PodcastsEducationThe Imperfects

The Imperfects

Hugh van Cuylenburg, Ryan Shelton & Josh van Cuylenburg
The Imperfects
Latest episode

283 episodes

  • The Imperfects

    Joel Pearson - I Think, Therefore AI

    2026-05-24 | 1h 30 mins.
    In the age of AI, do you feel that your future is more uncertain?
    💌Join 7,500+ people getting our takeaways and favourite moments from this episode in our weekly newsletter - http://bit.ly/45NyQDy
    In today’s Academy of Imperfection, we’re joined by Dr Joel Pearson; a neurofuturist, whose work centres around predicting how AI will impact every aspect of our lives from now on.
    While many of us (us included) first and foremost imagine the impacts of AI in a tech-revolution-y, robot butler-y, terminator-adjacent way, this episode goes deeper.
    Joel discusses how young people are forming attachments with AI companions and how we might see, perhaps the first generation in known history with a lower IQ than the one beforehand.
    We talk about the tangible and interconnected mental health impacts that this major societal disruption will have, and Hugh and Josh ask how in the world can we broach this topic with our kids?
    BUT, this episode isn’t all doom and gloom. Joel is a tech-optimist, after all.
    We talk to Joel about how we can foster human connection, and continue to develop our critical thinking skills, whilst not turning away from AI altogether.
    Joel, this has been invaluable.
    If you want to watch this full video on YouTube, follow this link - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GPGa6heppjE
    0:00 – The episode we’ve been putting off
    10:10 – The only certainty is disruption
    14:15 – Impact of AI on the brain
    21:23 – Rewards and moral responsibility
    27:11 – A scary mental health spiral
    30:31 – Think of the children
    35:10 – You may now kiss the AI
    45:06 – Purposeful Utopia
    58:42 – Seeing is no longer believing
    1:02:21 – The Roadmap to AI
    1:11:35 – Finding Motivation in Limbo
    1:18:15 – Let’s Stack Some Habits
    🫖Imperfects episodes mentioned in this episode
    Dr Emily - Acceptance, That’s Radical - (1:22:53) - https://bit.ly/4dW7Bfa
    Dr Emily - The Certainty of Uncertainty - (1:22:53) - https://bit.ly/3RTAjVl
    James Clear - Down The Habit Hole - (1:22:00) - https://bit.ly/4wIg5xV
    📖 Things to read
    The Intuition Toolkit by Dr Joel Pearson - (3:18) - https://bit.ly/4v5NnFM
    Matt Shumer App Development Industry Blog - (27:11) - https://bit.ly/4uo65rY
    💻Things to check out
    Joel’s website - https://bit.ly/4upBURa
    Tristan Harris’ Center for Human Technology - (1:25:40) - https://bit.ly/4wGrFJZ
    Figure Three Robotics - (42:51) - https://bit.ly/42J2Uiz
    📺 Things to watch
    House of Dynamite - (26:21) - https://bit.ly/4uw5PYg
    🩷To host your own Vulnerabilitea House, purchase here - http://bit.ly/4lyuuWz
    🩵To purchase our journal (or your novel) My Imperfect Life, click here - http://bit.ly/4lyuuW
    🩵To join our subscriber community, A Little More Imperfects, follow this link - http://bit.ly/4mqunxu
    🩷 AND you can subscribe to A Little More Imperfects through Apple Podcasts too, here - http://apple.co/theimperfects
    The Imperfects is not a licensed mental health service and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, treatment or assessment. The advice given in this episode is general in nature, but if you’re struggling, please see a healthcare professional, or call lifeline on 13 11 14.

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
  • The Imperfects

    Dr Emily - What To Do With Envy

    2026-05-17 | 1h 19 mins.
    What is your envy telling you?
    💌Join 7,000+ people getting our takeaways and favourite moments from this episode in our weekly newsletter - http://bit.ly/45NyQDy
    Dr Emily Musgrove, our resident psychologist, is back in the studio to talk about the green-eyed monster, and more importantly, how we can work with it to incorporate more gratitude, appreciation and awareness into our lives (hallelujah).
    Founded in the evolutionary practice of assessing our status in comparison with others, envy comes from the feeling of lacking something that someone else has.
    In what may have been an adaptive function for a cave person to secure their basic needs, our brains are not equipped for the intense comparison fed to us via social media.
    Dr Emily chats to Hugh, Ryan and Josh about the layered experience of envy, and how often, it stems from feeling not-enough or unworthy.
    Of course, Dr Emily brings the strategies. We explore how to work with envy in our own lives, and how to acknowledge it in the lives of our friends and family to protect important relationships.
    Dr Em, we’ll see you for the sequel on jealousy soon.
    To watch the full episode: https://youtu.be/B7acUnoekSc
    0:00 – Envy vs Jealousy 9:08 – Keeping up with the Jones’ 8:16 – A message around ‘enoughness’ 25:12 – The energy of being a hater 36:50 – A deep longing for a difference experience 42:13 – On the flip side 52:45 - Acknowledge the hard 59:18 – The social emotion 1:07:18 – Working with envy
    🫖Imperfects episodes mentioned in this episode
    Dave Hughes - Me, Myself & Ego - https://bit.ly/4ua3mSP
    Hamish Blake - Let’s Talk About Self-Doubt - https://bit.ly/4fl7omR
    Dr Emily - Acceptance, That’s Radical - https://bit.ly/4ugEHwe
    💻Things to check out
    Leon Festinger’s Social Comparison Theory - https://bit.ly/4npfIE5
    📺Things to watch
    ‘Onesies’ Bluey episode - https://bit.ly/4eGTqLS
    📖Things to read
    The Way We Are, by Hugh Mackay - https://bit.ly/4wsJuff
    Status Anxiety, by Alain de Botton - https://bit.ly/4tvbGeL
    🩷To host your own Vulnerabilitea House, purchase here - http://bit.ly/4lyuuWz
    🩵To purchase our journal (or your novel) My Imperfect Life, click here - http://bit.ly/4lyuuW
    🩵To join our subscriber community, A Little More Imperfects, follow this link - http://bit.ly/4mqunxu
    🩷 AND you can subscribe to A Little More Imperfects through Apple Podcasts too, here - http://apple.co/theimperfects
    The Imperfects is not a licensed mental health service and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, treatment or assessment. The advice given in this episode is general in nature, but if you’re struggling, please see a healthcare professional, or call lifeline on 13 11 14.

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
  • The Imperfects

    Reuben Williams - What Happened After My Sexual Assault

    2026-05-10 | 1h 29 mins.
    Can you think of a moment that turned your life into ‘before’ and ‘after’?
    For Reuben Williams, that moment was not his sexual assault, rather, the decision he made in the aftermath to pursue justice.
    💌Join 7,000+ people getting our takeaways and favourite moments from this episode in our weekly newsletter - http://bit.ly/45NyQDy
    Incredibly vulnerable, Reuben talks Hugh, Ryan and Josh through what it felt like in the 24 hours after the assault, how he knew, undeniably, what happened to him was wrong, and why he chose to report it.
    We talk about the intricacies of healing, privilege, and having a world class difficult conversation with the ones you love.
    And then, Josh asks Reuben how you can best show up for your friends who might be going through something similar.
    Reuben, it was such a privilege having you in the studio.
    If you want to watch this full episode on YouTube, follow this link - https://youtu.be/okQnOwV2MJE
    0:00 – An Imperfect Meet-Cute
    6:44 – The night of the assault
    19:28 – Identity, privilege, and idealism
    33:09 – Family Dynamics
    41:16 - World Class Difficult Conversation
    47:39 – The Waiting Game
    59:15 – Reuben’s Letter
    1:04:24 – A divine test
    1:10:30 – Just help
    1:18:46 – How can you be a better friend?
    🫖Imperfects episodes mentioned on this episode
    Rana Hussain - Belonging For Connection - https://bit.ly/49voquJ
    🎧Things to listen to
    SportsGrad Podcast - https://bit.ly/42V75HT
    💻Things to check out
    SportsGrad - https://bit.ly/49p2hOD
    🚨If you’d like to reach out to someone for support after listening to this episode, here are some great places to start
    1800 RESPECT
    Centre Against Sexual Assault - 03 5441 0430 (Mon-Fri 9am-5pm) OR 1800 806 292 (Sexual Assault Crisis Line)
    🩷To host your own Vulnerabilitea House, purchase here - http://bit.ly/4lyuuWz
    🩵To purchase our journal (or your novel) My Imperfect Life, click here - http://bit.ly/4lyuuW
    🩵To join our subscriber community, A Little More Imperfects, follow this link - http://bit.ly/4mqunxu
    🩷 AND you can subscribe to A Little More Imperfects through Apple Podcasts too, here - http://apple.co/theimperfects
    The Imperfects is not a licensed mental health service and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, treatment or assessment. The advice given in this episode is general in nature, but if you’re struggling, please see a healthcare professional, or call lifeline on 13 11 14.

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
  • The Imperfects

    Jan Fran - Wars For Your Attention

    2026-05-03 | 1h 10 mins.
    In a world so divided by hate, how can we choose to show love?
    This week we are joined by journalist Jan Fran, who unpacks the horror of witnessing horror.
    💌Join 6,500+ people getting our takeaways and favourite moments from this episode in our weekly newsletter - http://bit.ly/45NyQDy
    Talking through her unravelling relationship with social media and the utter helplessness she feels watching atrocities cut into 30 second clips, Jan explores how becoming a mother cracked her open in ways she didn’t know possible.
    Joining us in the Vulnerabilitea House to answer every question in the deck (kidding), Jan and Josh discuss the guilt of turning away, and the consequences of leaning in.
    And finally, Jan bonds with the Hugh, Ryan and Josh about the fundamental importance of deliberately creating community.
    Jan, you are remarkable.
    0:00 – Introducing Josh’s housemate
    8:42 – The art of being vulnerable
    17:19 – I wish I could stop going on social media.
    27:13 – Being cracked open
    35:32 – Deliberately building community
    46:39 – Anticipating the Comments
    53:34 – Optimist by will
    If you’d like to watch this full video on YouTube (and see Josh’s Frant banner), follow this link - https://youtu.be/BRoyNdZEZD0
    🫖Imperfects episodes mentioned in this episode
    Dr Edna Lekgabe - New Baby … New Brain … Matrescence - (33:21) - https://bit.ly/48vQZb5
    How (and Why) Ryan Dumped His iPhone - (20:50) - https://bit.ly/4tGRXKj
    💻Things to check out
    The Frant - https://bit.ly/4cSeFaO
    Ette Media - https://bit.ly/4t1OzIw
    🎧 Things to listen to
    We Used To Be Journos - https://bit.ly/4dcAGT9
    📱Things to help you set social media boundaries
    One sec - https://bit.ly/4cEYMpF
    Brick - https://bit.ly/4vXSzfP
    🩷To host your own Vulnerabilitea House, purchase here - http://bit.ly/4lyuuWz
    🩵To purchase our journal (or your novel) My Imperfect Life, click here - http://bit.ly/4lyuuW
    🩵To join our subscriber community, A Little More Imperfects, follow this link - http://bit.ly/4mqunxu
    🩷 AND you can subscribe to A Little More Imperfects through Apple Podcasts too, here - http://apple.co/theimperfects
    The Imperfects is not a licensed mental health service and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, treatment or assessment. The advice given in this episode is general in nature, but if you’re struggling, please see a healthcare professional, or call lifeline on 13 11 14.

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
  • The Imperfects

    Dr Edna Lekgabe - New Baby… New Brain… Matrescence.

    2026-04-26 | 1h 35 mins.
    According to perinatal and reproductive psychiatrist Dr Edna Lekgabe, matrescence is the motherhood equivalent of adolescence. Puberty 2.0, if you will.
    💌Join 6,500+ people getting our takeaways and favourite moments from this episode in our weekly newsletter - http://bit.ly/45NyQDy
    Joining us in the academy of imperfection, Dr Edna explores the cataclysmic identity shift women undergo during motherhood, and how partners can best support them.
    Exploring the impacts of mastrescence with Hugh, Ryan and Josh, Dr Edna breaks down the difference between matrescence, anxiety and depression, and why mental illness is the number one pregnancy complication.
    We’re talking hormonal changes, physiological changes, sociological changes that are SO significant, you can see them in brain scans. Matrescence is messy, a developmental earthquake, and it’s not talked about nearly enough.
    This episode might just break the internet (and your heart) wide open.
    0:00 – Introducing Hugh’s perinatal psychiatrist
    7:30 – Matrescence? Huh?
    21:14 – The biology of baby brain
    34:10 – The difference between matrescence and depression
    40:46 – Reasonable worry vs anxiety disorder
    47:40 – The emergence of neurodivergence
    54:04 – Post-natal depression
    1:00:04 – Matrescence after loss
    1:05:50 – Getting to know a brand new person
    1:11:19 – Can women have it all?
    1:18:32 – On a societal scale
    1:26:12 – The paternal earthquake
    If you want to watch this full episode on YouTube, follow this link -
    🫖 Other Imperfect’s episodes mentioned in this episode
    Bron Lewis - Is It Me or Postnatal Anxiety? - https://bit.ly/4vHn1eh
    📖 Things to read
    Being Female: Reproduction, Power and Change, by Dana Raphael - https://bit.ly/48jC5EO
    The Birth of a Mother, New York Times, by Alexandra Sacks - https://bit.ly/3OjB9tp
    Men at Work: Australia’s Parenthood Trap, Quarterly Essay, by Annabel Crabb - https://bit.ly/4mLE8Hx
    🎧Things to listen to
    Perinatal OCD: When ‘the happiest time of your life’ turns dark - https://bit.ly/48lx8eK
    📺 Things to watch
    Alexandra Sacks TEDTalk on Matrescence - https://bit.ly/4tsBcCt
    💻Things to check out
    Yerkes-Dodson Law: Stress Level - https://bit.ly/4cOT2IO
    peanut x Tommee Tippee campaign on matrescence - https://bit.ly/4mQDicU
    🩷To host your own Vulnerabilitea House, purchase here - http://bit.ly/4lyuuWz
    🩵To purchase our journal (or your novel) My Imperfect Life, click here - http://bit.ly/4lyuuW
    🩵To join our subscriber community, A Little More Imperfects, follow this link - http://bit.ly/4mqunxu
    🩷 AND you can subscribe to A Little More Imperfects through Apple Podcasts too, here - http://apple.co/theimperfects
    The Imperfects is not a licensed mental health service and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, treatment or assessment. The advice given in this episode is general in nature, but if you’re struggling, please see a healthcare professional, or call lifeline on 13 11 14.

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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About The Imperfects
We’re all imperfect. On this podcast, founder of The Resilience Project Hugh van Cuylenburg, his good friend Ryan Shelton, and only one of their brothers, Josh van Cuylenburg, talks to a variety of interesting people who vulnerably share their own struggles and imperfections, or expertly pass on their wisdom on the subject of imperfection. Whether it’s in The Vulnerabilitea House, The Academy of Imperfection, or with our very own psychologist, Dr Emily, The Imperfects are here to find some valuable takeaways we can all apply to our own imperfect lives.
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