Abiding Together

In this episode, we continue our book study on Friendship in the Lord and discuss how friendship with others leads us into deeper intimacy with God. We talk about our longing for both human and divine communion, how healthy friendships free us from self-preoccupation, and why learning to receive feedback is essential to our growth. We also reflect on how unmet desires in friendship are signs of our longing for the Trinity and the importance of releasing lesser goods so that we can be free to receive God's greater gifts. 
 
Announcement:
You can buy your copy of Friendship in the Lord from Ave Maria Press (or Amazon).
 
Journal Questions:
What makes me feel at home with the Trinity?
How has God invited me to be a more faithful friend?
Where do I need to grow in self-awareness and be freed from self-preoccupation?
What is my disposition when someone lovingly reveals my own weaknesses and shortcomings to me?
How have I refused to grow?
 
Discussion Questions:
What makes you feel at home with other people?
How is God inviting you into deeper communion with others?
How has the Lord revealed to you your weaknesses and shortcomings? How did you receive that truth from Him?
How have you given into sloth by seeking God's lesser gifts and ignoring His greater gifts?
 
Quote to Ponder:
"In a special way, Christian friendship is meant to help us grow in our relationship with the Lord, as one intimately loved by him. It is meant to give us some small experience of what it means to be at home in communion with the Holy Trinity. Only in intimacy with the Lord are we the deepest "who we are." Only in communion with him are we our truest selves." (Friendship in the Lord, Page 77)

 
Scripture for Lectio:
"I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master's business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you." (John 15:15)
 
Timestamps:

00:00 Intro
01:00 Scripture Verse
02:37 Human Friendship Helps Us Grow In Relationship with God
05:06 Freedom from Self-Preoccupation
07:47 Cultivating Self Awareness
10:15 Giving and Receiving Honest Feedback
14:36 Pain in Friendship is a Symbol of Our Longing for God
19:12 What Should We Do with Our Ache?
22:48 Resting in the Enjoyment of Lesser Gifts
25:05 A Call to Make Room
27:22 Closing Prayer

In this episode, we continue our book study on Friendship in the Lord and reflect on how loving appreciation and reconciliation are the places where friendship matures. We talk about why healthy adult friendships draw us closer to the Lord, how the unique gifts of women and men reveal different facets of God's love, and how learning to behold another's beauty without trying to grasp or possess it calls forth our true identity. We also discuss the importance of recognizing how we've hurt others, expressing sincere sorrow, and allowing others to do the same. As we bring our wounds, suffering, and sin into the love of Christ, we discover that the very places we fear most can become the biggest places of resurrection.

 
Other Resources Mentioned:
Restore the Glory Podcast on Confession (Parts 1-3)

S18 Forgiveness Meditation (with questions from the book Forgiving as Unity with Christ) 

S11 Forgiveness Meditation with Sister Miriam

 
Announcement:
You can buy your copy of Friendship in the Lord from Ave Maria Press (or Amazon).

 
Journal Questions:
Am I maturing as a friend?
What does the Holy Spirit want to teach me through my friendships?
Am I currently experiencing conflict or frustration in a relationship? What is the pain or trigger I feel beneath the conflict?
Can I receive the gift of beauty without trying to grasp or possess it?
How have I failed to uphold the dignity of my friends?
Am I experiencing the fullness of who I am?
What parts of myself am I hiding from my relationships?
 
Discussion Questions:
When have you experienced your own uniqueness in a friendship? Did you experience your uniqueness as a gift to give or as an insecurity to hide?
How is the Lord inviting you to more freely receive your friends rather than possessing them?
How have you participated in belittling or sarcasm in your relationships?
How have you participated in or been on the receiving end of judgment within friendships?
Where does the Lord want to love you into a place of freedom?
 
Quote to Ponder:
"The intimacy of adult friendship in the Spirit can teach us to aspire to the fullest possible intimacy with the Lord himself. The tenderness of one friend toward another is the image of God's own tenderness, when the friends truly love each other in the Spirit." (Friendship in the Lord, Page 62)



Scripture for Lectio:
"Therefore as God's chosen people, holy and dearly beloved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues, put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity." (Colossians 3:12-14)

 
Timestamps:

00:00 Intro
01:10 Scripture Verse and Quote to Ponder
02:03 Am I Maturing as A Friend?
07:57 Our Different Gifts Reveal Facets of God
11:45 Appreciating Beauty Without Grasping
14:28 Upholding the Dignity of Another
16:03 Receiving Ourselves as A Gift
18:37 Judgement Makes Us Blind
20:30 Exposing Our Weaknesses to the Light
22:00 Remaining Faithful to Our Friends
25:50 Reconciling with God and Others

In this episode, we continue our book study on Friendship in the Lord and reflect on the ways God invites us to grow through the relationships He has entrusted to us. We talk about the importance of rightly ordered love, why true friendship always draws our gaze toward Christ, and the beauty of virtuous friendships between men and women. We also talk honestly about the fears, wounds, and misunderstandings that can arise in friendship, and the importance of repair in deepening a friendship. Friendship is not about finding someone to complete us, but about walking together toward holiness while helping one another become who God created us to be. 
 
Other Resources Mentioned:
Restore the Glory Podcast on Confession

 
Announcement:
You can buy your copy from Ave Maria Press (or Amazon).

 
Journal Questions:
When have I experienced healthy and holy friendship between men and women?
Where is my gaze within my friendships?
Do any of my friendships serve a higher purpose than just the friendship itself?
When have I experienced enmeshment or avoidance within friendships?
Do I prioritize my most important relationships? Who has the Lord especially entrusted to me?
 
Discussion Questions:
How are you pursuing a friendship with the Lord?
Do you think that men and women can have virtuous friendships?
When have you unhealthily looked to a friendship to satisfy all your needs?
Have you ever felt spread too thin in your friendships?
Which example of holy friendship from the book resonates with you?
 
Quote to Ponder:
"Just as love for neighbor proceeds from love for God, so does faith concerning creatures proceed from this love, whether it be general faith or special faith. As there's a general faith corresponding to the love which we ought to feel in general to every creature, so there is a special faith belonging to those who love one another more intimately, like the faith which has established a close particular love between us two." (St. Catherine of Siena)
 
Scripture for Lectio:
"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! By his great mercy he has given us a new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead,  and into an inheritance that is imperishable, undefiled, and unfading, kept in heaven for you, who are being protected by the power of God through faith for a salvation ready to be revealed in the last time. In this you rejoice, even if now for a little while you have had to suffer various trials, so that the genuineness of your faith—being more precious than gold that, though perishable, is tested by fire—may be found to result in praise and glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed.  Although you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and rejoice with an indescribable and glorious joy, for you are receiving the outcome of your faith, the salvation of your souls." (1 Peter 1:3-9)
 
Timestamps:

00:00 Intro
03:35 Scripture Verse and Quote to Ponder
05:11 The Friendship of St. Catherine and Bl. Raymond
08:57 The Order of Friendship
11:40 Can Men and Women Have Virtuous Friendships?
16:43 Friendship Ordered Towards Christ
19:24 Why Friendship with God Comes First
23:51 Growing Through Different Stages of Friendship
28:02 Rupture and Repair in Friendship
31:48 Closing Prayer

In this episode, we continue our book study on Friendship in the Lord and reflect on what it means to be truly known, deeply loved, and fully at home with another. We talk about why we must first learn to abide in the love of God, how appreciation helps others become who they were created to be, and what it looks like to grow in friendship over time. Whether friendship feels life-giving or challenging in this season of your life, we invite you to bring every desire, wound, and longing before the Lord, who first calls you His friend. 
 
Announcement:
You can buy your copy of Friendship in the Lord from Ave Maria Press (or Amazon).

 
Journal Questions:
How is the Lord inviting me to cultivate deeper community where I live?
Where in my life am I trying to love others without being in communion with God?
Am I truly allowing the love of Christ to come out within a community?
Am I at home with the Lord?
How have I been possessive of my relationships within my community?
When have I experienced belonging within community?
How can I create more reverent space in my relationships to allow others to become?
 
Discussion Questions:
How is the Lord calling you to mission?
When you think about a friendship or marriage that you admire, what qualities of that relationship inspire you?
Who are the people in my life that I feel at home with?
How have you experienced possessiveness negatively impacting your relationships?
Where do you long for a deeper sense of belonging?
Which friends and relationships have played a role in helping you become who God has created you to be?
 
Quotes to Ponder:
"The mission of joy and friendship within the Christian community is even more fundamental than the Church's mission to the poor and needy, because love and joy are the source from which all ministry to the sorrowing must flow." (Friendship in the Lord, Page 7)
 
"The wonderful mystery which is you is not complete until you are appreciated." (Friendship in the Lord, Page 19)
 
Scripture for Lectio:
"My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one's life for one's friends. You are my friends if you do what I command.  I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master's business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you." (John 15:12-15)
 
Sponsor - Ascension:
For the first time in more than 50 years, the Church in the United States will begin praying with a new translation of The Liturgy of the Hours starting in 2027. This long-awaited update marks a historic moment in the life of the Church and offers the opportunity for a renewed encounter with her daily prayer.
Chosen by the USCCB as one of the official publishers, Ascension has carefully crafted an edition designed to serve the Church's prayer for generations. Every detail has been thoughtfully considered to provide exceptional readability, lasting durability, and beauty worthy of this sacred tradition.
Ascension's Edition features:
Original commissioned artwork rooted in Catholic Tradition
Top-of-the-line typesetting to maximize readability
Custom Ascension Serif typeface to support extended prayer
Durable Smyth-sewn binding and premium materials crafted for daily use
Availability in multiple formats to support individual prayer needs
Available in both Standard and Large Print formats, with three cover materials to choose from, The Liturgy of the Hours, Second Edition may be preordered as individual volumes or as the complete four-volume bundle. Volume II will begin shipping on January 1, 2027, in time for use beginning on Ash Wednesday, February 10, 2027.
Experience the beauty of the Church's daily prayer in an edition thoughtfully crafted to support prayer for generations. Preorder The Liturgy of the Hours, Second Edition at www.AscensionPress.com/Abiding.
 
Timestamps:

00:00 Ascension
01:32 Intro
02:18 Welcome
02:37 Scripture Verse and Quote to Ponder
03:31 Mission Comes from Community
05:26 Abiding in God's Love First
10:42 The Feeling of Belonging
14:18 Appreciation is Necessary in Friendship
17:22 We Help Others Become Themselves
20:09 Intimacy is Being at Home with Someone
25:49 Being Attentive to Fear
26:59 Closing Prayer

In this episode, we begin our summer book study on Friendship in the Lord by Fr. Paul Hinnebusch, OP. We focus on the foreword and prologue and reflect on the difference between prudence and fear, the ways we self-protect in relationships, and our longing for authentic communion. We also talk about what it means to love without possessing, how to receive others as a gift, and why friendship is a foretaste of heaven. 
 
Other Resources Mentioned:
Friendship in the Lord Study Webpage
Small Group Discussion Guide
 
Announcement:
If you'd like a copy of Friendship in the Lord, you can buy your copy from Ave Maria Press (or Amazon).
 
Journal Questions:
How do I self protect and hide myself in my relationships?
When have I felt embarrassed by my own need for friendship?
Do I allow people to be free in my relationships?
How has a friend failed me and how have I failed a friend?
 
Discussion Questions:
How do you define good friendship?
How have your friendships brought you closer to the Lord?
How is God inviting you to bring your relationships into closer communion with God?
When have you experienced possessiveness in your friendships?
What hopes and desires do I have for my friendships?
 
Quotes to Ponder:
"A true friend is a sort of icon of God, an other through whom the Lord's kindness and mercy shine in a manner that binds up and anoints our brokenness." (Forward to Friendship in the Lord, Fr. John Burns, xv) 
 
"As Fr. Hinnebusch says so well, "What a Christian friend wants above all else for the loved one is his or her communion with the Lord. The one I love, my wife, my husband, my friend, belongs first of all to the Lord. And in that sense, I am only the friend of the Bridegroom. He alone is true Spouse of each and every human heart. He must increase, while I must decrease."" (Forward to Friendship in the Lord, xvii)
 
"A friendship is two lives joined in love and lived as one. But friendship in the Lord is never two people closed in upon themselves. Each of the friends is fully open to the Lord and open to other friends in such a way that the friendship is always part of a larger community. The Christian community is a cluster of many friendships knit together." (Preface to Friendship in the Lord, xix) 

 
Scripture for Lectio:
"Now the birth of Jesus the Messiah took place in this way. When his mother Mary had been engaged to Joseph, but before they lived together, she was found to be with child from the Holy Spirit. Her husband Joseph, being a righteous man and unwilling to expose her to public disgrace, planned to dismiss her quietly.  But just when he had resolved to do this, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream and said, "Joseph, son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary as your wife, for the child conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit. She will bear a son, and you are to name him Jesus, for he will save his people from their sins." All this took place to fulfill what had been spoken by the Lord through the prophet:
"Look, the virgin shall conceive and bear a son,
    and they shall name him Emmanuel,"
which means, "God is with us."  When Joseph awoke from sleep, he did as the angel of the Lord commanded him; he took her as his wife,  but had no marital relations with her until she had borne a son; and he named him Jesus." (Matthew 1:10-25)
 
Sponsor - Ascension:
For the first time in more than 50 years, the Church in the United States will begin praying with a new translation of The Liturgy of the Hours starting in 2027. This long-awaited update marks a historic moment in the life of the Church and offers the opportunity for a renewed encounter with her daily prayer.
Chosen by the USCCB as one of the official publishers, Ascension has carefully crafted an edition designed to serve the Church's prayer for generations. Every detail has been thoughtfully considered to provide exceptional readability, lasting durability, and beauty worthy of this sacred tradition.
Ascension's Edition features:
Original commissioned artwork rooted in Catholic Tradition
Top-of-the-line typesetting to maximize readability
Custom Ascension Serif typeface to support extended prayer
Durable Smyth-sewn binding and premium materials crafted for daily use
Availability in multiple formats to support individual prayer needs
Available in both Standard and Large Print formats, with three cover materials to choose from, The Liturgy of the Hours, Second Edition may be preordered as individual volumes or as the complete four-volume bundle. Volume II will begin shipping on January 1, 2027, in time for use beginning on Ash Wednesday, February 10, 2027.
Experience the beauty of the Church's daily prayer in an edition thoughtfully crafted to support prayer for generations. Preorder The Liturgy of the Hours, Second Edition at www.AscensionPress.com/Abiding.
 
Timestamps:

00:00 Ascension
01:32 Intro
02:19 Welcome
07:06 Scripture Verse and Quote to Ponder
08:32 Becoming an Icon of God
10:21 Self Protection in Relationships
12:40 Adult Friendships Must Be Cultivated
15:11 One Person Cannot Satisfy All Our Desires
19:55 Christian Community is a Cluster of Friendships
23:39 The Temptation to Possess
27:42 Closing Prayer