This week on The Shadows We Cast, my sisters, Kate and Teresa, and I return for Part 3 of our story — the chapter where things began to change. After years of boundaries, heartbreak, and distance, our mom started to seek real, consistent help. It wasn’t a sudden transformation. It was slow, uneven, and at times, fragile. But it was the beginning of something new.In this conversation, we talk about the earliest signs of her recovery and what it looked like to slowly let her back in — not just into our lives, but into our trust. We share moments that felt healing, moments that tested us, and how her role as a grandmother became the unlikely bridge back to connection.There’s grief here — for what never was — but also so much beauty in what we found when we stopped trying to hold everything together and started meeting her where she was. We weren’t trying to fix her — we were simply hoping she’d choose help. And when she finally did, something in all of us shifted, too.Host & Producer: Jenn St JohnEditor: Andrew SchillerWebsite: www.jennstjohn.caFollow along:Instagram: @jenn_stjohnTikTok: @jenn.st.johnLinkedIn: Jenn St JohnBlueSky: @jennstjohn.bsky.social If this episode spoke to you, share it with someone who might need to hear it too. Subscribe, leave a review, or just send a little love—your support helps these conversations reach the people who need them most.
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54:31
Matrescence
What if becoming a mother wasn’t just a life event — but a radical transformation of self?This week on The Shadows We Cast, Jenn sits down with Jessie Harrold — doula, coach, author, and founder of Imaginalia — to explore the complex and rarely named process of matrescence. Like adolescence, matrescence is a profound identity shift that touches every layer of our being: emotional, physical, spiritual, and cultural. And yet… we’re barely talking about it.Together, they unpack:· What matrescence actually is — and why we all need language for it· Why radical change often begins with grief· How to “mythologize” your story rather than pathologize your pain· What Jessie calls the “gooey middle” — the messy, necessary in-between of identity transformation· Why small practices, like Jessie’s “Five Things” check-in, can become lifelines through transitionThis episode touches on the thresholds we all cross: motherhood, menopause, grief, healing, and the quiet reckoning of asking, Who am I now? Whether you’re navigating change yourself or supporting someone who is, this conversation offers insight, compassion, and the reminder: you’re not broken. You’re becoming.Learn more about Jessie and her work at www.jessieharrold.com, and follow her on Instagram @jessie.es.harrold.Host & Producer: Jenn St JohnEditor: Andrew SchillerWebsite: www.jennstjohn.caFollow along:Instagram: @jenn_stjohnTikTok: @jenn.st.johnLinkedIn: Jenn St JohnBlueSky: @jennstjohn.bsky.social If this episode spoke to you, share it with someone who might need to hear it too. Subscribe, leave a review, or just send a little love—your support helps these conversations reach the people who need them most.
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46:27
Blueprint
What if the way you love, fight, avoid, or people-please wasn’t a personality flaw—but a survival blueprint?In this episode, I sit down with trauma-informed therapist Laura Fess, founder of VOX Mental Health, for a powerful conversation about what really happens to our nervous system when we grow up in survival mode—and how those early patterns shape our adult relationships, attachment styles, and mental health.We explore:• How survival mode wires the brain for hypervigilance• What anxious, avoidant, and disorganized attachment really look like in adulthood• The neuroscience behind healing, storytelling, and post-traumatic growth• Why unlearning old patterns isn’t failure—it’s neuroplasticity• The quiet, resilient power of hope—and how to let it driveI also share a journal entry from when I was 15, written during a pivotal turning point in my family’s story. It’s conflicted and searching, filled with the kind of quiet hope that surfaces when you're desperate for change but not sure it will come.It’s vulnerable, reflective, and the perfect opening to this layered conversation about pain, healing, and how we can slowly carve new paths—machete in hand—toward something different.If your story includes trauma, survival mode, or the long journey of trying to feel safe again, this one is for you.🔗 Connect with VOX Mental Health:• Instagram• LinkedIn• FacebookHost & Producer: Jenn St JohnEditor: Andrew SchillerWebsite: www.jennstjohn.caFollow along:Instagram: @jenn_stjohnTikTok: @jenn.st.johnLinkedIn: Jenn St JohnBlueSky: @jennstjohn.bsky.social If this episode spoke to you, share it with someone who might need to hear it too. Subscribe, leave a review, or just send a little love—your support helps these conversations reach the people who need them most.
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56:07
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56:07
Shift
In this final chapter of our second sister series, my sisters Kate, Teresa, and I reflect on the slow, complicated shift—the one that happened in our mother’s final years, and the one we had to make in ourselves to survive and heal.We talk about what it was like to be adults with a mother still deep in the storm of untreated mental illness and addiction, and how we eventually found our way to firmer ground. We explore the boundaries we had to set, the pain of waiting for change, and the quiet hope that crept in when she finally began to seek help. She didn’t become someone new—but she did begin to come home to herself.This episode is about recognizing the moments when something begins to shift—internally and externally. It’s about separating a person from their illness. About forgiving without an apology. And about choosing to heal, even when the past still echoes.If you’ve ever loved someone who struggled, or if you’ve felt stuck in a story that wasn’t changing, this conversation is for you.Host & Producer: Jenn St JohnEditor: Andrew SchillerWebsite: www.jennstjohn.caFollow along:Instagram: @jenn_stjohnTikTok: @jenn.st.johnLinkedIn: Jenn St JohnBlueSky: @jennstjohn.bsky.social If this episode spoke to you, share it with someone who might need to hear it too. Subscribe, leave a review, or just send a little love—your support helps these conversations reach the people who need them most.
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47:53
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47:53
Boundary
In this powerful follow-up to last week’s episode, we continue our sister series exploring early adulthood after growing up with a parent facing untreated mental illness and addiction. This chapter focuses on the emotional impact of setting boundaries with our mother—while becoming parents ourselves.I’m joined by my sisters, Kate and Teresa, as we share personal stories of trauma, family estrangement, childhood emotional neglect, and the moment each of us realized we couldn’t protect our mother and protect our children at the same time. We talk about the ripple effects of living with someone who struggled with mental illness, substance use, and unresolved trauma—and how we each made the painful but necessary choice to break the cycle.We also explore how those early experiences shaped our mental health journeys and led us into careers in social work, child protection, and community-based care. This conversation touches on trauma-informed parenting, mother-daughter boundaries, family systems, and healing from generational dysfunction.It’s an honest, emotional, and ultimately empowering episode about reclaiming agency, redefining family, and choosing something healthier—one decision at a time.Host & Producer: Jenn St JohnEditor: Andrew SchillerWebsite: www.jennstjohn.caFollow along:Instagram: @jenn_stjohnTikTok: @jenn.st.johnLinkedIn: Jenn St JohnBlueSky: @jennstjohn.bsky.social If this episode spoke to you, share it with someone who might need to hear it too. Subscribe, leave a review, or just send a little love—your support helps these conversations reach the people who need them most.
Welcome to The Shadows We Cast—a podcast about the legacies we inherit, the stories we carry, and the light we create in the process.Hosted by mental health advocate, writer, and speaker Jenn St. John, this series opens the door to raw and real conversations about living through, loving through, and learning from mental health challenges.In this short preview, Jenn shares what listeners can expect each week: deeply personal stories, journal readings, candid interviews with guests ranging from family members to public figures, and a commitment to unmasking mental health—one brave conversation at a time.If you've ever felt like you were navigating the dark without a map, this podcast is here to say: you're not alone. Let’s talk about the shadows—and the adaptability that rises from them.New episodes drop every Tuesday.Host & Producer: Jenn St JohnEditor: Andrew SchillerWebsite: www.jennstjohn.caFollow along:Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jenn_stjohn/TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@jenn.st.johnLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jenn-st-john-25b137257/BlueSky: https://bsky.app/profile/jennstjohn.bsky.socialIf this episode spoke to you, share it with someone who might need to hear it too.Subscribe, leave a review, or just send a little love—your support helps these conversations reach the people who need them most.
Canada - english