Beyond Words with Najwa Zebian podcast

Available Episodes

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015- Gaslighting Explained: How to Recognize It, Escape It, and Heal
Send us a textYou’re not crazy — you were conditioned to believe you are. In this powerful episode of Beyond Words, Najwa Zebian breaks down one of the most insidious forms of emotional abuse: gaslighting. From subtle lies to complete distortion of your reality, Najwa helps you understand what’s really happening when someone tries to make you doubt your truth.She unpacks how gaslighters erase your perception of reality, why they do it, and what makes empaths, nurturers, and people-pleasers especially vulnerable. Through stories, examples, and deeply reflective insights, Najwa helps you see clearly through the fog, validate your experience, and reclaim your power.💛 If you’ve ever been told you’re “too sensitive,” “crazy,” or “imagining things,” this episode will help you find clarity, compassion, and strength.Timestamps / Show Notes:00:00 – You’re not crazy. You were gaslit.01:10 – What gaslighting really is (and isn’t).04:34 – The story of Betty Broderick: A real-life case of gaslighting.07:41 – Why gaslighters do it.10:01 – Why you were “chosen.”13:20 – The DARVO tactic: Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim and Offender.17:24 – The hook: mirroring and emotional bonding.20:42 – The 5-course meal metaphor.23:41 – From breadcrumbs to confusion.27:10 – The “fog” strategy.29:43 – Words That Found Me: Alan Watts quote.32:54 – Stop stirring the mud.33:55 – You don’t deserve mistreatment — even in your vulnerability.38:42 – Words That Held Me: ‘Delusion’ excerpt from Welcome Home.43:57 – You are not weak. You survived erasure.Key Takeaways:Gaslighting is not confusion — it’s calculated manipulation.Empaths and nurturers are often targeted because of their deep capacity for love.Stop trying to make sense of the senseless — clarity comes when the fog settles.Healing begins when you stop labeling yourself as what they tried to make you.Education and awareness are your power.If this episode resonated with you, share it with someone who still blames themselves for being gaslit.Please leave a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify — it helps others find healing Beyond Words.
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014- Crash Out, Not In. Stop Being the Bigger Person.
Send us a textWe’re taught to keep the peace, rise above, and “be the bigger person.” But what if constantly being “bigger” is quietly breaking you? In this episode, Najwa shares a bold reframe: if you must choose between crashing out and crashing in, don’t let the crash happen inside you. Suppressed truths corrode self-esteem, confidence, and your ability to choose the right people.Through vivid metaphors (arrows, tightropes, and the crash-out vs. crash-in analogy), Najwa names the double standards that keep you policing your reactions while others never examine their behavior. You’ll learn how to spot environments that force you out of character, why integrity eventually says “no more,” and a gentle way to expand your time with people who regulate your nervous system instead of dysregulating it.If you’re exhausted from always holding it together while others keep pulling you down, this conversation will help you speak your truth and protect your energy—without abandoning your goodness.Listen now on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, YouTube, or wherever you get your podcasts. If this helped you, please leave a rating and review.Show Notes & Timestamps00:00 – Crash Out vs. Crash In Why internalizing harm destroys voice, dignity, confidence, and faith in humanity.01:12 – Stop Being the “Bigger Person” How environments that require constant composure pump you full of unsaid truths.02:12 – The Cost of Holding It In What “crashing in” does to your self-esteem and how shame keeps you silent.03:11 – Keep Harm Outside You Arrow metaphor: either remove it (express) or bleed silently (suppress).04:25 – Double Standards & Selective Honesty When others never self-reflect but demand perfection from you.06:36 – The Trap of “Unbothered” How you were taught that your reaction—not their behavior—is the shameful thing.07:41 – Having to Teach Basic Decency The sadness of explaining respect to people who won’t extend it.08:57 – The Tightrope Being forced to balance while others push and provoke (and why you eventually snap).11:02 – The Aftermath: Exhaustion & Isolation Why being “bigger” leaves you drained for the people who actually love you.12:29 – “Good Person” Cage How quiet kindness becomes something manipulators bank on.13:38 – A Gentle First Step Spend one hour with someone who regulates your nervous system; body check-in practice.16:44 – Subtle Humbling How silence after your good news is a tell.18:47 – Energy Economics One draining hour vs. one nourishing hour—and the 23-hour ripple effect.20:17 – Manufactured Overreaction They push until you break, then call it “too much.”21:16 – When Integrity Says “No More” The moment you stop self-abandoning and speak.24:10 – Journal Prompt “If my integrity spoke freely today, what would it say and do?”25:14 – The Ceiling They Create Why constant “bigger person” mode keeps you stuck at survival level.26:34 – Mind Platter, p. 6: “Stay True to Yourself” On not chasing people’s views; confidence in your intentions.27:34 – Real Change Comes From Within Affirmation of self-led transformation.27:58 – Words That Found Me (Unknown Author) “This is not being the bigger person… it’s suppression.”28:48 – Final Reframe If you must choose, crash out—not in. Speaking truth is not being “smaller”; it’s honoring your worth.
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013- Stop Explaining Yourself to the Wrong People
Send us a textThere’s a quiet kind of exhaustion that comes from constantly trying to make yourself understood by people who are committed to misunderstanding you. You explain, clarify, defend, and prove — not because you’re weak, but because you ache to be heard.In this episode of Beyond Words, Najwa unpacks why explaining yourself to the wrong people erodes your dignity, pulls you out of character, and keeps you anchored in environments that dim your light. She explores the difference between explaining to connect vs. explaining to be validated by people whose minds are already made up.Through vivid metaphors and raw truth, Najwa offers a way out: to stop over-explaining, reclaim your energy, and redirect it toward spaces, people, and pursuits that see you without a fight.If you’ve ever walked away from a conversation thinking, “That’s not even me… why did I go there?”—this episode will feel like a mirror and a hand reaching out to pull you back home to yourself.📝 Show Notes & Timestamps (for Buzzsprout “Show Notes” section)00:00 – The Cost of Staying Around the Wrong People Opening truth: the more you surround yourself with the wrong people, the more your dignity erodes.01:12 – Why We Explain Ourselves (It’s Not Low Self-Esteem) Exploring the human ache to be heard and why we shouldn’t shame ourselves for it.02:10 – The Problem: People Committed to Misunderstanding You How ego dynamics twist your explanations into proof against you.03:21 – The Cardinal Truth About Good Hearts Why kind people expect to be heard — and why that backfires in the wrong dynamics.04:20 – Living Through Your Truth Without Explaining The consequence: losing the people who need you to over-explain to stay connected.05:43 – Why Your Growth Scares the Wrong People How your evolution triggers ego and false superiority in others.08:00 – Recognizing When You’re Out of Character A sign you’re in the wrong place, not that you’ve failed.09:40 – The Futility of Explaining to People Who Already Know Reflective journaling prompt: “What is explaining yourself to someone who knows they’ve hurt you going to do?”11:52 – The Contagion of Environments A vivid metaphor about sickness and influence.13:09 – The Psychological Toll of Staying Around Liars How dishonesty around you causes chronic doubt.14:05 – A Gentle Wake-Up Call Najwa’s reminder of our shared humanity and inner voice.16:02 – Sitting With Pain Instead of Explaining It Away Recognizing when others’ choices reflect their character, not your worth.17:07 – Why Your Clarity Intimidates the Uncomfortable How purpose triggers avoidance.19:27 – There Are People Who Will Understand Without a Fight Flat-ground vs. uphill-battle relationships.22:49 – You Don’t Need to Earn Basic Human Respect Respect and dignity are inherent, not transactional.24:57 – The Sunny vs. Rainy Metaphor Proving your truth to people who already see it — and want to drain you.26:17 – Letting Bonds Break When Over-Explaining Stops Why guilt surfaces and how to reframe it.27:00 – Reclaiming Your Energy Redirecting everything you’ve poured into the wrong places.28:26 – 🌿 Words That Found Me Ali Ibn Abi Talib’s quote on never explaining yourself.29:32 – 📖 Words That Held Me From Sparks of Phoenix, p.130 — on gossip, silence, and standing in truth.30:47 – Final Reflection A powerful visualization of reclaiming your energy and protecting yourse
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012- Let Them Keep What They Took from You
Send us a textIn this deeply resonant episode of Beyond Words, Najwa explores the painful but liberating truth of betrayal and abandonment. What happens when you’ve invested your heart, time, and soul into someone, only to have them walk away with everything you gave? Najwa reframes this heartbreak with a radical act of self-love: let them keep what they took, because you are the well.Through storytelling, raw truth, and her signature poetic wisdom, she guides you to reclaim your power, stop searching for closure in the wrong places, and redirect your love back to yourself.This episode is for anyone who feels drained, betrayed, or unrecognized—and needs the reminder that nothing you gave was wasted, because you remain the source.Timestamps & Show Notes0:00 – Opening Reflection On the feeling of wanting back the years, love, and loyalty you gave—and why none of it was wasted.1:00 – Building Homes in Others Why investing all of yourself in another person makes you “homeless” when they leave.2:20 – The Power of Being the Source Everything you gave came from you—meaning you can create it again, this time for yourself.4:10 – Betrayal & Loss of Direction How it feels when someone shows loyalty, then betrays you—and the disorientation that follows.6:00 – Facing an Unfair World Why expecting fairness keeps you stuck, and how to shift into inner power instead.7:20 – What You Truly Wanted Back It was never about material things—it was about being seen, valued, and appreciated.9:30 – The Dignity Wound Why betrayal feels like an assault on your humanity and dignity.13:00 – The Futility of Expecting Change Why the person who exploited you will not suddenly validate or appreciate you.15:30 – Stop Playing Small Why staying quiet, small, or endlessly kind won’t earn recognition—and why you must expand.18:00 – Shifting the Audience From begging one person to see your worth, to realizing the world is full of those who already do.20:00 – Let Them Keep What They Took How to reclaim your power by no longer investing in takers.22:00 – The Bubble of Power Visualization A protective practice to deflect arrows of blame, shame, or cruelty.23:00 – Words That Found Me “If they drained your love, let them keep the emptiness. You still have the well.”24:00 – Words From Me to You (Welcome Home, Clarity Chapter) Stop searching for closure in the wrong places—stop looking for a speck of dust in the ocean.29:00 – Closing Invitation The cure isn’t in the poison. It’s in you. Keep swimming, keep breathing, keep moving toward love that honors you.
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011- Stop Mistaking Being Used for Being Loved
Send us a textIn this episode of Beyond Words, I explore one of the most painful truths: when someone loves you not for who you are, but for what you give. Together, we’ll unpack how childhood conditioning makes us vulnerable to these patterns, how to tell if you’re surrounded by takers or builders, and how to begin redirecting your energy back to yourself. This conversation will help you break free from cycles of being used, reclaim your worth, and re-learn that you are deserving of love simply because you exist.Timestamps & Show Notes0:00 – Opening ReflectionsWhy saying “you owe me nothing” is the most powerful response when someone tries to put a price on your love.The unique betrayal of realizing someone loved what you gave, not who you are.2:00 – Early ConditioningHow childhood experiences with acceptance, authority figures, and friendships shape our adult relationships.The learned belief: I must give to be worthy of belonging.6:00 – I Do, Therefore I Deserve vs. I Am, Therefore I DeserveChallenging the belief that your worth depends on effort or sacrifice.Why being human is enough to deserve love, respect, and care.10:00 – The Power of EnvironmentVisualizing your “metaphorical space”: do you feel small and restricted, or expansive and seen?How toxic environments normalize depletion.16:00 – Facing the Truth About Being UsedWhy it’s so difficult to admit when someone is only with you for what they gain.Recognizing when you’re choosing fear of abandonment over self-protection.22:00 – Sitting With Your FeelingsThe “tea with your pain” practice: welcoming feelings instead of pushing them down.Why true growth comes from allowing yourself to suffer and learn, not from rushing to move on.26:00 – Redefining Healing and Moving OnMoving on quickly isn’t a badge of honor — growth comes from reflection and integration.The difference between being accepted versus being honored.32:00 – Redirecting Your Love Back to YourselfWhy every act of giving to others proves you can give to yourself.How to reclaim energy from those who only take without offering.34:00 – Words That Found MeA moving Lebanese poem-turned-song, Bella (Without Anything Else), as a reminder that love should be for the soul, not for what you decorate yourself with.38:00 – Words From Me to YouA reading from The Nectar of Pain on giving love freely, being disappointed, and knowing that what you once gave cannot be repaid.41:00 – Closing InvitationEncouragement to share this episode with anyone who needs it.A reminder: your worth isn’t defined by what others take — but by how deeply you choose to honor yourself.
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