Let’s Get Vulnerable: Relationship and Dating Advice

If you love yourself beautifully when you're single and then lose yourself the second you're in a relationship, this one's for you.
We're wrapping up Self-Love September with the question so many of you bring to me: what does it actually look like to love yourself while you're loving someone else? I spent years focused on becoming securely attached and attracting my person, and then I had to learn that staying me inside the relationship was a whole different skill. Because two, three, even seven years in, you can look in the mirror and not recognize who's looking back. Loving yourself in a relationship is how we prevent the resentment, the self-abandonment, and those sudden "I can't do this anymore" moments before they ever start. Whether you're dating, partnered, or ready to course correct, this is your roadmap.
Inside the Episode:
The sneaky way so many of us ghost the most important friendship we have the moment a relationship begins
Why your partner being disappointed with you might actually mean you're doing this right
The one on this list that made me emotional, and why it takes the longest to master

Start showing up for yourself today: Identity Reset is my daily practice mini-course to help you rewire how you see yourself from the inside out, one small, doable practice at a time. Grab the Identity Reset today!
Ready for the deepest level of support? I have just two VIP 1:1 coaching spots open for October. If you're ready to feel confident, securely attached, and free from your past relational trauma (and you don't want to wait until 2027), apply using the link below. It takes five minutes, and I would love to walk this journey with you. Apply for the VIP program here!

She almost said no to the man who became her person, because he didn't check every box.
This week I'm sitting down with Serena Kerrigan, author of Let's Fucking Date, to talk about the standards that almost kept her from Felix, the guy who's now her partner of four years. Serena opens up about the "deal breakers" she used to swear by, why she almost walked away from someone six years younger, and the moment she realized her real non-negotiable was never age or income, it was how he treated her.
We go deep into healing, self-love, and the repetition compulsion that had her attracting the same guy over and over until she finally asked why. Serena shares the therapy work that got her there, what secure love actually felt like once she found it (hint: it's boring in the best way), and her "Mirror Mirror" practice for rebuilding self-worth one conversation at a time.
If you've ever wondered whether your standards are protecting you or isolating you, this episode is your permission slip to look closer.
Inside the Episode:
The dating "standard" Serena had to let go of to find her person
Why the fear of being "too intimidating" is keeping the wrong men in your dating pool
The two-day text rule that tells you everything about where you stand

Connect with Serena:
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@serenakerrigan
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/serenakerrigan/
Get the book, Let's Fucking Date

Ready to do this work for yourself?
Start with Identity Reset the audio training that walks you through rebuilding your self-worth from the ground up.Grab the Identity Reset today!
If you're ready for real, personalized support, applications are open for Empowered. Secure. Loved. my 1:1 VIP coaching container where we rebuild your self-worth, restructure your beliefs, and get you to secure attachment. Apply for the VIP program here!

Here's the thing nobody tells you about self-love: you can do all the right behaviors and still feel empty if the beliefs underneath them are broken.
I'm recording this one from a hotel room in New York, and honestly, I've been thinking about this episode all day. This is part two of our September Self-Love series, and I want to talk about something I don't think gets talked about enough, the actual beliefs that have to be there for self-love to be real and lasting, not just a phase you're in until life gets hard again. If you've ever set an intention to treat yourself better, lasted three days, and then quietly went back to old patterns, I need you to hear this. That's not a willpower problem. That's a belief problem. So today I'm walking you through the eight beliefs I consider absolutely essential, four about yourself and four about the people in your life, and what it actually looks like to live this out day to day, not just talk about it.
Inside the episode:
The self-esteem roller coaster I was on for over a decade, and why getting the promotion, the relationship, or the number on the scale never actually fixed how I felt about myself
The eight core beliefs I walk every client through, including the one that quietly keeps people single without them even realizing it's the reason
What self-love actually looks like in your daily life, not the Instagram version, the real one

If this episode stirred something up for you and you're realizing your belief system needs some rewiring, that's exactly what I built Identity Reset for. It's a short, focused audio training to help you start shifting those subconscious beliefs we talked about today. Grab the Identity Reset today!
And if you're ready to do this work with me directly, I have a couple of spots open for VIP 1:1 coaching right now. This is where we rebuild your self-worth, rewrite the beliefs, and get you to secure attachment together, step by step. Apply for the VIP program here!

When you hear the words "self-love," what comes to mind? A bubble bath? Treating yourself to lunch? Setting a boundary or two? Those things aren't wrong, but they're not the whole picture. In this episode, I'm sharing my personal, working definition of self-love, the one I've landed on after years in this work with my own healing and sitting across from countless clients. We're going to talk about what actually gets in the way of loving yourself, why survival mode makes it feel like a privilege you can't afford, and why your "picker" isn't broken, it just needs recalibrating. If you've ever felt like you keep ending up in relationships that don't last, this episode gets to the root of why.
In This Episode:
My personal definition of self-love and why it goes so much deeper than pop culture's version of "self-care"
The real reasons self-love gets buried, from survival mode to outsourcing your self-worth to other people
Why building this foundation first is what determines whether your relationships actually last, romantic or otherwise

Ready to actually rewire the beliefs keeping you stuck? My Identity Reset is a 10 minute daily practice using NLP principles to help you start embodying your highest, most secure self, and it's now available to everyone, not just my one-on-one clients. Grab the Identity Reset today!
And if you're ready to go even deeper, I currently have two spots open for one-on-one coaching. This is my favorite work I do, and these spots go fast. If you've been on the fence, this is your sign. Apply for the VIP program here!

You can understand your attachment style perfectly and still repeat it every single time. That's not a you problem, that's the missing piece nobody talks about.
This is the episode I've been building toward all series. If you've ever sat there thinking "I know why I do this, I've read the books, I've named the pattern... So why do I still react the same way?" this one's for you. Insight is the beginning of attachment healing, not the finish line. Today I'm walking you through what actually rewires your nervous system and gets you from knowing secure attachment to living it.
Inside the Episode:
Why your childhood-built predictions ("if I need something, I'll be rejected") feel like facts, and the one thing that's proven to change them
The exact moment-by-moment process for catching a trigger before it hijacks you, and what to do in that space instead of reacting
Why some of the most self-aware women I work with still get stuck, and the step almost everyone skips on the way to becoming securely attached

This episode wraps our Attachment Theory Got an Upgrade series, and honestly? It might be the most important one.
Ready to start building your secure identity today? Grab the Identity Reset, the daily practice I've personally used since 2020 to align with my highest self. It's simple, it's fast, and people notice a shift within days. Grab the Identity Reset today!
P.S. I only have two 1:1 coaching spots opening at the end of September. If you've been on the fence about doing this work with real support and a proven framework, this is your sign. Apply for the VIP program here!