Bare Marriage

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Who's carrying the mental and emotional load when it comes to sex? Today Keith and I are breaking down all the ways evangelical marriage culture places that burden almost entirely on women: from appearance standards and contraception to performing passion on demand and suppressing her own emotions so his experience stays comfortable. We are listening to sermon clips and reading quotes from bestselling Christian marriage books that are pretty hard to hear, but really important to call out for the harm they cause to women (and marriage).
We are also talking about what we all actually want — a sex life rooted in real intimacy, where both people get to show up with everything they are.

TO SUPPORT US: 
Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work (and get access to the book club!)
And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!
Give to the Good Fruit Faith Initiative of the Bosko Foundation
Join our email list!
LINKS MENTIONED: 
The Orgasm Course and The Husband’s Edition
Starter Pack Podcasts on Making Sex Feel Great

Support the show
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!

Check out her books:
The Great Sex Rescue 
She Deserves Better
The Marriage You Want and the Study Guide
 The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
 and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex
And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!

Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

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Finding a healthy church after being hurt is hard — especially when toxic churches have learned to hide what they really believe. This week, Rebecca and I walk you through our evidence-based, step-by-step method for evaluating a church's website before you ever step through the door. From homepage vibes to staff pages, statement of beliefs to membership covenants, we'll show you exactly what to look for — and what to run from.
We're also sharing real examples from actual church websites, some of them from well-known names you'll recognize, so you can train your eye to spot the difference between a church that genuinely welcomes you and one that just wants to slot you into a hierarchy. And we're connecting it all to our brand-new peer-reviewed study on internalized modesty messaging — because finding a healthy church isn't just nice to have. For girls especially, it can make all the difference.
GET OUR TEMPLATE to Vet Your Church's Website
TO SUPPORT US: 
Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work (and get access to the book club!)
And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!
Give to the Good Fruit Faith Initiative of the Bosko Foundation
Join our email list!
LINKS MENTIONED: 
Our article about risk of sexual harassment in the Scientific Study of Religion Journal
Support the show
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!

Check out her books:
The Great Sex Rescue 
She Deserves Better
The Marriage You Want and the Study Guide
 The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
 and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex
And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!

Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Send us Fan Mail
A close look at how Every Man’s Battle ignores the impact of predation on women and girls–and is just plain creepy! Plus a new study on hostile/benevolent sexism when it comes to tradwife content. It’s our podcast and Friday RoundUp in one!

Our podcast we wanted to air this week just wasn’t ready in time–so we decided to record our Friday RoundUp a day early, and run it as this week’s podcast. So if you’re used to listening to our podcast, remember that on YouTube every week we also have a 20 minute unfiltered, unscripted Friday Roundup!

TO SUPPORT US: 
Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work (and get access to the book club!)
And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!
Give to the Good Fruit Faith Initiative of the Bosko Foundation
Join our email list!
LINKS MENTIONED: 
Our post on the two Every Man’s Battle excerpts
The Facebook post people were commenting on
The article on the new tradwife study
Our download on the problems with Every Man’s Battle
Our download on the problems with Every Young Man’s Battle
Subscribe to our YouTube channel so you don't miss all the regular Friday roundups!

Support the show
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!

Check out her books:
The Great Sex Rescue 
She Deserves Better
The Marriage You Want and the Study Guide
 The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
 and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex
And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!

Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Send us Fan Mail
Keith and Rebecca are taking over the podcast this week and are answering your questions — from how to find a healthy church community to whether complementarianism is a dealbreaker. They're refreshingly honest and a little funny about it. Then Joanna joins to dig into a brand-new peer-reviewed paper on how internalized modesty messaging affects girls' self-esteem and their risk of being sexually harassed in church as minors. What they found is both unsurprising and deeply sobering: environments that emphasize modesty messaging don't just harm girls, they actually groom boys into predatory behavior. It's research that needs to get out of their little corner of the internet and into the broader conversation, and your support made it possible.
TO SUPPORT US: 
Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work (and get access to the book club!)
And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!
Give to the Good Fruit Faith Initiative of the Bosko Foundation
Join our email list!
LINKS MENTIONED: 
Love & Respect Docuseries
Book suggestions from Rebecca: Mistborn Series by Brandon Sanderson
Project Hail Mary - Andy Weir
Shattered Sea Trilogy - Joe Abercrombie
Farseer Trilogy - Robin Hobb
(Join The Patreon for our great book club for more!)
Support the show
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!

Check out her books:
The Great Sex Rescue 
She Deserves Better
The Marriage You Want and the Study Guide
 The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
 and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex
And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!

Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Send us Fan Mail
What does it mean to have realistic expectations of a spouse with ADHD? How does gender play into how ADHD impacts a relationship? And what do accommodations actually look like—versus what do they not look like in a healthy marriage?
This week Rebecca talks about her own diagnosis of ADHD with her father Keith (a pediatrician) and good friend Daniel Forsythe (a licensed psychotherapist who works with neurodiverse marriages frequently) to dig down to discuss what the evidence actually says is possible, the risk of “caregiver burnout”, and more as Rebecca picks the brains of the actual professionals so we can all land in an evidence-based place!
THANKS TO OUR SPONSOR:
To Heal or Harm: Scripture's Use as Poison or Medicine for Abuse Survivors by Dr. Steven Tracy. How to refute it when Bible verses are weaponized!
TO SUPPORT US: 
Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work (and get access to the book club!)
And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!
Give to the Good Fruit Faith Initiative of the Bosko Foundation
Join our email list!
LINKS MENTIONED: 
Study regarding impact of ADHD on women versus men in adulthood
Write-up on how we falsely believe that ADHD is easier on women
Study on how a messy home impacts women versus men’s social standing and who we intrinsically believe is “responsible” for cleaning
The Marriage You Want book
Is It You, Me, or Adult ADHD? 
A more therapeutic book about counselling practices for marriages working with ADHD: 
Support the show
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!

Check out her books:
The Great Sex Rescue 
She Deserves Better
The Marriage You Want and the Study Guide
 The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
 and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex
And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!

Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.