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Bite Your Tongue: The Podcast

Bite Your Tongue
Bite Your Tongue: The Podcast
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  • Grandparenting Without Overstepping: Love, Boundaries, and Listening
    Send us a textPlease follow us on social media - FACEBOOK and INSTAGRAM -- we are building our brand and need your support!  On to today's episode:The first hug goes to your adult child. That simple shift sets the tone for everything that follows—and it’s the heartbeat of our conversation with Donne Davis, founder of the Gaga Sisterhood, who’s spent two decades helping grandparents build steady, loving connections without overstepping. We dive into the messy, modern realities of grand-parenting—new parenting norms, gift-giving traps, long-distance heartache, and the quiet art of biting your tongue—while keeping one mission clear: protect the bond with the parents so your relationship with the grandkids can thrive.We unpack why curiosity beats advice, offering word‑for‑word scripts that help you stay close without taking control. From the “anthropologist mindset” for approaching different sleep and feeding choices to setting gentle house rules in your own home, Donne shows how specific praise, reflective listening, and calm boundaries earn trust. We also explore the maternal vs. paternal grandparent dynamic, how to handle in‑law tensions, and why sustainable gifting and secondhand finds can align beautifully with younger parents’ values.Donne shares her L‑O‑V‑E framework and book - When Grand-parenting Isn't So Grand. If this resonated, follow the show, share it with a fellow grandparent, and leave a quick review—your support helps us bring on more experts and stories you care about.Share your feedback about the episode by emailing us  at [email protected] biteyourtonguepodcast.com. Thank you to Connie Gorant Fisher, our audio engineer.  Support the show The site and podcast do not contain any medical/health information or advice. The medical/health information is for general information and educational purposes only and is not suitable for professional device. Accordingly, before taking any actions based upon such information, we encourage you to consult with the appropriate professionals. We do not provide any kind of medical/health advice. THE USE OF OR RELIANCE OF ANY INFORMATION CONTAINED ON THE SITE OR PODCAST IS SOLELY AT YOUR OWN RISK.
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  • When Love Feels Like Judgment: Navigating Connection with our Adult Children
    Send us a textWhat if the words you use to show love are the very ones your adult child hears as judgment? That tension—care that lands as critique—drives so many family conflicts, and Deborah Tannen gives us the language map to change it.We sit down with the Georgetown linguist and bestselling author to explore conversational style, meta-messages, and the subtle ways timing, tone, and turn‑taking shape intimacy at home. Tannen shares vivid stories—from “Do you like your hair that long?” to car‑ride silences—that reveal how message and meta‑message diverge, why “helpful” advice stings, and how indirect questions can be invitations to co‑decide rather than games to decode. We trace the fault lines of gendered talk, where solutions collide with “troubles talk,” and show practical scripts to ask consent before giving feedback, translate intent across styles, and keep curiosity alive without sounding intrusive.We also dig into complementary schismogenesis—the spiral where differences push each other to extremes—and how to stop the chase/withdraw dance by adjusting cadence and expectations. Birth order roles resurface in adulthood, turning firstborn competence into control and younger resistance into reflex; naming those roles loosens their grip. Tannen’s take on apologies is both moving and actionable: why impact matters more than defense, how a simple acknowledgment can heal years of hurt, and why late‑life apologies carry disproportionate power. Along the way we address the “big three” hot zones—hair, clothes, weight—plus social media’s sting of exclusion, and we offer boundary phrases that preserve both bond and autonomy.If you’ve ever thought, “I was just caring,” while someone heard, “You’re not enough,” this conversation offers clear tools to bridge the gap. Listen, share with your family, and try one shift this week: ask before advising, label your intent, or offer a four‑part apology. This conversation is filled with insights that can help you strengthen your most important relationships. You may also enjoy this Youtube video of a talk Dr. Tannen gave in Amsterdam highlighting the conversational differences between men and women.  We found it fascinating. 🎧 Listen now and join us in exploring the power of language, connection, and understanding.Share your feedback about the episode by emailing us  at [email protected] us on social media and visit biteyourtonguepodcast.com. Thank you to Connie Gorant Fisher, our audio engineer.  Support the show The site and podcast do not contain any medical/health information or advice. The medical/health information is for general information and educational purposes only and is not suitable for professional device. Accordingly, before taking any actions based upon such information, we encourage you to consult with the appropriate professionals. We do not provide any kind of medical/health advice. THE USE OF OR RELIANCE OF ANY INFORMATION CONTAINED ON THE SITE OR PODCAST IS SOLELY AT YOUR OWN RISK.
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  • Vulnerability Without Judgment: Shifting Parent-Adult Child Dynamics
    Send us a textRelationship and Friendship expert Shasta Nelson shares powerful insights on transforming parent-adult child relationships and building meaningful connections throughout life.Emphasizing her Friendship Triangle framework of positivity, consistency, and vulnerability.1.     The Triangle of Healthy Relationships : Shasta introduces a powerful framework for understanding relationships, which consists of three essential components: positivity, consistency, and vulnerability. To foster a strong connection with our adult children, we need to ensure that our interactions are filled with positive emotions, that we spend consistent time together, and that we allow ourselves to be vulnerable. This triangle is not just applicable to parent-child relationships but can also enhance our friendships and other connections in life.2.     The Importance of Vulnerability : One of the most profound insights from our conversation is the idea that vulnerability is a gift we can give to our children. By opening up about our own experiences, regrets, and feelings, we create a safe space for them to share their own thoughts and emotions. Shasta emphasizes that it’s crucial for parents to ask their adult children about their childhood experiences and to listen without being defensive. This kind of openness can lead to healing and a deeper understanding of each other.3.     Building Our Own Support Systems : As parents, it’s easy to become overly focused on our relationships with our children, sometimes to the detriment of our own well-being. Shasta reminds us that cultivating our friendships is essential for our happiness and health. By prioritizing our own social connections, we not only enrich our lives but also become better equipped to support our children. After all, a fulfilled parent can foster a more positive and nurturing environment for their kids.I truly believe that this episode is a must-listen for anyone navigating the challenges of parenting adult children or looking to strengthen their friendships. Join us as we explore these themes and more! 🎧💖Follow us on social media and visit biteyourtonguepodcast.com. Email us at [email protected] the show The site and podcast do not contain any medical/health information or advice. The medical/health information is for general information and educational purposes only and is not suitable for professional device. Accordingly, before taking any actions based upon such information, we encourage you to consult with the appropriate professionals. We do not provide any kind of medical/health advice. THE USE OF OR RELIANCE OF ANY INFORMATION CONTAINED ON THE SITE OR PODCAST IS SOLELY AT YOUR OWN RISK.
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  • Your Adult Child's Boundaries are not a Rejection of You
    Send us a textHave you ever sent an impulsive text when feeling rejected by your adult child? That desperate "What did I do wrong?" message that you later regretted? You're not alone. The relationship between parents and their adult children exists on a delicate continuum—from deep connection to painful estrangement and everything in between.Dr. Rachel Glik, relationship specialist and author of "A Soulful Marriage," joins us to unpack the complex dynamics of parent-adult child relationships. With remarkable insight, she reveals how our own emotional needs can unknowingly sabotage these precious connections. "We can't be a parent when we're depending on our child," she explains, highlighting how our generation's child-centered parenting style paradoxically created more self-centered adults.The conversation delves into practical wisdom about building emotional maturity—that essential capacity to hold your own pain while simultaneously creating space for your child's perspective. Dr. Glik shares illuminating examples from her own experience as a mother and grandmother, demonstrating how to navigate differences without becoming emotionally reactive. She offers specific guidance on welcoming your child's partner, setting healthy boundaries, and finding the balance between independence and connection.Perhaps most powerfully, Dr. Glik reframes relationship challenges as opportunities for profound personal growth. "Put energy into seeing what you're experiencing as happening for you, not to you," she advises. This shift in perspective transforms painful interactions into gateways for self-awareness and healing. Whether you're feeling distant from your adult children or simply want to strengthen your connection, this conversation provides compassionate, practical tools for moving forward with both wisdom and love.Support the show The site and podcast do not contain any medical/health information or advice. The medical/health information is for general information and educational purposes only and is not suitable for professional device. Accordingly, before taking any actions based upon such information, we encourage you to consult with the appropriate professionals. We do not provide any kind of medical/health advice. THE USE OF OR RELIANCE OF ANY INFORMATION CONTAINED ON THE SITE OR PODCAST IS SOLELY AT YOUR OWN RISK.
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  • When They are Little, They Sit on your Lap: When They are Big, they Sit on Your Heart
    Send us a textThis is one funny episode.  Today we interview Susan Engel, a professor of psychology at Williams College and the author of the New York Times Article:  When They're Grown, The Real Pain Begins.     Joining Denise as co-host is a dear friend Val Haller.  Val is the mother of four boys, very similar to the ages of Susan's boys when she wrote this article, so she is our perfect co-host.Susan takes us through her journey when she wrote the article in 2012 and her three boys were 28, 25 and 19.  Today, ten years later,  she is a grandmother with two of these three boys married and living right next door.  Can you imagine?Some things we talk about:Reconceptualizing the parent-adult child relationship as a relationship rather than a job that can be perfectedThe value of passing on positive comments between family members while avoiding sharing criticismsFinding comfort in knowing your adult children continue to grow, develop resilience, and build support networks beyond youThe importance of humility and acknowledging your own parenting mistakesRecognizing when to simply listen rather than trying to fix your adult child's problemsAbout Val Haller - our co-host: Val lives in Chicago and is passionate about music.  She is the founder/CEO of the music website Valslist.com. She launched it about 10 years ago (when her nest was empty) and it is the first music site specifically created to help busy adults keep up with new music.  Check it out. Huge thank you to Connie Gorant Fisher, our audio engineer.Send all ideas to [email protected]. Remeber to follow us on Facebook and Instagram. Support US!  Visit our website at biteyourtonguepodcast.com and select SUPPORT US.  You can buy a "virtual" cup of coffee. Support the show The site and podcast do not contain any medical/health information or advice. The medical/health information is for general information and educational purposes only and is not suitable for professional device. Accordingly, before taking any actions based upon such information, we encourage you to consult with the appropriate professionals. We do not provide any kind of medical/health advice. THE USE OF OR RELIANCE OF ANY INFORMATION CONTAINED ON THE SITE OR PODCAST IS SOLELY AT YOUR OWN RISK.
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About Bite Your Tongue: The Podcast

Did you ever expect being the parent of an adult child would be so difficult? Introducing "Bite Your Tongue," a look at exploring that next chapter in parenting: building healthy relationships with adult children. From money and finance to relationships and sibling rivalry, we cover it all. Even when to bite your tongue! Join your host Denise Gorant as she brings together experts, parents and even young adults to discuss this next phase of parenting. We will chat, have some fun and learn about ourselves and our kids along the way! RSSVERIFY
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