The Cost of Unresolved Trauma: Relapse, Parental Guilt & Chronic Pain w/ Erin Martin
What happens when the wounds you thought you’d healed—or didn’t even know were there—come roaring back? And it can feel like you’re back at square one, even though you’re not.Erin Martin is a podcaster, mom, wife, and reality TV connoisseur. She grew up in a high-control religious group and in a home marked by addiction and dysfunction, carrying wounds she wouldn’t fully understand until much later in life. In this episode, she opens up about how those buried traumas resurfaced years into sobriety—through chronic pain, relapse, and the reckoning that came with motherhood.Key Takeaways:🔑 Unresolved Trauma in the Healing Journey – Why old wounds can resurface years later and feel just as raw as the first time.🔑 The Link Between Trauma and the Body – How unprocessed pain can show up as chronic illness, fatigue, and physical breakdown.🔑 Parenting and Triggered Memories – Why your child reaching a certain age can bring back the unresolved trauma you experienced at that stage.🔑 Beyond the 12 Steps – How deeper healing often requires therapy, psychiatry, and addressing the root cause—not just surface recovery.🔑 Shame vs. Guilt in Motherhood – Why mom shame is more damaging than mom guilt and how it can block true healing.⬇️DAMN THE JOIN SHITSHOW - ADULT CHILD HEALING COMMUNITY⬇️https://theshitshow.mn.co4 weekly zoom support groups (Sun 3: 30 pm EST, Mon 8:30 pm EST, Tues 1 pm EST, & Thurs 8:30 pm EST)Support community at your fingertips with discussion boards and chatSIGN UP FOR SHITSHOW NATION - ADULT CHILD NEWSLETTER👩HELP A GIRL & CAT EAT🐱 www.buymeacoffee.com/adultchild🛍️SHITSHOW MERCH🛍️www.adultchildpodcast.com/shop🎙️NEW TO THE POD🎙️How I learned I was an Adult Child - The Tale of 2 BriansTHE LAUNDRY LIST - Common Characteristics of an Adult ChildFollow Andrea on socialwww.instagram.com/adultchildpodwww.tiktok.com/@adultchildpodAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
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1:08:39
SHITSHOW SATURDAY #167 - The Inner Critic: Us vs. "Normies"
⬇️DAMN THE JOIN SHITSHOW - ADULT CHILD HEALING COMMUNITY⬇️https://theshitshow.mn.co6 weekly zoom support groups (see the full schedule here!)Support community at your fingertips with discussion boards and chat📰SIGN UP FOR SHITSHOW NATION - ADULT CHILD NEWSLETTER👩HELP A GIRL & CAT EAT🐱 www.buymeacoffee.com/adultchild🛍️SHITSHOW MERCH🛍️www.adultchildpodcast.com/shop🎙️NEW TO THE POD🎙️How I learned I was an Adult Child - The Tale of 2 BriansTHE LAUNDRY LIST - Common Characteristics of an Adult ChildFollow Andrea on socialwww.instagram.com/adultchildpodwww.tiktok.com/@adultchildpodhttps://www.youtube.com/@adultchildpodAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
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38:54
Still Hoping Your Parents Will Change? Perfectionism, Codependency & Enmeshment w/ Alana Carvalho
What if the apology, the change, the parent you always wanted… never comes? This episode dives into the painful hope that keeps so many adult children of dysfunctional families stuck.Alana Carvalho is a licensed mental health counselor, author, and speaker specializing in codependency, perfectionism, and relationships. Having grown up in a dysfunctional family herself, Alana knows firsthand the toll enmeshment and unhealthy dynamics can take — and she’s turned that lived experience into a mission to help others untangle from toxic patterns and build healthier, more authentic connections.🔑 Key TakeawaysThe Cost of Waiting for Parents to Change – Why holding onto the hope of an apology or transformation from a dysfunctional parent can keep adult children stuck in cycles of pain and disappointment.Perfectionism as Survival Mode – How growing up in chaos wires us to believe love and safety are earned through achievement, control, and being “good enough.”Codependency Isn’t Compassion – The difference between true empathy and the compulsive caretaking that comes from enmeshment, blurred boundaries, and survival conditioning.The Fantasy of Repair in Therapy – Why bringing abusive or narcissistic parents into therapy often backfires, and what true healing requires instead.Healthy Love After Dysfunction – How breaking free from family enmeshment creates space for authentic selfhood, intimacy, and relationships rooted in freedom rather than fear.⬇️DAMN THE JOIN SHITSHOW - ADULT CHILD HEALING COMMUNITY⬇️https://theshitshow.mn.co4 weekly zoom support groups (Sun 3: 30 pm EST, Mon 8:30 pm EST, Tues 1 pm EST, & Thurs 8:30 pm EST)Support community at your fingertips with discussion boards and chatSIGN UP FOR SHITSHOW NATION - ADULT CHILD NEWSLETTER👩HELP A GIRL & CAT EAT🐱 www.buymeacoffee.com/adultchild🛍️SHITSHOW MERCH🛍️www.adultchildpodcast.com/shop🎙️NEW TO THE POD🎙️How I learned I was an Adult Child - The Tale of 2 BriansTHE LAUNDRY LIST - Common Characteristics of an Adult ChildFollow Andrea on socialwww.instagram.com/adultchildpodwww.tiktok.com/@adultchildpodAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
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1:04:26
SHITSHOW SATURDAY #166 - The Return of Rachel
⬇️DAMN THE JOIN SHITSHOW - ADULT CHILD HEALING COMMUNITY⬇️https://theshitshow.mn.co6 weekly zoom support groups (see the full schedule here!)Support community at your fingertips with discussion boards and chat📰SIGN UP FOR SHITSHOW NATION - ADULT CHILD NEWSLETTER👩HELP A GIRL & CAT EAT🐱 www.buymeacoffee.com/adultchild🛍️SHITSHOW MERCH🛍️www.adultchildpodcast.com/shop🎙️NEW TO THE POD🎙️How I learned I was an Adult Child - The Tale of 2 BriansTHE LAUNDRY LIST - Common Characteristics of an Adult ChildFollow Andrea on socialwww.instagram.com/adultchildpodwww.tiktok.com/@adultchildpodhttps://www.youtube.com/@adultchildpodAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
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40:52
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40:52
Overcoming the Fear of Intimacy: Avoidant attachment, Emotional Safety & Real Connection w/ Paul Gilmartin
When the people who were supposed to protect you also hurt you, your nervous system learns: closeness is dangerous. This is a conversation about what it takes to finally let yourself receive the love you’ve been craving your whole life — without running from it when it shows up.Paul Gilmartin is a comedian and writer best known as the host of The Mental Illness Happy Hour, a podcast that’s been exploring the messier side of the human mind for over a decade. He shares about his own path through addiction, recovery, and learning how to build a healthy relationship after a lifetime of avoiding intimacy.Key TakeawaysWhy Avoidants Pull Away – How childhood trauma wires your nervous system to see closeness as unsafe, even when you crave connection.Overcoming the Fear of Intimacy – Paul’s path from avoiding commitment to building a secure, deeply connected relationship.Dating with Boundaries – What happens when you create a plan for slow, intentional dating… and what it means when you throw it out the window.Breaking Old Attraction Patterns – How Paul stopped chasing red flags and learned to spot emotional availability.Healthy Love Without Losing Yourself – Building a relationship where both partners have full, independent lives and connection feels like “the ice cream on top.”When Vulnerability Changes Everything – The surprising power of disclosing your story early on, and why the right person won’t run.⬇️DAMN THE JOIN SHITSHOW - ADULT CHILD HEALING COMMUNITY⬇️https://theshitshow.mn.co4 weekly zoom support groups (Sun 3: 30 pm EST, Mon 8:30 pm EST, Tues 1 pm EST, & Thurs 8:30 pm EST)Support community at your fingertips with discussion boards and chatSIGN UP FOR SHITSHOW NATION - ADULT CHILD NEWSLETTER👩HELP A GIRL & CAT EAT🐱 www.buymeacoffee.com/adultchild🛍️SHITSHOW MERCH🛍️www.adultchildpodcast.com/shop🎙️NEW TO THE POD🎙️How I learned I was an Adult Child - The Tale of 2 BriansTHE LAUNDRY LIST - Common Characteristics of an Adult ChildFollow Andrea on socialwww.instagram.com/adultchildpodwww.tiktok.com/@adultchildpodAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
A deep dive into the impact of growing up in an dysfunctional family and how to heal the unresolved pain of the past. Join Andrea and guests for raw & vulnerable conversations on topics including - codependency, complex trauma (CPTSD), alcoholism/addiction, generational trauma, and toxic shame. (Start on episode 1!!!) Follow Andrea on social - www.instagram.com/adultchildpod/ www.tiktok.com/@adultchildpod
Canada - english