Most of us think of questions as something we ask other people. Dr. Marilee Adams has spent years showing the opposite: the most consequential questions we ask are the ones we ask ourselves. Adams, founder of the Inquiry Institute and author of the half-million-copy bestseller Change Your Questions, Change Your Life, (a new 5th edition has just been published) joins us to make us smarter about our internal questioning. She introduces us to two mindsets that live inside all of us — Judger and Learner — and the Choice Map™ that helps you notice which one is driving the bus. The conversation takes her work directly into the world of retirement, where Judger questions (What do I regret?, What do I resent?) can quietly shape our moods, relationships, and the texture of later life. But Learner questions (What would be meaningful next?, What does my heart want me to do?, What can I contribute?) open up possibilities for a different future.
Along the way, Adams explains the physiology underpinning the two mindsets, and a single powerful question: Who do I choose to be in this moment? that she returns to again and again. She also introduces us to the five-to-seven-second “Stop, Breathe, Be” practice that can shift your nervous system anytime (from The 5 Resets: Rewire Your Brain and Body for Less Stress and More Resilience by Aditi Nerurkar, MD).
If you’re thinking about designing the non-financial side of your next chapter, or looking to enhance your life in retirement, this is an episode worth re-listening to with a notebook in hand.
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For More on Marilee Adams, PhD
Change Your Questions, Change Your Life, 5th Edition
Take the Survey & Download The Choice Map™
The Inquiry Institute
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Bio
Dr. Marilee Adams is an award-winning author, executive coach, and leadership consultant whose work has shaped how leaders think, communicate, and make decisions for more than four decades.
She is Founder and CEO of the Inquiry Institute, a leadership development and organizational consulting firm dedicated to building inquiry-based cultures that accelerate results and deepen engagement. Its executive coaching, training, keynotes, and eLearning programs — all grounded in Question Thinking™ — are used by Fortune 500 companies, government agencies, healthcare systems, and universities worldwide.
Her book Change Your Questions, Change Your Life has sold more than half a million copies worldwide and been translated into 26 languages. Now in its 5th edition, it remains one of the most enduring frameworks for mindset shift, leadership development, and human performance — and its newest edition addresses one of the defining challenges of our moment: how to lead and think with wisdom, curiosity, and connection in an age of artificial intelligence.
At the heart of Dr. Adams’ work is a deceptively simple insight: the questions we ask — of ourselves and others — shape everything. They determine the quality of our thinking, our relationships, our decisions, and our cultures. In a world increasingly mediated by technology, the human capacity for inquiry is not just a leadership skill. It’s a competitive advantage — and an essential one.
Dr. Adams has coached senior leaders and advised organizations internationally and is a recognized pioneer in inquiry-based coaching and organizational transformation. She speaks and teaches worldwide, helping leaders use Question Thinking™ everywhere it matters most.
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Wise Quotes
On the Two Mindsets
“We’re always asking ourselves questions that affect our moods, that help with our decisions, and also make a difference in whether we have a positive quality mindset or the opposite. All of us human beings have two mindsets. We always will have them — which means they are normal…The more we accept our Judger, the more acceptance and forgiveness and empathy come online. That helps you open your heart to yourself and to others.”
On Questions
“Typical Judger questions in later life are: How can I just fill up my time? What would keep me from being bored? What do I regret or resent about the past? Learner questions sound different: What would be meaningful and satisfying for me going forward? What does my heart want me to do next? What can I contribute? What would be fulfilling? People who are more in Learner mindset literally live longer and have better quality lives. People who are past-oriented, regretful, resentful, live not as long and not as fulfilling.
On Retirement
“When you think about retirement, what’s exciting is to be open to the future and not get stuck in the past. Now you’re talking about creating a future that is intentional, and fulfilling, and healing.”
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Retirement Podcast Conversations You’ll Also Love
The Second Fifty – Debra Whitman
Thinking Better to Live Better – Dr. Woo-kyoung Ahn
The Mindful Body – Ellen Langer
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About The Retirement Wisdom Podcast
There are many podcasts on retirement, often hosted by financial advisors with their own financial motives, that cover the money side of the street. This podcast is different. You’ll get smarter about the investment decisions you’ll make about the most important asset you’ll have in retirement: your time.
About Retirement Wisdom
I help people who are retiring, but aren’t quite done yet, discover what’s next and build their custom version of their next life. A meaningful retirement doesn’t just happen by accident.
Schedule a call today to discuss how the Designing Your Life process created by Bill Burnett & Dave Evans can help you make your life in retirement a great one — on your own terms.
About Your Podcast Host
Joe Casey is an executive coach who helps people design their next life after their primary career and create their version of The Multipurpose Retirement.™ He created his own next chapter after a 26-year career at Merrill Lynch, where he was Senior Vice President and Head of HR for Global Markets & Investment Banking.
Joe has earned Master’s degrees from the University of Southern California in Gerontology (at age 60), the University of Pennsylvania, and Middlesex University (UK), a BA in Psychology from the University of Massachusetts at Amherst, and his coaching certification from Columbia University.
In addition to his work with clients, Joe hosts The Retirement Wisdom Podcast, ranked in the top 1% globally in popularity by Listen Notes, with over 2 million downloads. Business Insider recognized Joe as one of 23 innovative coaches who are making a difference. He’s the author of Win the Retirement Game: How to Outsmart the 9 Forces Trying to Steal Your Joy.
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