises, budgeting, and household responsibilities
[7:23] Joe makes the case against compromising because regret is baked into it, and reframes the answer as leading
[9:25] How Joe and Ivy handle money with separate accounts and real trust instead of monitoring every dollar
[12:48] Joe on the socks he trained himself to notice and paying attention to what matters to your wife
[14:39] Why underlying resentment is the biggest turnoff and will sabotage how you lead at home
[16:24] Larry breaks down the difference between expectations and boundaries that 95% of men get backwards
[18:38] The clean room example showing why clarity beats assuming people should just know
[20:16] Larry gives Rich exact language to open the conversation without it landing as an attack
[21:35] How to lead with structure by owning specific responsibilities and inviting your wife to collaborate
[24:27] Joe warns against tying too much to one conversation and shares the expectancy versus expectations idea
[27:17] Larry asks Jason Grace about the gap between readiness and willingness as kids hit new stages
[29:06] Larry talks through his son leaving for Arkansas on August 6th and the 5.5-hour campfire conversation
[36:14] Joe reads Psalm 127 and the picture of children as arrows the archer launches into the world
[40:18] The real readiness question is whether you've made your kids ready, and why it's never too late
 
Five Key Takeaways
Stop compromising and start leading. Compromise has regret built into it, so instead of giving something up and quietly resenting it, decide what your household needs and choose to lead in that area.
Resentment leaks out no matter how well you execute. Your wife can sense your discontent through your body language and energy, so address the underlying resentment before you ever try to change the dynamic at home.
Expectations and boundaries are not the same thing. An expectation is a request you communicate clearly and then release because you don't control the other person, while a boundary is the part you own and enforce on yourself.
Uncommunicated expectations breed resentment. Don't assume your partner should just see how much you're doing and step up, because adults need to hear things at least three times, and it's on you to communicate clearly and calmly.
You'll never be fully willing to let your kids go, so focus on whether you've made them ready. The readiness that matters isn't yours, it's whether you've given your kids the tools, the faith, and the foundation to face the world and pick themselves back up when they fall.
 
Links & Resources
Join The Dad Edge Alliance (July promotion with signed book, two courses, and bonus PDF): https://thedadedge.com/join
50 Intimate Conversation Starters PDF: https://thedadedge.com/kidquestions
Episode 1498 show notes: https://thedadedge.com/1498
 
Closing
If today hit home, it's probably because you're living one of these seasons right now, whether that's feeling like you're carrying your marriage alone or watching a kid get close to leaving the nest. Go back to the moment Larry described sitting at that campfire until 12:26 a.m., having the longest and best conversation he's ever had with his son, and ask yourself where you can create that kind of connection this month. Don't lose the battle for someone's heart just to win an argument, and don't wait until the last few years, because they fly by faster than anything. Share this episode with a dad or a husband who needs to hear it, and if the show keeps adding value to your life, follow, rate, and leave a review so more men can find it. Go out and live legendary.

Charles Gaudet built his first multi-million dollar business at 24 years old while battling severe learning disabilities, survived a hospitalization in his early twenties after working from 3:30am until midnight seven days a week, and has since helped clients across six, seven, eight, and nine figure businesses generate over $1 billion in combined revenue. Yahoo Finance nicknamed him the CEO Whisperer, his work has been featured in Forbes and Fox Business, and he hosts the Beyond Seven Figures podcast. But none of that is what makes this conversation worth your time.
What makes this episode worth your time is Charles sitting down with Larry and being completely honest about the phone call his dad made in the final weeks of his life, offering to give up everything he had ever made just to spend more time with his kids and grandkids. That one moment reframed everything Charles thought he knew about success, hard work, and what a father is actually building toward. If you have ever worn your busyness like a badge, this one is going to hit you somewhere important.
Charles is a husband of 24 years to his wife Heather, a father of three, a CEO coach to some of the most successful entrepreneurs in the world, and a man who learned the hard way that working harder is not the same as building something that lasts. This is Episode 1497 of the Dad Edge.
Charles Gaudet went from a kid selling construction paper art door to door at age four to coaching billionaires in boardrooms, and the thread connecting all of it is the same lesson a neighbor named Mrs. Hersey gave him when he was mortified: always bring your best.
Timeline Summary
[1:02] Larry opens with a June-only Alliance offer including a signed copy of his book, a patience course, and 50 intimate conversation starters
[3:07] Charles explains how Yahoo Finance dubbed him the CEO Whisperer and why asking the questions nobody else will ask is his edge
[4:40] The boardroom moment with the CEO of a $34 billion company and why Charles was the only person in the room willing to challenge him
[8:03] Charles tells the story from the US Army War College: a five-star general who couldn't figure out why they kept losing a battle until he asked the lowest-ranking soldier on the ground
[13:26] The phone call from his dad in the final weeks of his life: "I would give up everything I've ever made just to spend more time with you and the grandkids"
[17:29] Growing up barely seeing his dad, the pillow and blankets by the front door, and starting his first business at age four just to get his dad's attention
[20:29] Selling construction paper art door to door as a kid and the lesson Mrs. Hersey gave him that shaped every standard he has held himself to since
[23:07] Charles teaching his son the difference between being an employee and owning a business using a lemonade stand, and watching his son at 19 reach a multi-million dollar valuation
[28:16] Working 3:30am to midnight seven days a week, not eating, not sleeping, and landing in the emergency room at 22 with his organs shutting down
[41:32] The diving board principle: the further it bends, the higher you spring, and why gratitude became Charles's superpower when resistance shows up
[45:29] Charles's dad competing against him instead of cheering for him, and why Charles chose a completely different approach with his own kids
[47:35] What it means to be the shoulders your kids stand on, matching his son dollar for dollar on a car, and why making it easier is not always making it better
[52:55] How Charles and Heather built a marriage strong enough to last by having the hard conversation about honesty before they were even fully exclusive
[1:02:26] The distinction between being rich and being wealthy, and the mic drop moment when Charles's son told him exactly why their family has the highest quality of life he knows
[1:07:32] Why a loud house means happy kids and what it looks like to build a home people actually want to come back to
Five Key Takeaways
The people who give you the most honest feedback are the most valuable people in your life. Whether it is a 10-year assistant, a lowest-ranking soldier, or a neighbor who tells a four-year-old his artwork is not worth $0.50, the person willing to tell you the truth is the one who actually helps you grow.

Hustle culture is using the wrong scorecard. Working hard and working until midnight are not goals. The question is what outcome you are actually working toward, and whether the sacrifices you are making are getting you closer to the life you want or further from it.

Resistance is not a sign that something is going wrong. It is usually a sign you are about to break through to a new level. Charles uses gratitude as a tool to stay in his own power rather than giving it away to circumstances he cannot control.

Your kids do not need you to make everything easy for them. They need you to build the shoulders they can stand on. The goal is to help them become healthier, wealthier, and happier than you, not to protect them from the lessons that would get them there.

True wealth is not measured by the bank account. It is measured by the quality of your life. When Charles asked his son how he would rate their family's quality of life, his son said they had the highest of anyone he knew, because he actually wanted to spend time with his parents.

Links & Resources
Predictable Profits — https://www.predictableprofits.com
Beyond Seven Figures Podcast — search "Beyond Seven Figures" on your podcast app
Follow Charles Gaudet on Instagram and LinkedIn — @CharlesGaudet
Dad Edge Episode 1497 Show Notes — https://www.thedadedge.com/1497
Join the Dad Edge Alliance — https://www.thedadedge.com/join
Kid Questions Resource — https://www.thedadedge.com/kidquestions
Closing
Charles Gaudet sat in a boardroom with the CEO of a $34 billion company and asked the question no one else in the room was willing to ask. He built companies, lost his health, nearly lost his mind, and then got a phone call from his dying father that reframed everything. And somehow, in the middle of all of it, he figured out how to be the kind of dad whose kids say they want to spend more time with him than anyone they know. That is the whole game right there. Share this episode with a man in your life who is still confusing busyness with progress. He needs to hear it. Subscribe, leave a review, and help other dads find the show. Go out and live legendary.