You Make Sense

Ever wonder why you keep choosing the same kind of partners? Sarah breaks it all down in this episode. She’s going to teach you how your nervous system is the one doing the matchmaking, drawing on your early childhood experiences to inform the way you show up in your adult relationships. Whether it’s romantic partnerships, friendships, or work dynamics, you’ll learn how to begin changing old patterns that no longer serve you.Many of us choose our partners out of a need for survival rather than from a place of choice. Sarah will give you powerful somatic tools to begin creating a new internal baseline for what love is, so that you can transform your relationships and step toward the secure attachments you’re desiring.Episode Highlights00:00 Intro00:17 Why We Choose the Partners that We Choose03:30 Your Early Childhood Experiences Lay the Blueprint07:30 The Threat Detector Picks Up On Subtle Cues10:16 Love From Choice or Love From Survival?14:39 Healthy Love Isn’t Infatuation19:21 Creating an Internal Secure Attachment21:25 Our Reactions Always Match Some Circumstance27:29 Developing the Ability for Self-Regulation31:43 We Can be a Combination of Different Attachment Styles37:00 Building Connection When Feeling IsolatedTake Sarah’s FREE Quiz:Ready to learn more about your nervous system specific to you? Take Sarah’s free quiz, “What’s Keeping You Stuck?”, for personalized tools to regulate your nervous system and step toward the life you’re desiring. Get started below.https://bit.ly/yms-sp-quizConnect with Sarah on:Website - https://www.sarahbaldwincoaching.com/Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/sarahbcoaching/Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/Sarahbaldwincoaching/Submit a Question:https://sarahbaldwin1.typeform.com/podcastImportant Keywords:Autonomic Nervous System - The body’s internal network that controls responses to stimuli and regulates our experiences of safety, fear, and connection. In the context of relationships, it drives automatic reactions based on past experiences stored in our internal "database."Neuroception - A subconscious process through which the nervous system detects safety or threats in our environment. It plays a key role in determining who we are drawn to in relationships, often based on past relational patterns.Attachment - Refers to the emotional bond we form with others, shaped by early relationships, particularly with caregivers. Our attachment style influences how we relate to others.Parts Work - A therapeutic process focused on identifying and healing the different "parts" of ourselves that were wounded in the past. It helps us reparent those parts and create internal safety, allowing us to make healthier relationship choices.Internal Safety - The feeling of security and stability that comes from within, rather than from external validation or relationships. Cultivating internal safety helps reduce anxiety and allows for more balanced, healthy relationships.Healing Work - The ongoing process of addressing past traumas and emotional wounds to create lasting change in our relational patterns and lives.Relationship Patterns - Recurring behaviors and dynamics that emerge in our relationships, often based on unresolved past experiences. Recognizing and changing these patterns is key to fostering healthier connections.

Ready to take a deep dive into understanding your relationships? Sarah breaks down the connection between Polyvagal Theory and Attachment Theory, explaining how your autonomic nervous system shapes the way you show up in your romantic partnerships, friendships, family, job, finances, and more. Healing attachment wounds isn’t something you can simply “talk” your way into—it must be addressed somatically at the nervous system level.Through relatable examples, you’ll learn about the different attachment styles—anxious, avoidant, and disorganized—and how each one is a brilliant, adaptive response to our early childhood experiences. Whether you're stuck in difficult patterns or seeking a deeper understanding of your relationships, this episode is packed with actionable tools to guide you toward an earned secure attachment and healthier, more meaningful connections.Episode Highlights00:00 Intro00:15 The Connection Between Polyvagal Theory and Attachment Theory03:53 The Origin of How We Relate to Others09:44 Anxious Attachment Style19:58 Avoidant Attachment Style25:58 Disorganized Attachment Style31:08 Secure Attachment Style38:47 What Attachment Style Does the Flight Response Connect To?44:19 How Do Somatic Practices Help in Healing Attachment Wounds?49:03 Some Things Can Only Be Healed in a Relational Dynamic56:04 Growing Up with Narcissistic Family Members01:02:43 The Process of Healthy Aggression Download Sarah’s FREE Workbook:Looking for tools to help you start feeling better? Download Sarah’s free workbook, “How To Gain Control Over How You Feel,” to learn more about trauma’s role in keeping you stuck and how to begin healing at the nervous system level.Click here to download your copy:https://bit.ly/yms-sp-workbookConnect with Sarah on:Website - https://www.sarahbaldwincoaching.com/Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/sarahbcoaching/Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/Sarahbaldwincoaching/Submit a Question:https://sarahbaldwin1.typeform.com/podcastImportant Keywords:Polyvagal Theory - A scientific theory coined by Stephen Porges that explains how the autonomic nervous system controls our reactions to stress and connection.Attachment Theory - A psychological model that explains how early relationships with caregivers shape our ability to form healthy emotional bonds. Nervous System Regulation - The process of calming or balancing the nervous system to achieve emotional and physical stability. This is crucial for managing stress and maintaining healthy relationships.Anxious Attachment Style - An “insecure” or adaptive attachment style where we feel safer when others are close and less safe when we’re alone.Avoidant Attachment Style - An “insecure” or adaptive attachment style where connection or closeness may feel overwhelming, even though a part of us deeply desires connection.Disorganized Attachment Style - An “insecure” or adaptive attachment style where we may want people close, but when they are close, we will reflexively push them away and then desire closeness again.Somatics - Therapeutic tools used to address emotional struggles and trauma by healing it in the body, aiming to restore balance to the nervous system.

Ready to start feeling better every day? Sarah is going to teach you the practical steps to regulating your nervous system, so that you can gain control over your experience and navigate life with more ease. Whether you’re feeling anxious, stuck, or overwhelmed, this science-backed process can help you make real, lasting change and improve your health, relationships, and overall sense of wellbeing.This is not just a “magic pill” that works for some people. Everything in this episode is backed by the latest neuroscience and trauma research; engaging in consistent neural exercises is the key to reshaping your nervous system and spending more of your time in regulation (where we experience much of the “good” in life).Episode Highlights00:00 Intro01:01 The Benefits of Regulating Your Nervous System04:35 You Can Reshape Your Nervous System09:43 Regulating Resources Versus Coping Strategies15:52 How to Create a Regulating Toolbox19:23 Tool: Setting Reminders in Your Phone For Regulation25:53 The Power of Befriending Your Nervous System29:48 The Expand/Contract Process 32:28 How to Create Safe Connection40:29 What are Energy Wells?48:34 How Chronic Dysregulation Leads to Chronic Illness  Work With Sarah:Want to go deeper into this work? Join a waitlist for one of Sarah’s programs to get limited-time reduced pricing and early access to enrollment. Click below to explore upcoming programs.Navigating Your Nervous System: https://bit.ly/sp-nyns-waitlistYou Make Sense: https://bit.ly/sp-yms-waitlistConnect with Sarah on:Website - https://www.sarahbaldwincoaching.com/Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/sarahbcoaching/Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/Sarahbaldwincoaching/Submit a Question:https://sarahbaldwin1.typeform.com/podcastImportant Keywords:Nervous System Regulation: The process of managing the body's stress response and guiding your self-protective system to experiencing and noticing safety in order to resolve trauma, promote balance and wellbeing, and help you navigate challenges with greater ease.Coping Strategy: Temporary methods people use to cover up or numb underlying activation (dysregulation).Regulating Resource: Tools or activities that actually discharge or get rid of activation in the body (rather than covering up), helping to bring our system back into safety, rest, and regulation.Freeze: The blended state of tonic immobility, made up of equal parts mobilizing Sympathetic energy and immobilizing Dorsal energy, leading to feelings of being stuck or trapped.Trauma Resolution: The process of healing from past trauma by addressing and releasing the stored emotional and incomplete physical responses from the body.Embodiment: The practice of being fully present in and connected to your body and the sensations and feelings present within it, which is crucial for nervous system regulation and emotional healing.

In this episode, Sarah explains how trauma is something we all experience to varying degrees and the impact it has on our lives. When we have yet to resolve past trauma, it actually gets stuck and stored in our bodies, meaning our system essentially thinks it is still happening or could happen again at any moment. For many of us, this unresolved trauma is what keeps us stuck in chronic dysregulation and unable to step toward the life we’re wanting.Sarah is going to guide you through the latest neuroscience and trauma research in a way that’s easy to understand and applicable to our everyday lives. You’ll learn how we can teach our bodies to regulate again and gently begin releasing that stuck energy, so that you can heal in a way that lasts.Episode Highlights00:00 Intro00:48 What Causes Trauma?06:25 Unprocessed Trauma Gets Stuck and Stored08:01 Overcoupling or Over-Association09:28 Undercoupling or Disconnection11:33 What You Need to Understand About Trauma17:04 Not All Clinicians and Therapists are Trauma Trained20:53 Trauma Isn’t the Only Reason for Chronic Dysregulation22:23 How Do You Facilitate Regulation in Your Life?26:51 The Pendulation Process32:10 Healing My Own Trauma35:24 The Titration Process38:27 The Eye of the Needle Work42:33 Trauma Work is Complex45:06 Do You Have to Resolve All Trauma?54:01 The Starting Off Point in Life Isn’t Equal56:32 There’s No Blueprint for Parenting01:03:37 Internal Co-Regulation01:08:52 The Desires of Our Soul Are Meant for UsTake Sarah’s Free Quiz:Want to learn more about your nervous system specific to you? Take Sarah’s free quiz, “What’s Keeping You Stuck?” for a personalized guide with in-depth somatic tools to help you regulate your nervous system. Click here to get started:https://bit.ly/yms-sp-quizConnect with Sarah on:Website - https://www.sarahbaldwincoaching.com/Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/sarahbcoaching/Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/Sarahbaldwincoaching/Submit a Question:https://sarahbaldwin1.typeform.com/podcastImportant Keywords:Trauma: Not about the event itself but how an experience overwhelms our system's capacity to process what’s happening.Regulation: Our state of safety, presence, and connection.Attunement: Connecting with someone on an autonomic level, not just through words, to provide empathetic support.Pendulation: The process of moving between dysregulation and regulation, helping the body to naturally discharge traumatic energy.Titration: Taking small amounts of activation (traumatic energy) and supporting it to leave the body without overwhelming the nervous system.Discharging Activation: The process of letting the traumatic energy leave the body, often through physical movement, such as shaking.Healing: Resolving trauma by re-teaching the nervous system to process and release stored energy, allowing the past to truly be in the past.