The Mindset Shift That Brings You Back to Peace When Others Won't Change
In this episode, Dr. Tracy Dalgleish shares two of her most trusted strategies for navigating difficult family dynamics—especially during the holiday season when old patterns, expectations, and nervous system triggers tend to flare. Drawing from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, she explains why we can’t change or control others, and how “dropping the rope” and questioning the stories we tell ourselves can immediately shift our emotional state. With relatable examples, practical guidance, and a compassionate lens, Dr. Tracy helps listeners step out of old cycles, reclaim their bandwidth, and stay grounded—even when others refuse to meet them halfway.You’ll Learn:Why trying to change or convince others keeps you stuck in emotional tug-of-warWhat “dropping the rope” really means—and how it protects your peaceHow family dynamics and nervous system activation intensify during the holidaysThe power of asking, “Is this the story I want to tell myself right now?”How to move out of mental spiraling and into present-moment grounding
RESOURCES:
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When Your Partner’s Family Turns on You: Why In-Law Conflict Hurts More Than We Realize
In this episode, Dr. Tracy Dalgleish unpacks one of the most painful and confusing dynamics she sees in couples: being warmly welcomed into a partner’s family—only to later become the outsider.
Through a powerful listener story, she explores why these sudden shifts occur, how family systems create scapegoats, and why meaningful accountability is often out of reach. Dr. Tracy also breaks down what real repair looks like, how to protect your emotional wellbeing, and how to stay united with your partner when extended-family patterns threaten your connection.Whether listeners have felt rejected by in-laws, misunderstood, or pushed to the margins of a family they once felt part of, this conversation offers clarity, validation, and a grounded path forward.What You’ll LearnWhy some in-law relationships shift dramatically after major life transitions—especially becoming parentsHow family systems unconsciously create scapegoats and maintain old rolesWhy apologies and accountability can feel impossible in certain family structuresHow to protect your emotional safety without escalating conflictPractical ways to stay aligned with your partner when extended-family dynamics get in the wayWhat real repair looks like—and how couples can rebuild trust together
Download my TEN QUESTIONS to ask yourself to get out of your assumptions and stories.
RESOURCES:
Order my new book! You, Your Husband, and His Mother
Want your questions answered on the show? Submit them here!
Discover your relationship negative cycle with my free quiz: Take it here
Ready to deepen your connection? Download my 100 Questions
Build better connection and feel close starting today. Join the 30 Days to Us Challenge
LINKS:
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Rula: Get the support you need with rula.com/Tracy
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33:50
You’re Not Broken: The Real Reason You Still React After Leaving a Toxic Partner—and How to Rewire for Connection
In this episode of From the Couch, Dr. Tracy talks about what really happens after ending a toxic or narcissistic relationship and why healing isn’t just emotional—it’s neurological.
When you’ve spent years being shamed, blamed, or dismissed, your nervous system learns that mistakes and disagreements aren’t safe. Neurons that fire together wire together, meaning your body develops reflexive responses that follow you into new relationships.
Dr. Tracy explains how this wiring forms, why you may still react with fear or shutdown even when you’re no longer in that environment, and why this doesn’t mean you’re broken.
Dr. Tracy shares three essential steps for healing: creating new messages of safety through repetition, practicing co-regulation with a safe partner, and releasing stored stress through movement and breath work. She also emphasizes the role of self-compassion in trauma recovery and rebuilding trust.
If you’re navigating life after a toxic relationship and wondering why it still feels hard, this episode will help you understand your nervous system and begin rewiring toward safety and connection.
RESOURCES:
Order my new book! You, Your Husband, and His Mother
Want your questions answered on the show? Submit them here!
Discover your relationship negative cycle with my free quiz: Take it here
Ready to deepen your connection? Download my 100 Questions
Build better connection and feel close starting today. Join the 30 Days to Us Challenge
LINKS:
Calm: Save 40% off at calm.com/Tracy
NativePath: Special Bundle deal at getnativepath.com/Tracy
Rula: Get the support you need with rula.com/Tracy
KiwiCo: Save 50% off with code TRACY KiwiCo.Com
Vionic Shoes: Use code TRACY for 15% off at https://www.vionicshoes.com
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The Mental Load Trap That’s Quietly Breaking Your Connection: How the Holidays Turn You Into Roommates
In this episode, Dr. Tracy and Greg explore what really happens to couples during the holiday season—the mental load, the invisible labour, the unspoken assumptions, and those moments when partners suddenly realize they feel more like roommates than a connected team. Dr. Tracy explains why the holidays create the perfect storm for disconnection, how stress triggers negative sentiment override, and why small moments like “Where’s the tape?” can feel disproportionately heavy on an already overloaded nervous system.
They walk listeners through the stories couples often fall into, the strain of increased emotional labour, and the cycle many partners get stuck in: one person carrying the invisible work, the other withdrawing, both feeling unseen. From there, they shift into what actually helps. They share their 10-minute daily connection ritual, the questions that foster emotional attunement, and how small, intentional actions can rebuild a sense of partnership.
If you’re moving through the holidays feeling overwhelmed, disconnected, or like two ships passing in the night, this episode offers clarity on the deeper patterns at play—and practical, realistic steps to help you reconnect without needing more time.
Join my 10-Day More Than Roommates Challenge
Download my free 10 Questions to Challenge Your Stories: https://drtracyd.mykajabi.com/assumption
RESOURCES:
Order my new book! You, Your Husband, and His Mother
Want your questions answered on the show? Submit them here!
Discover your relationship negative cycle with my free quiz: Take it here
Ready to deepen your connection? Download my 100 Questions
LINKS:
NativePath: Special Bundle deal at getnativepath.com/Tracy
Calm: Save 40% off at calm.com/Tracy
Rula: Get the support you need with rula.com/Tracy
KiwiCo: Save 50% off with code TRACY KiwiCo.Com
Vionic Shoes: Use code TRACY for 15% off at https://www.vionicshoes.com
Calm: Save 40% off at calm.com/Tracy
NativePath: Special Bundle deal at getnativepath.com/Tracy
Rula: Get the support you need with rula.com/Tracy
KiwiCo: Save 50% off with code TRACY KiwiCo.Com
Vionic Shoes: Use code TRACY for 15% off at https://www.vionicshoes.com
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41:30
When Family Won’t Say “I’m Sorry”: Boundaries, Forgiveness, and What to Do Next
In this short, impactful episode, Clinical Psychologist and Relationship Expert Dr. Tracy Dalgleish answers one of the most common questions she hears: Should I hold out for an apology from a parent or in-law?
When you share your hurt and they respond with defensiveness, justification, or minimization, it often triggers shame and escalation—leaving you feeling unseen and even more frustrated. Dr. Tracy explains why some family members simply cannot apologize due to long-standing patterns, emotional immaturity, or generational dynamics, even when they care about you.
Instead of staying stuck waiting for repair that may never come, this episode helps you shift toward what you can control. You’ll learn why cutting people off isn’t always the answer, and how all-or-nothing estrangement can become another form of avoidance.
You’ll leave with an understanding of forgiveness—not as excusing behavior, but as releasing the emotional hold the situation has on you and redefining the relationship on your terms.
RESOURCES:
Order my new book! You, Your Husband, and His Mother
Want your questions answered on the show? Submit them here!
Discover your relationship negative cycle with my free quiz: Take it here
Ready to deepen your connection? Download my 100 Questions
Build better connection and feel close starting today. Join the 30 Days to Us Challenge
LINKS:
Calm: Save 40% off at calm.com/Tracy
NativePath: Special Bundle deal at getnativepath.com/Tracy
Rula: Get the support you need with rula.com/Tracy
KiwiCo: Save 50% off with code TRACY KiwiCo.Com
Vionic Shoes: Use code TRACY for 15% off at https://www.vionicshoes.com
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Welcome to Dear Dr. Tracy, the podcast that helps you navigate the everyday challenges of relationships, marriage, and parenting with expert advice and real, relatable conversations. Hosted by clinical psychologist and relationship expert Dr. Tracy Dalgleish, this podcast is your place for honest, no-nonsense guidance on love, intimacy, boundaries, and communication. With over 18 years of experience, Dr. Tracy brings a mix of clinical expertise, evidence-based research, and personal insights as a wife and mother to help you break unhealthy patterns and build stronger connections. Each week, Dr. Tracy answers the questions so many of us have but don’t always know how to ask—about resentment, desire, mental load, and how to truly feel like a team with your partner. She’s joined by fellow experts, real couples, and her husband Greg, who offers a down-to-earth perspective on the struggles so many relationships face. If you’re ready for actionable tools and heartfelt conversations that will help you create a relationship that feels fulfilling, this podcast is for you.