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The Imperfects

Hugh van Cuylenburg, Ryan Shelton & Josh van Cuylenburg
The Imperfects
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304 episodes

  • The Imperfects

    Zoë Foster Blake - Perimenopause, ADHD & Everything That Helped with Dr Fatima Khan

    2026-10-11 | 1h 30 mins.
    This is not your mother’s perimenopause.
    💌 To join our journaling club, subscribe to my imperfect email - https://www.theimperfects.com.au/sign-up-to-our-newsletter/
    Joined by guest host Zoë Foster Blake, and Dr Fatima Khan, we’re diving head first into perimenopause: the what, the why, and the how-the-f**k to deal with it.
    Typically beginning in your late 30’s, and in your brain of all places, perimenopause symptoms include heightened anxiety, irritability, sleep disturbances, brain fog … all things that make you feel further and further away from your best self.
    Beginning 5 -7 years BEFORE your last menstrual period, perimenopause can coincide with postpartum, the most important presentation of your career to date, and the uncovering of neurodivergence, which may have been painstakingly masked until this shift in hormones.
    With the expertise of Dr Fatima, and the lived experience of Zoë, we hope this episode makes you feel seen, less alone, and ready to have THAT conversation with your GP.
    Chapters

    00:00:00 The Truth of Perimenopause [TRAILER]
    00:01:09 The Meet Cute of Zoe Foster Blake and Dr Fatima Khan
    00:06:55 Is this Perimenopause? Early Signs + Symptoms
    00:07:41 Zoe’s Perimenopause Journey: No Sleep, Anxiety, Rage, Repeat.
    00:09:56 Volcanic Rage, Explained
    00:14:59 What Doctor’s Miss: Misdiagnosis + Antidepressants
    00:15:57 Why Your Husband Is Breathing Too Loud
    00:20:18 Perimenopause Mental Health Screening
    00:21:25 Debunking the “You’re Too Young” Myth
    00:23:43 Is it Anxiety? Depression? Perimenopause?
    00:25:26 The Pill, The Mirena + The Modern Woman in Peri
    00:30:44 Loosing Yourself in Peri: Brain Fog + Dementia Fears
    00:32:10 The Importance of Testosterone
    00:36:00 HRT Myths: Re-educating a generation
    00:39:04 A Script for a Script: What to say to your GP
    00:41:12 Perimenopause Is a Multi-Organ Syndrome
    00:46:09 High Achieving Women + Peri = Shame
    00:46:47 When Perimenopause Unmasks Your ADHD
    00:54:26 Trauma Reactivation in Perimenopause
    00:57:17 Pills + Skills: Why HRT Alone Isn’t Enough
    00:58:41 The Longevity of It All
    01:00:30 Nutrition

    📚Things to read
    Group Chat, by Zoë Foster Blake - https://bit.ly/4efqR70
    Hormone Health is Mental Health, by Dr Fatima Khan - https://bit.ly/4j6G2Ts
    💻Things to check out
    Australasian Menopause Society - menopause.org.au
    Meno-D questionnaire - https://bit.ly/3Toj3sN
    Zela Wellbeing - https://bit.ly/4ARGFXu
    🎧Imperfects episodes for MORE on hormones
    Zoë Foster Blake - Zero Lucks Given - https://bit.ly/4y8xwHx
    Dr Louise Newson - Maybe it’s Menopause - https://bit.ly/4i7xM3F
    Dr Louise Newson - It’s Hormones. Period. - https://bit.ly/47ya9w2
    🩷To host your own Vulnerabilitea House, purchase here - theimperfects.com.au/shop
    🩵To purchase our journal (or your novel) My Imperfect Life, click here - theimperfects.com.au/shop
    🩵To join our subscriber community, A Little More Imperfects, follow this link - patreon.com/theimperfects
    🩷 AND you can subscribe to A Little More Imperfects through Apple Podcasts http://apple.co/theimperfects
    The Imperfects is not a licensed mental health service and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, treatment or assessment. The advice given in this episode is general in nature, but if you’re struggling, please see a healthcare professional, or call lifeline on 13 11 14.
  • The Imperfects

    How OCD Hijacks Your Brain with Angie Greene

    2026-10-04 | 1h 10 mins.
    Angie’s OCD obsessions are that she has committed her worst, most insidious, fears.
    💌 Join 9,500+ others in our newsletter community - https://www.theimperfects.com.au/sign-up-to-our-newsletter/
    Officially diagnosed with obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD) when she was 19, some of Angie’s earliest memories are of obsessions, compulsions and seeking reassurance.
    Joining us in the studio, Angie talks to Hugh, Ryan and Josh about the reality of living with OCD, how she navigates particularly bad episodes with her partner, and why she wouldn’t wish it on her worst enemy
    Angie explains false memories, and the lengths she has gone to seek reassurance, and finally, why it is so important to her to create something that helps people feel less alone.
    In amongst all of the OCD chat, Hugh asks Angie about her anti-discrimination work and the beautiful story of where that passion came from.
    Chapters

    00:00:00 – Trailer
    00:01:27 – Angie + Hugh don’t do small talk
    00:03:46 – Why Angie accepted an ARIA on behalf of Sia
    00:05:45 – Growing Up in Sporting Royalty
    00:07:45 – Why Angie’s Brother Came Out To Her
    00:10:41 – “I’m Crying Because I Could Have Helped”
    00:13:21 – Why Feeling Safe To Be Yourself Matters
    00:15:02 – Angie’s Moral Compass: Where Does It Come From?
    00:18:17 – OCD: Obsessions, Compulsions + Reassurance
    00:20:45 – OCD Stereotypes vs Reality
    00:22:52 – Feeling Like A Bad Kid
    00:24:52 – Why OCD Makes Your Excruciatingly Self-Aware
    00:28:02 – Examples of Intrusive Thoughts
    00:30:23 – Invisible Compulsions: Kissing, Hugging, Incest
    00:32:19 – Relationship OCD: Constant Fear of Cheating On Your Partner
    00:34:37 – OCD False Memories: How The Brain Builds ‘Evidence’
    00:36:10 – Why Reassurance Seeking Never Brings Relief
    00:39:13 – What It’s Like Loving Someone With OCD
    00:41:40 – What OCD Has Cost Angie: Peace, Presence + Precious Moments
    00:50:08 – Why Getting The Right Treatment Was Lifechanging
    00:54:52 – What Exposure Response Prevention (ERP) Actually Looks Like
    00:57:02 – How To Support Someone With OCD
    00:59:01 – How Angie and Her Husband Manage OCD Episodes
    01:02:53 – Finding Your People Through OCD
    01:05:15 – How To Respond When Someone Tells You They Have OCD
    01:08:24 – Tips for Supporting Someone Who Has OCD

    🧠If you, or someone you know, has been diagnosed with or thinks they may have OCD, these are some great resources. In an emergency, always call 000.
    OCD BOUNCE - https://ocd.org.au
    OCD WA - https://www.ocdwa.com.au
    International OCD Foundation - https://iocdf.org
    The Joy Thief, by Penny Moodie - https://bit.ly/3VJaKZ4
    It’s Not What You Think podcast - https://bit.ly/4iZppcj
    LifeLine - 13 11 14
    🫖Imperfects episodes mentioned in this episode
    Penny Moodie - Obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD) - https://bit.ly/4jxTPTd
    Penny Moodie’s New Book - OCD & Finding Joy Again - https://bit.ly/4rGXkJa
    Rick Davies - Living with OCD - https://bit.ly/4hxuLZY
    Issac Humphries - Coming Out On Court - https://bit.ly/3VZDHQA
    💻Things to check out
    Andrea Wallace’s Website - https://wonderpsychology.com
    Angie Greene’s Website - angiegreene.com.au
    🩷To host your own Vulnerabilitea House, purchase here - theimperfects.com.au/shop
    🩵To purchase our journal (or your novel) My Imperfect Life, click here - theimperfects.com.au/shop
    🩵To join our subscriber community, A Little More Imperfects, follow this link - patreon.com/theimperfects
    🩷 AND you can subscribe to A Little More Imperfects through Apple Podcasts http://apple.co/theimperfects
    The Imperfects is not a licensed mental health service and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, treatment or assessment. The advice given in this episode is general in nature, but if you’re struggling, please see a healthcare professional, or call lifeline on 13 11 14.
  • The Imperfects

    Luke Bateman - Gambling With My Life

    2026-09-27 | 1h 16 mins.
    Mid 20's and $250,000 in debt. Gripped by a gambling addiction. How do you recover?
    💌 Join 9,500+ others in our newsletter community - https://www.theimperfects.com.au/sign-up-to-our-newsletter/
    From the outside, it looked like Luke Bateman was living the dream: a professional NRL career with ludicrous pay checks and sponsorship deals.
    On the inside, Luke was battling a crippling gambling addiction, deepening depression and a widening chasm between the character he was playing, and his true authentic self.
    With immense courage, honesty and vulnerability, Luke takes Hugh, Ryan and Josh through the ups and downs of his recovery journey. Luke unpicks the difference between unconditional love and conditional help from his parents, and why his time in rehab was the best thing that ever happened to him.
    Luke speaks about how his journey with addiction impacted his relationship with his mum, and the gratitude he feels for her now, and how learning about internal family systems changed his life forever.
    Luke, you are such a beautiful person. Thank you for joining us today.
    This episode discusses gambling addiction and suicidal ideation. Please take care when listening.
    This episode is part of the BE HOPE Podcast Takeover, bringing podcasts around the world together to explore the themes of hope and how we can continue to make progress in a rapidly changing world - https://globalgoals.org/behope/
    🚨If you, or someone you know is struggling with a gambling addiction
    Call LifeLine - 13 11 14
    Register at BetStop - betstop.gov.au
    Gamblers Anonymous - https://bit.ly/3TJ1C6d
    Gambling Help Online - gamblinghelponline.org.au
    In an emergency, always call 000
    🩵To hear our chat with Luke about The Manosphere and to join our subscriber community, A Little More Imperfects, follow this link - patreon.com/theimperfects
    0:00 – Trailer: $250K of Gambling Debt
    1:26 – Be Hope Podcast Takeover Announcement
    4:15 – Luke Bateman doesn’t fit in a box
    6:06 – Growing up ‘soft’ in Rural Queensland
    10:03 – Hiding Books from the Boys
    17:11 – The Shame of Reading
    19:22 – Chasing a Dream to Fill the Void
    22:26 – Money, Drugs & Alcohol in Professional Sport
    27:40 – Lies, Debt & Betting Company ‘VIP’ Treatment
    30:26 – Should Gambling Sponsorship Be Banned?
    31:11 – Rock Bottom
    33:18 – The Phone Call That Saved His Life
    39:45 – Rehab, Recovery + Relinquishing Control
    43:40 – Inside Rehab “Get a Real Addiction”
    47:21 – Recovery Is Not Linear
    50:21 – Internal Family Systems: Healing the exiled child
    56:05 – Generational Masculinity: Why Men Struggle to Connect
    58:19 – Denial + Corporate Greed
    1:03:13 – Luke’s Honesty Policy
    1:06:08 – Unconditional Love vs Conditional Help
    1:10:18 – Sharing Shame with Teammates
    1:11:37 – Luke’s Message to Anyone Struggling Right Now
    1:13:03 – Finding Your Way Back
    🫖Imperfects episodes mentioned on this episode
    Jack’s Gambling Addiction Story - https://bit.ly/4hFQmk1
    📚Things to read
    The Miraculous Journey of Edward Tulane, by Kate DiCamillo - https://bit.ly/46FkS7v
    Keys to the Kingdom, by Garth Nix - https://bit.ly/4AnBxKB
    The Midnight Library, by Matt Haig - https://bit.ly/4d2Ozmx
    No Bad Parts, by Richard C Scharwtz - https://bit.ly/46FSGkU
    You Are The One You’ve Been Waiting For, by Richard C Schwartz - https://bit.ly/3Tp0gx8
    🎧Things to listen to
    In The Good Books with Luke Bateman I Matt Haig: Writing What You Need to Hear - https://bit.ly/4jjvBvK
    📱Things to check out
    Luke’s Instagram (and his thoughts on male silence) - https://bit.ly/46AnIuy
    🩷To host your own Vulnerabilitea House, purchase here - theimperfects.com.au/shop
    🩵To purchase our journal (or your novel) My Imperfect Life, click here - theimperfects.com.au/shop
    🩷 AND you can subscribe to A Little More Imperfects through Apple Podcasts http://apple.co/theimperfects
    The Imperfects is not a licensed mental health service and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, treatment or assessment. The advice given in this episode is general in nature, but if you’re struggling, please see a healthcare professional, or call lifeline on 13 11 14.
    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
  • The Imperfects

    Dr Emily - The Phenomenon That Is Imposter Syndrome

    2026-09-20 | 1h 11 mins.
    Do you live in fear of being found out as a fraud? That despite your years of competency, achievement and high performance someone will uncover the truth?
    Well, you’re in the right place. Our resident psychologist Dr Emily Musgrove is here to tell you that your imposter syndrome is nothing to be afraid of. In fact, it’s not even a syndrome.
    💌 Get practical take-aways from this episode, and join 9,400+ others in our newsletter community - https://www.theimperfects.com.au/sign-up-to-our-newsletter/
    To get a little bit meta, Dr Emily explains that knowing that you don’t know everything, is a good thing. Especially if you’re starting a new role, or trying something for the first time.
    HOWEVER, the long-term consequences of the imposter cycle such as perfectionism, overcompensation, burnout, or even avoidance and procrastination, may impact your willingness to say yes to new opportunities, such as going for that promotion or asking for support.
    In this episode, Dr Emily asks Hugh, Ryan and Josh to think about the balance of their competence and confidence, and provides them (and you!) with four practical strategies for combatting this pesky phenomenon.
    And then, a weird amount of chat about Vlad the Impaler.
    0:00 – An Emisode!
    2:41 – Adam Grant is not an imposter
    5:11 – Origins of Imposter Syndrome
    6:45 – ‘Syndrome’ is the wrong word
    8:19 – It all comes back to belonging
    10:39 – How common is imposter syndrome?
    12:20 – Fear of being found out as a fraud
    15:16 – The evolutionary psychology of belonging and self-doubt
    16:35 – Is self-doubt actually healthy?
    17:42 – Is your confidence a mask?
    18:57 – The Dunning-Kruger Effect
    23:15 – The more you know ….
    25:12 – Competence vs confidence
    26:29 – The Imposter Cycle: anxiety, perfectionism, luck
    32:09 – Becoming your own favourite artist
    35:55 – Avoidance, procrastination + self-fulfilling prophecies
    38:29 – Long term consequences ft. Hugh’s anus
    45:26 – Authenticity as the antidote
    46:22 – Less growth, less promotions
    48:52 – Strategy 1: write down your skills
    49:53 – Strategy 2: name your shame
    51:40 – Supporting a friend with imposter phenomenon
    52:29 – Self-doubt in a new role is a good sign
    57:12 – Strategy 3: mentor a near peer
    1:00:38 – Strategy 4: celebrate your success
    1:02:57 – Creating a good workplace culture
    1:04:06 – Belonging is good for business
    1:06:25 – Want more on belonging?
    Dr Em, thanks for joining us.
    🫖Imperfects episodes mentioned on this episode
    Adam Grant - The Potential of Your Potential - https://bit.ly/4jc0DFM
    Dr Emily - We’re Longing for Belonging - https://bit.ly/4yElLJp
    Rana Hussain - Belonging for Connection - http://bit.ly/4odhGY8
    Esther Perel - It’s Not Them, It’s You - https://bit.ly/4yxgljs
    🎧Things to listen to
    The Curiosity Shop with Brene Brown and Adam Grant - https://bit.ly/4gT05mW
    📖Things to read
    Hidden Potential, by Adam Grant - https://bit.ly/4AemQcv
    Hardwiring Happiness, by Rick Hanson - https://bit.ly/3T6IhM0
    📺 Things to watch
    Mad Men - https://bit.ly/4cLB6zx
    🩷To host your own Vulnerabilitea House, purchase here - theimperfects.com.au/shop
    🩵To purchase our journal (or your novel) My Imperfect Life, click here - theimperfects.com.au/shop
    🩵To join our subscriber community, A Little More Imperfects, follow this link - patreon.com/theimperfects
    🩷 AND you can subscribe to A Little More Imperfects through Apple Podcasts http://apple.co/theimperfects
    The Imperfects is not a licensed mental health service and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, treatment or assessment. The advice given in this episode is general in nature, but if you’re struggling, please see a healthcare professional, or call lifeline on 13 11 14.
    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
  • The Imperfects

    Andy Lee - DO NOT Listen To This Episode!

    2026-09-13 | 1h 9 mins.
    When he was 15, Andy Lee’s mum forgot who he was.
    💌 Join 9,400+ others in our newsletter community - https://www.theimperfects.com.au/sign-up-to-our-newsletter/
    Given only two weeks to live, Andy tells Hugh, Ryan and Josh how this news impacted his family, impacted his childhood, and continues to impact his sense of self.
    And then, we’re going all the way back to the early days of Radio Karate, and Hamish & Andy.
    In a long overdue conversation (recorded, of course), Ryan and Andy chat about their own friendship dynamic and why they both felt like the odd one out.
    Getting down to business, Andy and Ryan discuss how a bunch of 20 year old guys made tough financial decisions while trying to remain mates, how they learnt to give constructive criticism to each other, and with the blessing of hindsight, how they feel about that time now.
    Andy, we’ve been waiting for this episode longer than a baker with his oven off.
    0:00 – 2 years of secret vocal coaching
    4:35 – HOW long for one cartoon episode?
    5:48 – When Andy met Hamish (and Ryan)
    9:39 – The impact of getting cancelled after 5 episodes
    10:08 – The best advice Andy received
    14:07 – Jealousy, Jealousy
    20:25 – The Four Way Split of Hamish & Andy
    23:42 – Should we be recording this?
    25:10 – Social media has replaced the paparazzo
    26:11 – Andy’s nude photo scandal
    30:23 – Inspiration and renegotiation
    36:55 – The Vulnerabilitea House
    38:02 – When your mum is given two weeks to live
    40:30 – Rapid deterioration and rush to hospital
    43:28 – Taking on the parent role at 15
    46:04 – Furious at the new normal
    49:09 – Why “Don’t Worry, It’ll Be Fine” is the worst thing to say
    54:36 – Andy’s Dad’s incredible sacrifice
    58:20 – The Lee Gazette
    1:00:50 – Why we should talk about will’s
    🫖Imperfects episodes mentioned on this episode
    Ryan Shelton - Shame, Jealousy & Purpose - https://bit.ly/4A230B5
    📺 Things to watch
    Institute of Sayings from Real Stories - https://bit.ly/4xBJHgq
    Do Not Watch This Show! - https://bit.ly/4cAwlIZ
    New Zealand Spy - https://bit.ly/4hdjPBI
    🎧Things to listen to
    Andy Lee on Falling Upwards with Kate Langbroek - https://bit.ly/4yucp30
    🩷To host your own Vulnerabilitea House, purchase here - theimperfects.com.au/shop
    🩵To purchase our journal (or your novel) My Imperfect Life, click here - theimperfects.com.au/shop
    🩵To join our subscriber community, A Little More Imperfects, follow this link - patreon.com/theimperfects
    🩷 AND you can subscribe to A Little More Imperfects through Apple Podcasts http://apple.co/theimperfects
    The Imperfects is not a licensed mental health service and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, treatment or assessment. The advice given in this episode is general in nature, but if you’re struggling, please see a healthcare professional, or call lifeline on 13 11 14.
    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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About The Imperfects
We’re all imperfect. On this podcast, founder of The Resilience Project Hugh van Cuylenburg, his good friend Ryan Shelton, and only one of their brothers, Josh van Cuylenburg, talks to a variety of interesting people who vulnerably share their own struggles and imperfections, or expertly pass on their wisdom on the subject of imperfection. Whether it’s in The Vulnerabilitea House, The Academy of Imperfection, or with our very own psychologist, Dr Emily, The Imperfects are here to find some valuable takeaways we can all apply to our own imperfect lives.
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