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Your Parenting Mojo - Respectful, research-based parenting ideas to help kids thrive

Jen Lumanlan
Your Parenting Mojo - Respectful, research-based parenting ideas to help kids thrive
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  • Episode Summary 02: The Anxious Generation: What Parents Need to Know
    Are you worried that social media is destroying your teen's mental health? You're not alone. Jonathan Haidt's bestselling book The Anxious Generation has parents everywhere wondering if smartphones are rewiring their kids' brains and creating a mental health crisis. But before you rush to ban your teen's phone, you need to hear what the research actually shows. This summary episode brings together all the key insights from our 4-part series examining The Anxious Generation. We take a deep dive into the data behind the teen mental health crisis claims, giving you the essential findings in one convenient episode. You'll discover why those alarming statistics might not mean what you think they do, and why the correlation between social media use and teen depression is actually smaller than the correlation between eating potatoes and teen wellbeing. We'll explore what really drives teen mental health struggles, from family relationships to academic pressure, and why control-based approaches like phone bans often backfire, pushing our kids further away when they need us most. Questions This Episode Will Answer Is there really a teen mental health crisis caused by social media? The dramatic statistics may reflect better screening and diagnosis rather than new cases caused by technology. Does social media actually cause teen depression and anxiety? Research shows the correlation is smaller than that between eating potatoes and teen wellbeing, explaining less than 1% of variance. Should parents ban phones at school to help kids focus? Academic declines are tiny and international data doesn't support the phone-blame theory. Will banning my teen's phone at home solve their mental health problems? Control-based approaches often backfire and damage the parent-child relationship. What affects teen mental health more than social media? Family relationships, academic pressure, sleep, economic stress, and school environment have much bigger impacts. How can I help my teen with technology without taking it away? Focus on connection, listen more, work together on limits, and address bigger stressors. Why do teens turn to their phones so much? Phones provide autonomy, connection, and relevance that teens often don't find elsewhere. What do teens who self-harm actually say about social media? Many feel frustrated by attempts to blame social media and see the narrative as wrong and unhelpful. How can I create healthy technology habits without damaging trust? Include your teen in creating rules, focus on relationship building, and address underlying needs. What should I do if I'm worried about my teen's phone use? Look at the whole picture, build connections through listening, and work together on solutions. What You'll Learn in This Episode Why the "hockey stick" graphs showing teen mental health decline might be misleading, and what factors like better screening and diagnostic changes actually explainThe surprising truth about social media research - including why studies showing harm have major flaws and why effect sizes are incredibly smallWhat the international data really shows about teen mental health across countries with similar smartphone adoption ratesWhy family relationships, not screen time, are the strongest predictor of teen wellbeing according to emergency room dataHow control-based approaches like phone bans create sneaking, secrecy, and damaged trust instead of healthier habitsThe real reasons teens turn to phones - and how to address underlying needs for autonomy, connection, and...
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  • 250: The Anxious Generation Review (Part 4): Should we ban cell phones at home?
    In Part 1, we looked at the evidence for the teen 'mental health crisis.' In Part 2, we reviewed the evidence for whether social media is causing the so-called 'teen mental health crisis. In Part 3, we began looking at what to do about the effects of phones on kids - starting with school cell phone bans. If you've read The Anxious Generation or heard about Dr. Jean Twenge's forthcoming book 10 Rules for Raising Kids in a High-Tech World, you might be wondering whether it's time to implement strict family phone rules and teenage social media limits in your home. These digital parenting experts promise clear solutions: you're in charge, no phones in bedrooms, no social media until 16. But what happens when these teenage phone rules meet the reality of family life? In this final episode of our Anxious Generation series, we explore why traditional approaches to limit social media time often backfire spectacularly - and what effective digital parenting looks like instead. You'll discover why rigid teenage mobile phone rules can actually push kids further away from you, how punishment-based approaches to social media teens mirror the failed DARE program, and why the child who follows rules perfectly at home might be the one taking bigger risks when they're finally on their own. We'll also share practical, relationship-based alternatives that help you address real concerns about teenage social media use while building trust and connection with your child. Questions this episode will answer How do you set social media limits with your teen? Focus on collaborative conversations about how technology affects them, rather than imposing rigid teenage social media limits without their input. Should social media be limited for teens? Blanket restrictions often backfire; effective digital parenting involves understanding individual needs and working together on healthy boundaries. How to limit cellphone use for teenager without damaging trust? Use connection-first approaches that explore their experiences rather than immediately jumping to restrictive family phone rules. How much time should a teenager spend on their phone? The answer varies by individual; focus on how social media affects your teen rather than arbitrary time limits. How to stop teenage phone addiction using collaborative methods? Address underlying needs that drive excessive use while maintaining open dialogue about concerning content and working together on solutions. Why is it important for parents to guide children on the internet? Teens internet safety requires ongoing conversation and support, not just restrictions, to help them navigate digital challenges independently. Should parents have control over their child's social media? Effective parenting social media approaches balance safety concerns with respecting teens' growing autonomy and need for peer connection. What you'll learn in this episode Why traditional family phone rules and "you're in charge" digital parenting approaches often strengthen the very behaviors you're trying to...
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  • 249: The Anxious Generation Review (Part 3): Should we ban cell phones in school?
    This is the third in our series of episodes on Jonathan Haidt's book The Anxious Generation. In Part 1, we looked at the evidence for the teen 'mental health crisis.' In Part 2, we reviewed the evidence for whether social media is causing the so-called 'teen mental health crisis. In this episode, we begin looking at what to do about the effects of phones on kids - starting with school cell phone bans. Phone bans are spreading like wildfire across America, with 21 states either studying or already enforcing restrictions, up from none just a few years ago. But before you advocate for - or against - a ban at your child's school, you need to hear what the research actually reveals. This episode examines real studies from Denmark, England, and Hungary, plus the eye-opening results from schools using those tamper-proof Yonder pouches that promise to solve everything. You'll discover why the "golden age" of unsupervised childhood play that experts want us to return to wasn't actually golden for most kids. More importantly, you'll learn what's really driving students to their phones: unmet needs for choice, agency, and genuine connection. Through a fascinating deep-dive into one teacher's blog post about his school's phone ban, you'll see how current approaches may be missing the point entirely, and what students themselves say would actually help them engage more in school. Which states are banning cell phones in schools? 21 states are currently studying or have already enforced cell phone bans, including Florida, Louisiana, Virginia, Indiana, Oklahoma, North Dakota, and New York. Are cell phone bans in schools effective for improving academic performance? Research shows mixed results with only tiny improvements on test scores, and most studies don't control for other factors that could explain the changes. Does banning phones in school improve students' mental health? Studies from multiple countries found no significant improvements in student anxiety, depression, or overall wellbeing from cell phone restrictions. Are cell phone bans in schools a good idea? The evidence suggests that school cell phone bans address symptoms rather than root causes - students turn to phones because their needs for autonomy and connection aren't being met. What happens when schools try to enforce cell phones being banned in schools? Students find creative workarounds: stabbing through security pouches, buying unlock magnets, bringing decoy phones, and creating underground phone-sharing economies. Why do students want their phones during school hours? Research shows students use phones to meet basic psychological needs for choice, agency, and genuine connection that traditional classrooms often fail to provide. What you'll learn in this episode The real data on school cell phone ban effectiveness - examining studies from Denmark, England, Hungary, and the U.S. that reveal surprising results about academic and mental health outcomes Which states are leading the cell phone ban movement - a breakdown of the 21 states implementing or studying restrictions, from Florida's pioneering ban to New York's upcoming policies Why current approaches to cell phones being banned in schools may backfire - discover how students circumvent Yondr pouches and other enforcement methods, and what this reveals about their...
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  • 248: The Anxious Generation Review (Part 2): Does Social Media Actually Cause Kids’ Depression and Anxiety?
    In Part 1 of this mini-series looking at Jonathan Haidt's book The Anxious Generation, we discovered that the teen mental health crisis might not be as dramatic as The Anxious Generation claims - and that changes in diagnosis and coding could be inflating the numbers. But even if we accept that teens' struggles have increased somewhat, the next crucial question is: what's actually causing the change? Jonathan Haidt is adamant that social media causes depression and anxiety in teenagers. He claims that "dozens of experiments" prove social media use is a CAUSE, not just a correlate, of mental health problems. But when you dig into the studies, as we do in this episode, we'll see that the 'causal' data is nowhere near as strong as Haidt claims. We'll examine the experimental evidence behind social media and teen mental health claims, reveal why leading researchers compare social media effects on teens to eating potatoes, and uncover what factors actually explain 99% of youth mental health outcomes. Because if we're going to spend time and energy helping our kids, we want to make sure we're spending it doing things that will actually help. Questions This Episode Will AnswerDoes social media really cause teen depression and anxiety? Research shows correlation, not proven causation, with social media effects on teens explaining less than 1% of wellbeing, similar to the effect of eating potatoes. (Some researchers argue that this is still important enough to pay attention to - the episode explores why.) Why do I keep hearing that social media is harmful if the research is weak? Many (but not all) social media studies find some evidence of harm, but when you look at the methodology this isn't surprising - researchers do things like sending participants daily reminders that "limiting social media is good for you," and then asking them how much social media they've consumed and how they feel. It's hard to draw strong conclusions from this data! How can different studies on social media show opposite results? Researchers studying teen social media use can get completely different results from the same data depending on how they choose to analyze it. The episode looks at those choices and what they mean for understanding whether social media causes kids' depression and anxiety. Is limiting my teen's social media use actually going to help them? Current evidence suggests that some kids who use social media a lot are vulnerable to experiencing depression and anxiety, and limiting their use specifically may be protective. There is little evidence to support the idea that blanket bans on kids' social media/smart phone usage will result in dramatic improvements in youth mental health, and focusing on issues that are more clearly connected to mental health would likely have a greater positive impact. What You'll Learn in This Episode How most social media research creates results that don't tell us what we want to know (but then reports the results as if they do) How the same teen mental health data can be analyzed to support opposite conclusions about social media effects on teens What family relationships, academic pressure, and economic stress reveal about the real drivers of youth mental health issues How social media and teen mental health correlations explain the same amount
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  • 247: The Anxious Generation Review (Part 1): Is There Really a Mental Health Crisis in the U.S.?
    Are we really facing an unprecedented mental health crisis in America, or have we been misreading the data? As parents everywhere grapple with The Anxious Generation's claims that smartphones are rewiring our children's brains, this episode takes a closer look at what the research actually shows about youth mental health trends. If you've read the book, you've seen those alarming hockey-stick graphs showing dramatic increases in teen depression and anxiety in teenagers. But what if those "surges" aren't quite what they seem? What if changes in how we diagnose and track mental health conditions are inflating the crisis? And what happens when a community with everything that should protect kids - tight social bonds, involved parents, shared values - still experiences devastating teen suicide rates? This deep-dive analysis examines the evidence behind Gen Z mental health claims, investigates whether youth depression statistics show the dramatic surge described in The Anxious Generation, and asks the crucial question: are we fighting the right battle when it comes to protecting our children's wellbeing? Questions This Episode Will AnswerIs there really a mental health crisis in America? While youth mental health challenges are real, the "crisis" narrative may be overblown due to changes in diagnostic practices and data collection methods since 2010. When did the mental health crisis start according to The Anxious Generation? Haidt claims the crisis began between 2010-2015 with smartphone adoption, but the data shows more complex patterns that predate this timeline. What are the signs of youth depression and anxiety that parents should watch for? The episode explores how reported signs of youth depression and anxiety have increased, but examines whether this reflects actual increases or better identification and reporting. We look at the classic signs of depression and anxiety in teens, as well as what to look for in teens who might 'seem fine.' How many teens have mental health issues compared to previous generations? Teen mental health statistics show increases, but when examined closely, many changes are smaller than dramatic graphs suggest. What causes anxiety in teenagers beyond social media? Research shows that other factors may explain larger portions of youth mental health struggles than screen time. What You'll Learn in This Episode How changes in diagnostic criteria and healthcare access may have inflated mental health crisis statistics since 2015 Why teen suicide rates show different patterns than depression rates, and what this means for understanding youth struggles The real story behind those alarming youth depression statistics and why context matters when interpreting data How academic pressure in high-achieving communities can drive teen mental health problems even without social media Why focusing solely on anxiety in teenagers related to screens might miss bigger factors affecting Gen Z mental health What signs of youth depression actually tell us about the scope and causes of teen mental health challenges How different communities experience and conceptualize mental health struggles in ways that challenge universal assumptions Why the timeline of the supposed mental health crisis
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About Your Parenting Mojo - Respectful, research-based parenting ideas to help kids thrive

Parenting is hard…but does it have to be this hard? Wouldn’t it be better if your kids would stop pressing your buttons quite as often, and if there was a little more of you to go around (with maybe even some left over for yourself)? On the Your Parenting Mojo podcast, Jen Lumanlan M.S., M.Ed explores academic research on parenting and child development. But she doesn’t just tell you the results of the latest study - she interviews researchers at the top of their fields, and puts current information in the context of the decades of work that have come before it. An average episode reviews ~30 peer-reviewed sources, and analyzes how the research fits into our culture and values - she does all the work, so you don’t have to! Jen is the author of Parenting Beyond Power: How to Use Connection & Collaboration to Transform Your Family - and the World (Sasquatch/Penguin Random House). The podcast draws on the ideas from the book to give you practical, realistic strategies to get beyond today’s whack-a-mole of issues. Your Parenting Mojo also offers workshops and memberships to give you more support in implementing the ideas you hear on the show. The single idea that underlies all of the episodes is that our behavior is our best attempt to meet our needs. Your Parenting Mojo will help you to see through the confusing messages your child’s behavior is sending so you can parent with confidence: You’ll go from: “I don’t want to yell at you!” to “I’ve got a plan.” New episodes are released every other week - there's content for parents who have a baby on the way through kids of middle school age. Start listening now by exploring the rich library of episodes on meltdowns, sibling conflicts, parental burnout, screen time, eating vegetables, communication with your child - and your partner… and much much more!
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