This Naked Mind Podcast

Deb's Naked Life | EP 920

If you're thinking about stopping drinking in your 60s but keep telling yourself you're too old, too set in your habits, or too far gone, Deb's story is the one you need to hear. She was a registered nurse who had directed a hospital addiction recovery program and still didn't see herself in it. She was caring for a dying parent, married to a heavy drinker, and drinking three to four glasses of wine every night before a single book changed the entire frame. She became alcohol-free at 62 and hasn't looked back once.

Deb and Coach Cole discuss:

Growing up alcohol naive, not drinking until her late 20s, and watching it quietly become a nightly habit, she barely chose

Directing a hospital addiction recovery program and still telling herself she wasn't like the patients in it

Reading This Naked Mind cover to cover with wine in hand, crying at the parts that felt like her own story

Stopping drinking while caregiving for her mother with dementia, and finding she could finally be present in those visits

Staying alcohol-free while her husband continued to drink, kept trying to pull her back, and what the honest reckoning that followed looked like

Talking herself out of the This Naked Mind coaching program four years in a row before finally committing at 62, after years of retirement

Why a slip isn't a relapse, it's a data point, and the language of growing and evolving versus changing

And more on curiosity, caregiving, and what it means to build a life you don't want to escape from…

Episode links:

thisnakedmindinstitute.comfullheartcoaching.net

Related episodes:

Self-Awareness Around Alcohol | Dr. Gina Slejko - Naked Life Story | EP 535 — https://thisnakedmind.com/ep-535-naked-life-story-dr-gina-slejko/

I Quit Drinking But My Spouse Has Not — Any Advice? | EP 48 — https://thisnakedmind.com/ep-48-reader-question-i-quit-drinking-but-my-spouse-has-not-any-advice/

Using Alcohol Over 60: Lorna Wilson | EP 418 — https://thisnakedmind.com/ep-418-coaching-questions-with-scott-pinyard/ 

CTA

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Ready to take the next step? Visit https://learn.thisnakedmind.com/podcast-resources for free resources, programs, and more. Until next week, stay curious!

⚠️ Trigger warning: This episode contains references to domestic violence and a mental health crisis.

Who am I without alcohol? Does that question sound eerily familiar? Steph and Nicole both find themselves grappling with that very idea and wondering what the answer will mean for them. Steph is 55, and alcohol has been by her side and has helped define her for most of her adult life. Nicole looks to alcohol for the answers and to smooth the rough edges, and isn’t sure if she’s capable of being herself with a glass in her hand. Coaches Cole and Hayley help provide guidance and hope in this week’s episode.

Steph discusses:

Why "loss of identity" became the real subject of her coaching call, not just the drinking

The belief that she'd failed herself and her friends, and how that belief kept her stuck

Why chasing a "finished" identity by a deadline backfires

The threshold metaphor, and why stepping into the unknown feels safer than staying somewhere familiar but unwanted

Her plan to resign from teaching by May 1st, and what she's choosing to let go of first

Nicole discusses:

How alcohol became tangled with her identity before she ever turned 21

The seven-year relationship and the night that ended with her in a hospital for three days

November 5, 2025: the day she sat in her car and decided something had to change

Why grace and curiosity did more for her than willpower ever did

What she calls her "2D glasses" moment, and what she sees now that alcohol's gone

And more…

Ready to take the next step?

Visit https://learn.thisnakedmind.com/podcast-resources for free resources, programs, and more.

Until next week, stay curious!

Cole Harvey is a certified Naked Mind Senior Coach. As a habit change and mindset coach, Cole helps men understand themselves, build better habits, and find meaning. Learn more about Coach Cole: https://thisnakedmind.com/coach/cole-harvey/

Hayley Scherders is a certified TNM Coach with training from the Canadian Addiction and Mental Health Association. Hayley understands how tough change can be and provides a safe, compassionate, and judgment-free space where her clients can feel supported. Learn more about Coach Hayley: https://thisnakedmind.com/coach/hayley-scherders/

Episode links:

More on this episode: https://thisnakedmind.com/podcast/who-am-i-without-alcohol-alcohol-freedom-coaching-ep-929/Join The Path: nakedmindpath.com

Related episodes:

How To Uncouple Alcohol and Identity | Naked Life Story | EP 549 -https://thisnakedmind.com/ep-549-naked-life-story-andrew/Who Am I Without Wine?: Identity & Sophistication | Alcohol Freedom Coaching | E801 - https://thisnakedmind.com/creating-a-new-identity-after-quitting-drinking-alcohol-freedom-freedom-coaching-e801/Why Do I Feel Detached When I’m Not Drinking? | Reader’s Question | EP 122 - https://thisnakedmind.com/ep-122-reader-question-feel-detached-im-not-drinking/

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What does building a life you don't want to escape from actually take? Donna joined The Path in March 2021 after a COVID grocery store moment she couldn't unsee and hasn't had a drink since. Now five years in, she's back with Coach Hayley to share what's genuinely changed, what she's still working through, and a question that keeps getting more interesting.

Donna and Coach Hayley discuss:


That COVID grocery store moment, four wine clubs in a week, and what she calls "the gift COVID gave her"


The beta reader who said her memoir should have said more about her drinking, and what she heard two weeks later


Why confidence was her number one benefit from stopping, and how alcohol was worsening her anxiety while she believed it was helping


The 90-second rule for processing difficult emotions without numbing, and the morning practice she's built over five years


Why building a life you don't want to escape from is still the deeper work at year five


And more on forgiveness, gratitude, and what five years of alcohol freedom actually sounds like...

Episode links: nakedmindpath.com

Related episodes:

Naked Life Story — Donna | NLS | EP 465 - https://thisnakedmind.com/ep-465-naked-life-story-donna

Why Does Drinking Alcohol Make Me Anxious? | Reader Question | EP 684 - https://thisnakedmind.com/ep-684-readers-question-why-does-drinking-alcohol-make-me-anxious/

The Cost of Fitting In | Alcohol Freedom Coaching | EP 785 - https://thisnakedmind.com/the-cost-of-fitting-in-alcohol-freedom-coaching-e785/

Follow on Apple Podcasts: podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/this-naked-mind-podcast/id1287269357

Follow on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/0UB06sNguPjVvgAYFBcR9I?si=b7568f24c21249ff

Ready to take the next step?

Visit https://learn.thisnakedmind.com/podcast-resources for free resources, programs, and more. Until next week, stay curious!

⚠️ Trigger warning: This episode contains references to childhood abuse, parental alcoholism, and the death of a parent from alcohol-related illness.

Most of us were never taught how to give ourselves grace about drinking, only how to judge ourselves for it. Kelly and Amber are proof that the shame and guilt show up no matter how different the situation looks. For Kelly, it shows up after a weekend of drinking that went further than she planned. For Amber, it shows up the moment someone she's dating asks why she's not drinking, and a much older fear takes over.

Kelly discusses:

Why her biggest data point yet, a full night out at a friend's timeshare, left her more unsettled than any smaller one had

The real difference between "I've proven I can" drink moderately and "I've proven I can" have a great time without it

Why Coach Hayley adds the word "yet" every time Kelly says she can't figure out why she drinks

Admitting she's skipped a Path call because she didn't want to say out loud that she'd had a fun night of drinking

Using the ACT technique on the belief "it's part of my culture," and what that opens up

Amber discusses:

Why she can turn down a drink at work without blinking but freezes the second a date asks why she doesn't drink

The exact body sensation she calls "bracing for impact," and the part Coach Cole admits he carries too

Asking the part of her that calls itself broken what it's actually trying to protect her from

The Sharon Salzberg line about meditation that becomes her new mantra for catching herself mid-spiral

The exact phrase Amber swaps in for "I'm broken," and why it changes how she shows up on a date

And more…

Ready to take the next step?

Visit https://learn.thisnakedmind.com/podcast-resources for free resources, programs, and more. Until next week, stay curious!

Coach Hayley Scherders is a certified TNM Coach trained through the Canadian Addiction and Mental Health Association. Learn more about Coach Hayley: thisnakedmind.com/coach/hayley-scherders/

Coach Cole Harvey is a Certified Naked Mind Senior Coach and habit change and mindset coach. Learn more about Coach Cole: thisnakedmind.com/coach/cole-harvey/

Episode links:

More on this episode: https://thisnakedmind.com/podcast/how-to-give-yourself-grace-about-drinking-alcohol-freedom-coaching-ep-927/

The Path: nakedmindpath.com

Related Episodes:

Alcohol Addiction and Shame - Hayley's Naked Life - EP 679 - https://thisnakedmind.com/ep-679-naked-life-story-hayley-s/

Healing Through Self-Love - Cole's Naked Life - EP 737 - https://thisnakedmind.com/healing-through-self-love-coles-naked-life-e737/

How Do I Get Over the Fear of Being Kind to Myself? - Reader Question - EP 552 - https://thisnakedmind.com/ep-552-reader-question-how-do-i-get-over-the-fear-of-being-kind-to-myself/

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Trigger warning: This episode contains references to drunk driving, DWIs, and thoughts of not wanting to live.

Zita was in her kitchen in 2017, working up the nerve for a hard conversation with her boyfriend, when the thought arrived: "You know what would make this easier?" She took a shot to self-soothe before the conversation, and it worked so well that her brain filed alcohol away as the answer to hard moments from then on. She's a registered nurse in her mid-30s who felt nothing when she watched other people drink, all the way through nursing school, with no reason to think that thought would change anything. It did. Three years and several DWIs later, one blacked-out night finally made her stop and ask what she was doing. Now approaching five years alcohol-free, she shares her story.

Zita and Coach Cole discuss:

How one shot before a hard conversation taught her brain a lesson it never unlearned

Why year two brought DWIs and car accidents, then a family intervention she wasn't ready to hear

The hiding stage, and what it costs to act unaffected while drunk around people who love you

Waking up unable to remember the night she drove food to her sick brother

Why she never missed a nursing shift while everything else came apart

The promise to her mom she couldn't keep, and what that finally broke open

How one addiction specialist's number, 90 days, became the only thing she could hold onto

And more on faith, filling her own cup, and what it really means to find your own path to alcohol freedom…

Ready to take the next step? Visit https://learn.thisnakedmind.com/podcast-resources for free resources, programs, and more. Until next week, stay curious!

Episode links:

thisnakedmind.com/book

More on this episode:

https://thisnakedmind.com/podcast/using-alcohol-to-self-soothe-zita-naked-life-ep-926/

Related episodes:

Naked Life Story | Simone | EP 207 - https://thisnakedmind.com/ep-207-naked-life-story-simone/

How Do You Deal With Stress Without Alcohol? | Reader Question | EP 158 - https://thisnakedmind.com/ep-158-how-do-you-deal-with-stress-without-alcohol/

When Alcohol Is The Only Coping Tool You Know | Alcohol Freedom Coaching | EP 917 - https://thisnakedmind.com/how-to-stop-using-alcohol-to-cope-alcohol-freedom-coaching-ep-917/

Follow on Apple Podcasts: podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/this-naked-mind-podcast/id1287269357

Follow on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/0UB06sNguPjVvgAYFBcR9I?si=b7568f24c21249ff