Beyond Words with Najwa Zebian podcast

Available Episodes

5 of 20

019- How to Stop People Pleasing
Send us a textIn this episode of Beyond Words, we’re diving deep into one of the most exhausting, identity-shaping patterns so many of us carry: people pleasing.If you've spent your life monitoring everyone’s emotions…If you jump at the first sign of someone being upset…If your peace depends on whether everyone around you is okay…This episode is going to hit home.Together, we explore:Why people pleasers often give the most to those who value them the leastHow childhood conditioning trains you to carry emotions that were never yoursWhy avoidant people make you feel like the villain when you express your needsHow “fixing” others becomes a form of abandoning yourselfWhy you feel guilty when someone rejects your helpHow to stop shrinking, over-explaining, and trying to earn love through effortThis is not a conversation about becoming hard or cold.It’s a conversation about returning to yourself... the self you left behind while saving everyone else.Words That Found Me: “The only people who get upset when you set boundaries are the ones who benefited from you having none.” — UnknownWords That Held Me (from The Book of Healing): Because You Are a Good HeartIf this episode resonates with you, please leave a rating or review. Your support helps this podcast reach the people who need it most.
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35:57
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35:57
018- How to Choose Yourself After Someone Discards You
Send us a textWhen someone stops choosing you, it can feel like being thrown away. In this heartfelt episode, Najwa explores the pain of being discarded, the illusion of lost worth, and the deep healing that begins when you finally choose yourself.Timestamps / Chapters00:00 – The Voice That Says “Choose Yourself” The inner conflict between fear and truth — the voice that tells you to stay vs. the one that calls you home to yourself.01:14 – The Pain of Being Discarded The shock, confusion, and humiliation of feeling unwanted — and why it doesn’t define your worth.04:18 – Stop Trying to Make Sense of It Let go of trying to understand why someone stopped loving you. Some things aren’t meant to make sense.05:24 – They Never Saw Your True Value If their love vanishes overnight, they never truly saw you — only what they could gain from you.08:59 – What Love Really Is True love isn’t games or indifference — it’s safety, vulnerability, and care.14:27 – When They Change Their Mind Their change of heart isn’t your fault. Your integrity and truth remain untouched.17:42 – The Fear of Being Alone How fear convinces us to hold on — and how to replace it with self-compassion.19:59 – Reclaiming Your Voice Stop silencing yourself to be loved. Speak your truth, even if it costs you someone’s presence.27:23 – Shifting the Question From “How can I make them choose me?” to “How can I choose myself today?”32:54 – Don’t Let Someone’s Trash Define You When someone treats you like garbage, it reveals them — not you.39:01 – Words That Found Me Najwa reads from The Book of Healing:“If I am not worth your apology, you are not worth me carrying the pain you caused.”43:00 – Closing Reflection The first person who owes you to choose you — is you.💬 Key TakeawaysBeing discarded doesn’t erase your value.Stop explaining what they’ve already decided not to see.Healing begins the moment you choose yourself.
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42:33
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42:33
017- How to Let Them Be Who They Want to Be
Send us a textWhen you’re so used to overexplaining, overgiving, and overextending yourself — choosing silence can feel impossible. But what if silence is where your real power begins?In this episode, Najwa explores what it means to stop trying to change people, to stop rescuing them from who they’ve chosen to be, and to finally let your peace speak louder than your pain.Through powerful storytelling, gentle truth, and poetic reflection, Najwa helps you understand:Why you struggle to accept the truth about othersHow overexplaining becomes a form of self-betrayalWhy fawning and people-pleasing are trauma responsesThe difference between compassion and self-abandonmentHow to stand in quiet integrity and let others face their own consequencesIf you’ve ever been told you’re “too sensitive,” or if you’ve loved people who constantly hurt you, this episode will remind you: You never have to explain to someone what they already know they did.Timestamps00:00 — When you stop overexerting yourself and choose silence 01:28 — Letting go of control and seeing people for who they really are 04:26 — Why we excuse others’ hurtful behavior 05:31 — The guilt and consequences of setting boundaries 07:51 — Recognizing intentional harm and emotional maturity 10:23 — On jealousy, comparison, and emotional growth 15:53 — “Great minds think alike, but fools seldom differ” — the company you keep 20:49 — When helping turns into self-sacrifice 26:02 — Healthy vs. unhealthy responses to mistreatment 30:13 — Stop trying to change people; let them reveal themselves 31:18 — The scorpion and the frog: understanding character 35:02 — Staying kind without betraying yourself 36:11 — “Let Them F*** Around and Find Out” — strength in self-respect 40:34 — Integrity, boundaries, and the quiet storm of peace 41:41 — Final reflections: let them be who they are, and protect who you are
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016- Let Them Judge You
Send us a textIf you’ve spent years in defense mode, trying to prove your goodness to people committed to misunderstanding you, this episode is for you. I share personal stories (from school days in Lebanon to adult life) about how judgment shaped my self-image, and the moment I chose to stop buying what judgment was selling. You’ll learn how conditioning fuels people-pleasing, why “being the good one” often keeps you stuck, and how to reclaim your energy, boundaries, and peace.In this episode:The cost of living in “prove-them-wrong” modeA formative story about being misread, and what it awakenedConditioning, perfectionism, and why you “knew better” but couldn’t do betterKindness vs. enabling: stop being the sponge that soaks up poisonCutting judgment at the source and choosing your table“Words That Found Me” & “Words That Held Me” to carry with youFavorite lines“Let them judge you. They will live with their judgment; you will live with your truth.”“If there’s no seat for you at the table, build your own and sit at it.”Timestamps 00:00 Why defense mode drains your self-worth 01:01 Gratitude & what your notes mean to me 02:02 Today’s topic: Let them judge you 02:55 A school story that changed my lens 06:14 Being misread and the panic of losing your image 11:33 Image, integrity, and the fear of imperfection 14:01 Conditioning, nervous system, and capacity 16:02 When explaining becomes self-betrayal 19:34 Kindness ≠ enabling (the sponge metaphor) 23:10 Relationships as the biggest predictor of wellbeing 24:06 What “let them judge you” really means 25:03 A friend’s reframe: “They’re not paying your paycheck.” 26:51 Cut off judgment at the source 28:48 How people use snapshots to define your whole 31:03 When others’ insecurity tries to shrink you 33:09 “Words That Held Me”: a short poem 34:59 Choose your people, choose your life 35:55 Build your own table + closingIf this helped, share it with someone who needs relief from judgment, and leave a quick review. It helps others find the show. 💛
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015- Gaslighting Explained: How to Recognize It, Escape It, and Heal
Send us a textYou’re not crazy — you were conditioned to believe you are. In this powerful episode of Beyond Words, Najwa Zebian breaks down one of the most insidious forms of emotional abuse: gaslighting. From subtle lies to complete distortion of your reality, Najwa helps you understand what’s really happening when someone tries to make you doubt your truth.She unpacks how gaslighters erase your perception of reality, why they do it, and what makes empaths, nurturers, and people-pleasers especially vulnerable. Through stories, examples, and deeply reflective insights, Najwa helps you see clearly through the fog, validate your experience, and reclaim your power.💛 If you’ve ever been told you’re “too sensitive,” “crazy,” or “imagining things,” this episode will help you find clarity, compassion, and strength.Timestamps / Show Notes:00:00 – You’re not crazy. You were gaslit.01:10 – What gaslighting really is (and isn’t).04:34 – The story of Betty Broderick: A real-life case of gaslighting.07:41 – Why gaslighters do it.10:01 – Why you were “chosen.”13:20 – The DARVO tactic: Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim and Offender.17:24 – The hook: mirroring and emotional bonding.20:42 – The 5-course meal metaphor.23:41 – From breadcrumbs to confusion.27:10 – The “fog” strategy.29:43 – Words That Found Me: Alan Watts quote.32:54 – Stop stirring the mud.33:55 – You don’t deserve mistreatment — even in your vulnerability.38:42 – Words That Held Me: ‘Delusion’ excerpt from Welcome Home.43:57 – You are not weak. You survived erasure.Key Takeaways:Gaslighting is not confusion — it’s calculated manipulation.Empaths and nurturers are often targeted because of their deep capacity for love.Stop trying to make sense of the senseless — clarity comes when the fog settles.Healing begins when you stop labeling yourself as what they tried to make you.Education and awareness are your power.If this episode resonated with you, share it with someone who still blames themselves for being gaslit.Please leave a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify — it helps others find healing Beyond Words.
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