WTF - Stories and Advice

Ever wondered why you keep ending up in the same fight, dating the same person in a different body, or working yourself into the ground for people who don't notice? There's a name for it: schemas, and Caroline has been down a rabbit hole on this.
Schemas are the deep emotional patterns that got wired in when you were small and haven't updated since. Abandonment, defectiveness, self-sacrifice, unrelenting standards, mistrust — you'll probably recognise yourself in at least two of these. We walk you through the most common ones, the three ways people cope with them (spoiler: none of them are working), and what actually shifts them — because insight alone is not going to do it.
Schema Quiz
 
https://www.attachmentproject.com/early-maladaptive-schemas/
Also in this one: why making friends as an adult is a whole thing, a Netflix rec that will hook you in one episode, and a genuinely unhinged tangent about UFOs and alien abductions. As you do.
To find more out about Caroline Cranshaw & Daryl Gove 
https://nzhypnotherapy.co.nz/
https://www.darylgove.com/#/
To find out about training in hypnotherapy with us, check out:
https://integrativehypnotherapyinstitute.com
Write to us if you have a question or want us to tell your story at wtfstoriesandadvice@gmail.com
Loved this episode? We literally teach this stuff. Caroline and Daryl run the Integrative Hypnotherapy Institute — an online school for people who want to actually help others (or themselves) with the tools we use every day.
→ Certificate of Clinical Hypnotherapy: https://www.integrativehypnotherapyinstitute.com/offers/GLPdWvBX/checkout
→ Diploma of Integrative Clinical Hypnotherapy: https://www.integrativehypnotherapyinstitute.com/offers/iuR2rLtn
https://www.youtube.com/@HypnosisTraining/
Timestamps:
00:00 — Weekend banter and the birthday curry
05:18 — Why you repeat patterns: schemas explained
09:38 — The common ones: which are yours?
24:12 — Survival modes and how people cope (badly)
30:37 — What actually shifts them
35:16 — Netflix pick, books, and the UFO tangent
42:39 — Outro
Intro Music By Soul (Vlog Music) by Dj Quads https://soundcloud.com/aka-dj-quads
Music promoted by Audio Library https://youtu.be/m0UBmJLv208

In 2006, an ER nurse came home from a twelve-hour shift in Portland, Oregon and walked into the wrong room at the wrong moment. Her husband had arranged a surprise for her. He thought he'd never see her again. He was right — but not for the reasons he expected.






div]:bg-bg-000/50 [&_pre>div]:border-0.5 [&_pre>div]:border-border-400 [&_.ignore-pre-bg>div]:bg-transparent [&_.standard-markdown_:is(p,blockquote,h1,h2,h3,h4,h5,h6)]:pl-2 [&_.standard-markdown_:is(p,blockquote,ul,ol,h1,h2,h3,h4,h5,h6)]:pr-8 [&_.progressive-markdown_:is(p,blockquote,h1,h2,h3,h4,h5,h6)]:pl-2 [&_.progressive-markdown_:is(p,blockquote,ul,ol,h1,h2,h3,h4,h5,h6)]:pr-8"> _*]:min-w-0 gap-3 standard-markdown"> What happened next involves a claw hammer, a hitman who picked the worst possible target, and a sentence to the paramedics that became one of the most quoted lines in American true crime.
Caroline and Daryl tell Susan Kuhnhausen's extraordinary story and then go absolutely everywhere with it — strangulation safety (yes really), celebrity death rumours, self-defence law, the UK unrest, why church might be making a comeback as a third place, and a French film with a gender-swap premise so good they're still thinking about it.
Genuinely wild story, genuinely wild tangents.
To find more out about Caroline Cranshaw & Daryl Gove 
https://nzhypnotherapy.co.nz/
https://www.darylgove.com/#/
https://www.youtube.com/@HypnosisTraining/
To find out about training in hypnotherapy with us, check out:
https://integrativehypnotherapyinstitute.com
Write to us if you have a question or want us to tell your story at wtfstoriesandadvice@gmail.com
Timestamps:
00:00 — Accents, Tourette's, and a Scottish film rec
01:48 — The case begins
06:51 — Strangulation, kink safety, and celebrity rumours
15:46 — The break in the case
22:30 — Self-defence law, riots, and policing
33:27 — Church, faith, and the third place
41:40 — Michael Jackson, the French film, and Sacha Baron Cohen
49:23 — Outro
Intro Music By Soul (Vlog Music) by Dj Quads https://soundcloud.com/aka-dj-quads
Music promoted by Audio Library https://youtu.be/m0UBmJLv208

A 29-year-old writes in about the man she loves, the daughter they share, and the family quietly bleeding him dry. He's stable, he's kind, he's husband material. His parents, on both sides, treat him like a personal cashpoint — and when she gently suggested he stop, they disowned him, called her the problem, and called their baby something much worse. Now there's a grandmother in ICU and the pressure is back on.
Caroline and Daryl get into why "supportive" can quietly turn into "exploited," what actual boundaries look like when a whole family is invested in not having them, and the hard limits she needs to set before she signs a marriage certificate. Plus a tangent about wedding chaos, divorce parties, and the time someone's paperwork went absolutely sideways.
Should she marry him? Listen and find out.
To find more out about Caroline Cranshaw & Daryl Gove 
https://nzhypnotherapy.co.nz/

https://www.darylgove.com/#/

https://www.youtube.com/@HypnosisTraining/

To find out about training in hypnotherapy with us, check out:

https://integrativehypnotherapyinstitute.com


Write to us if you have a question or want us to tell your story at wtfstoriesandadvice@gmail.com

Check out our Alcohol Reduction Course

https://www.ohhellohypnosis.com/offers/LAiJuAJ9/checkout
Timestamps:
00:00 — Therapist voices, Andrew Tate, and a blood orange tangent
05:00 — The letter
23:46 — The advice: boundaries, hard limits, and one big decision
31:29 — Wedding stories and divorce party chaos
41:49 — Final advice and resources
48:15 — Outro
Intro Music By Soul (Vlog Music) by Dj Quads https://soundcloud.com/aka-dj-quads

Music promoted by Audio Library https://youtu.be/m0UBmJLv208

A 43-year-old counsellor writes in with a confession: she grew up poor, earns good money now, doesn't have debt — and has just bought a second chest freezer, a year's supply of olive oil, and accidentally hoarded fourteen bottles of conditioner she didn't know she had. The fuel crisis news has flipped a switch she can't switch back. And the truly humiliating part? She knows exactly what she's doing. She explained the model to a client this week. It didn't help.
Caroline and Daryl get into why knowing isn't enough, why scarcity wounds don't care about your bank balance, and what actually shifts this — including a salary structure that changes everything for self-employed people and a savings account trick that quietly does the heavy lifting. Plus: the builder who accidentally became a marriage counsellor, and the marriage counsellor whose own marriage is held together with string.
To find more out about Caroline Cranshaw & Daryl Gove 

https://nzhypnotherapy.co.nz/

https://www.darylgove.com/#/

https://www.youtube.com/@HypnosisTraining/

To find out about training in hypnotherapy with us, check out:

https://www.integrativehypnotherapyinstitute.com


Write to us if you have a question or want us to tell your story at wtfstoriesandadvice@gmail.com

Check out our Alcohol Reduction Course

https://www.ohhellohypnosis.com/offers/LAiJuAJ9/checkout


Timestamps:
00:00 — Therapists who need therapists (and a builder who became one)
06:31 — The letter
10:02 — Why knowing isn't enough
15:14 — The fixes: salary, savings, and the deeper work
22:19 — Practical anti-shopping moves
23:58 — Recommendations and outro
 
Intro Music By Soul (Vlog Music) by Dj Quads https://soundcloud.com/aka-dj-quads
Music promoted by Audio Library https://youtu.be/m0UBmJLv208

We start with swearing in Spanish and Paris trip plans, then dive into a Reddit story that genuinely floored us.
A 27-year-old guy comes home and finds his fiancée in bed with his own father. He records it, punches his dad, and threatens to send the video round. From there it spirals: he tells his mum, who at first believes the lie that he was the abusive one, until he sends her the proof. He cuts off the whole family, moves out, starts therapy, gets his STD tests back clean, and rebuilds his life in a refurbished cabin. Then the updates keep coming. His mum leaves his dad, and his ex turns up pregnant, with nobody sure if the father is him or his father.
Caroline and Daryl thrash out the big question: can you forgive a betrayal this deep, and should he? Plus a few of our own wild family scandal stories, modern prenatal DNA testing, and the TikTok baby-daddy drama doing the rounds.
We wrap with our recommendations and the usual chaos.
To find more out about Caroline Cranshaw & Daryl Gove 
https://nzhypnotherapy.co.nz/

https://www.darylgove.com/#/

https://www.youtube.com/@HypnosisTraining/

To find out about training in hypnotherapy with us, check out:

https://integrativehypnotherapyinstitute.com
Got a story that beats this one? We'd love to be proven wrong. wtfstoriesandadvice@gmail.com
Check out our Alcohol Reduction Course

https://www.integrativehypnotherapyinstitute.com/offers/LAiJuAJ9/checkout
00:00 Swearing in Spanish
01:01 Paris Trip Plans
02:27 Podcast Intro
03:06 The Fiancé and Father Twist
05:47 Backstory and Red Flags
08:13 Caught on Camera
10:40 The Aftermath
12:56 Telling Mum the Truth
15:34 Cutting Ties
16:55 Therapy and the New Cabin
21:11 Reconnecting With Mum
24:08 Can You Forgive This?
25:50 Our Own Family Scandal Stories
41:31 Wrap Up
Intro Music By Soul (Vlog Music) by Dj Quads https://soundcloud.com/aka-dj-quads

Music promoted by Audio Library https://youtu.be/m0UBmJLv208