You’ve heard of ‘quiet quitting’, right? Well, Denethor clearly wants nothing to do with such a trend. Join Alan and KnewBetta as the steward resigns his position quite loudly indeed, in the second of two episodes on The Pyre of Denethor. Gandalf wants to rule the world; Denethor and logic have parted ways; and, let’s be honest, Pippin would make a terrible spy. We learn a few things about KnewBetta: he got in trouble on purpose to read Tolkien, questions Uinen’s fidelity, and just might be the Witch-king (or wishes he was). We speculate on the what-if of Denethor’s survival, and compare Denethor to Usain Bolt. Finally, one more serious content warning as suicide is discussed at length in this episode.

Authority is given to you, listener of The Prancing Pony Podcast, to order the hour of your listening! Join Alan and KnewBettaDoBetta as Beregond saves the day, and Faramir, in our first episode on The Pyre of Denethor. Pippin explains — no, there is too much — Pippin sums up the madness of Denethor, leaving Gandalf with an impossible decision; Imrahil is that guy; and Denethor takes his ball and goes home. The Tolkien Professor joins us to discuss a book 18 years in the making, and Alan invites KnewBetta back even after their Gandalf v. The Witch-king debate. On a serious note, this episode comes with a content warning: suicide is discussed at length.

Éomer forms a final shield-wall and thinks of songs that will never be sung; Alan and Shawn offer to gladly butcher, uh, sing those songs. Join us as the appearance of black sails thrills the forces of Sauron right up until it doesn’t, on the last of our episodes on The Battle of the Pelennor Fields. We cry at the sudden joyous turn, discuss Rohirric aphorisms, and admire Tolkien’s rolled ‘R’s. We spend way too long on a sidebar about the Elendilmir and say goodbye to Shawn again. Finally, we decide to call the legal specialists at 1-800-OATHS4U to negotiate our way out of Middle-earth oaths.

The king is dead, long live the king! Meet was Théoden’s ending; will meat be Alan and Shawn’s ending? Join us as Éomer receives an unexpected promotion in our second episode on The Battle of the Pelennor Fields. We learn about Merry’s blade, Éomer’s fey mood, and Imrahil’s shiny armor, while we speculate if Gandalf might’ve managed a modicum of mighty Maia medical magic. We cry in our bier, discuss elephant pedicures, and talk about dream-team Tolkien adaptations. Finally, Variag revenge is a dish best served cold in Pelennor Trek II: The Wrath of Khand.

The Witch-king arrives on the battlefield; Alan and Shawn also arrive, presumably with less stink. Join us as we finally arrive at the moment that we’ve been waiting for for more than seven years as we begin The Battle of the Pelennor Fields! Merry vomits from terror, the Witch-king mansplains the prophecy to Éowyn, and she stabs him in his invisible face. What do meat that comes in a drum, Manwë’s birthday cake, and Wormtongue in a sequined teddy have in common? We don’t know either. Thankfully, we’re also joined once again by Dr. Bret Deveraux who helps us get a handle on the hostility’s happenings.