We Can Do Hard Things

What does it look like to keep showing up when the world gives you every reason to disappear?

Writer and artist Chanel Miller joins us for an unforgettable conversation about depression, healing, and her definition of success: refusing perfection and exhaustion, and continuing to show up as exactly who she is.

- Chanel’s brilliant way of understanding depression: seeing life through “toilet paper roll binoculars”—and why we shouldn’t make big decisions when our vision has narrowed;

- Why healing might sometimes be the permission to finally let go and move forward;

- How Chanel learned that presence—not perfection—is success;

- Why refusing to give up can itself be an act of resistance; and

- The extraordinary moment Chanel returned to Stanford, was “held in sound,” and heard the message that set her free: We got it. You can go now.

About Chanel:

Chanel Miller is a writer and artist who received her BA in Literature from the University of California, Santa Barbara. Her critically acclaimed memoir, KNOW MY NAME, was a New York Times bestseller, a New York Times Book Review Notable Book, and a National Book Critics Circle Award winner, as well as a best book of 2019 in Time, the Washington Post, the Chicago Tribune, NPR, and People, among others. She is a 2019 Time Next 100 honoree and a 2016 Glamour Woman of the Year honoree under her pseudonym, “Emily Doe.”

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The most shocking thing about the Cornell and LSU sexual assault cases? That Cornell and LSU delivered more substantial results to those survivors than that afforded to 95% of college women brave enough to report their assaults to Universities.

So what actually happens when a student reports a sexual assault to their university?

Amanda sits down with sociologist and On the Wrong Side author Dr. Nicole Bedera—the researcher who spent a year embedded inside a university Title IX system—to pull back the curtain on the process we tell our kids to trust.

They reveal:

- How the vast majority of sexual assault reports lead to absolutely nothing;

- The crucial difference between filing a report and a formal complaint;

- The profound conflict of interest at the heart of a system run by the same institution whose reputation, liability, and finances are threatened by what it uncovers;

- What specific questions we should ask to actually find out if a college is a safer place to send our child; and

- Most importantly: If your child calls from college and tells you they have been sexually assaulted, who should you to talk to first, what specific things should you do, and what should you not do?

This episode is for every parent with a child in college, every student heading there, and anyone who cares about keeping our children safe.

About Nicole Bedera, Ph.D.:

Nicole Bedera, Ph.D. is a sociologist and author of the book On the Wrong Side: How Universities Protect Perpetrators and Betray Survivors of Sexual Violence. Her research broadly focuses on how our social structures contribute to survivors’ trauma and make sexual violence more likely to occur in the future. Her work has been featured in many popular media outlets, including The New York Times, NPR, Time Magazine, and Teen Vogue. Nicole puts her work into practice as an affiliated educator at the Center for Institutional Courage, as a co-founder of Beyond Compliance Consulting, and as a co-founder of the nonprofit The Survivor Alumni Network.

Read more from Nicole Bedera:

https://slate.com/human-interest/2020/03/daughter-advice-sexual-assault-college.html

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After The Episode That Wasn’t, we received nearly 1,000 voicemails in two days from women saying: This is my life at work. So we invited Emmy and Peabody Award-winning sports journalist Sarah Spain to talk about what actually works when you’re navigating sexism, harassment, and power on the job.

- Why telling women to “just report it” isn’t enough;

- The difference between what’s right and what actually works;

- Why women learn to laugh off behavior that isn’t funny;

- What to do when you finally have enough power to speak up for someone else; and

- Sarah’s reminder: You’re not making it awkward. The person who did the harmful thing already did that.

Listen to Ep 147 The Episode That Wasn’t here.

About Sarah:

Sarah Spain is an Emmy and Peabody Award-winning sports journalist. In her 12+ years at ESPN she has worked as a radio and podcast host, writer and TV analyst. She's a minority owner of the Chicago Red Stars of the NWSL, a co-founder of “Hear The Cheers,” which provides hearing aids and equipment to kids so they can continue participating in sports, and is on the board of Embarc, a program that provides community-driven experiences and learning opportunities to low-income Chicago high school students.

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Stefanie Fox, Executive Director of Jewish Voice for Peace, joins Glennon, Abby, and Amanda for an urgent, eye-opening conversation about the fight for Palestinian freedom, the powerful forces keeping America complicit, and what each of us can do to make a difference. Glennon also shares the story behind her recent arrest outside the United Nations and the unexpected hope she's found in taking action.

- Why America continues to fund and arm Israel—and who profits.

- What Zionism and anti-Zionism mean, and how to recognize and fight antisemitism.

- How political pressure, money, and fear are used to silence support for Palestine.

- How to move beyond outrage and despair into meaningful, collective action.

More about Jewish Voice for Peace:

https://www.jewishvoiceforpeace.org/

About Stefanie:

Stefanie Fox is the Executive Director of Jewish Voice for Peace (JVP), a grassroots membership organization that organizes and mobilizes hundreds of thousands of Jews into solidarity with the Palestinian freedom struggle and a vision of Judaism beyond Zionism. Stefanie joined JVP in 2009 as the organization’s first National Organizer (when the organization had six chapters and a few hundred members) and played multiple roles as part of the team that grew the organization into one of the largest progressive Jewish organizations in the world. Prior to JVP, Stefanie came up as a grassroots organizer, educator, and public health practitioner inside the global AIDS movement of the early 2000s, and spent about a decade in local and issue-based community organizing toward racial and economic justice before joining JVP full-time.

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What does it take to survive the unimaginable—and then build a life filled with joy?

Singer, songwriter, and multi-instrumentalist Allison Russell shares how she survived childhood abuse, found lifelines in music and chosen family, and learned to put down the pain she’d been carrying and return to her body, her joy, and herself.

- How to stop carrying the pain of what happened to you

- Why chosen family can change—and even save—your life

- How to break cycles so your children inherit something different

- The artists who showed Allison that another life was possible

- Why healing doesn’t mean becoming an “unmarked page”

About Allison:

Allison Russell has spent her career in multiple bands, including Po’ Girl, Our Native Daughters and Birds of Chicago. After a career spent as a gifted multi-instrumentalist, backing numerous other artists, she finally dared to release her solo project in 2021. She made her Opry debut and appeared at the Country Music Hall of Fame and performed at the 2022 GRAMMY’s Premiere Ceremony.

In addition to her four GRAMMY nominations, she has earned three 2022 Americana Award nominations and a win for Album of the Year, two International Folk Music Award wins, a 2022 Juno nomination for ‘Songwriter of the Year,’ and her first-ever Juno Award win for Contemporary Roots Album of the Year. Russell received two 2021 Americana Awards nominations, won three Canadian Folk Music Awards, two UK Americana Music Awards, and more. She was nominated for Song of the Year and Artist of the Year for the 2023 Americana Awards.

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