LOVERS by shan

• S2 Ep130: No One Talks About How Hard Making Friends As An Adult Is ft. Krista Williams

  Does making friends get harder as you get older?  How the hell do I make friends? This episode is a rerun, and it's STILL very accurate.  According to the American Perspective Survey, May 2021, many people are not satisfied with the size of their friendship group. About half of Americans (51 percent) report they are very satisfied or completely satisfied with the number of friends they have. 30 percent say they are only somewhat satisfied, and 17 percent say they are not too or not at all satisfied with the number of friends they have. If you fall in that range of little to no satisfaction in friendships, here’s what you need to know about creating a bond.  So, how long does it take to make a new friend? - 50 hours before you consider them a casual friend  - 90 hours before becoming real friends  - 200hours- before becoming close friends  source: 'Journal of Social and Personal Relationships'  As the New York Times reported in 2012, there are “three conditions that sociologists since the 1950s have considered crucial to making close friends: proximity; repeated, unplanned interactions; and a setting that encourages people to let their guard down and confide in each other.” Cultivating emotionally intimate relationships, in other words, takes more work than just compliments. In this episode, I sit down with my friends Krista and Tabia, and we talk about our friendships, the ups, downs, and the work it takes to make them work.  A special thank you to Kamil Lewis, LMF,T, and Danielle Bayard-Jacskon, Bumble Friendship Expert, for lending their expertise on forming friendships.  Follow the guests on this episode: Follow Shan: https://www.instagram.com/shanboodram/ http://tiktok.com/shanboody    / @loversbyshan   Follow Krista:  https://www.instagram.com/itskrista/ https://www.instagram.com/almost30podcast/ Follow Tabia: https://www.instagram.com/tabiacharles/ Follow Danielle Bayard-Jackson https://www.instagram.com/daniellebayardjackson/ https://www.instagram.com/friendforward/ Follow Kamil Lewis, LMFT https://www.instagram.com/kamil.lewis/?hl=en https://www.instagram.com/theexpansivegroup/?hl=en https://www.instagram.com/safewordpod/ Advertising & Other Inquiries: [email protected]

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• S2 Ep129: Is a Good Man Good Enough? ft. Miranda Rae Mayo

  What if the love story you were chasing… was never really yours? In this episode, actress Miranda Rae Mayo joins Shan to explore the journey of finding love by letting go of the fantasy. Known for her role on Chicago Fire, Miranda opens up about her current relationship and how she had to release the pressure to be “perfect” to experience a real connection. Together, they explore how love doesn’t always look the way we expected, and why exploring non-monogamy challenged (and expanded) her thoughts around love, security, and partnership. 🔗 Follow Miranda Miranda https://www.instagram.com/mrmayo Follow her exclusive project https://www.instagram.com/hereshecomestv/ Want more Lover? Checkout Shan’s AI trained to give only her advice to you http://loversbyshan.com Sign up to get a free weekly Love Letter from me http://loversbyshan.com/newsletter 💞 Join the Lovers Community: https://www.loversbyshan.com/community Checkout free quizzes and worksheets designed to help you deepen your relationships http://loversbyshan.com/newsletter

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• S2 Ep128: Are They Your Type or Your Trauma Response ft. Anwar White

  What does it mean to date and be in relationships in a trauma-informed way? Are you dating from a place of fear instead of self-worth? In this powerful episode, certified dating and relationship coach Anwar White opens up about his personal journey and why emotional safety is the foundation of any healthy relationship. We explore the crucial question: Can you really date men if you're scared of them, or if deep down, you don't even like them? Whether you're recovering from toxic relationships, navigating dating anxiety, or looking to build confidence and emotional security in love, this episode will give you the tools to understand and honor your safety needs. In this powerful and deeply personal episode, dating coach Anwar White joins Shan to talk about what it means to date with emotional and relational safety at the center. Anwar shares his personal story of leaving an unsafe environment as a child alongside his mother, and how that shaped his deep understanding of safety, trust, and partnership. Now, as a coach helping Black and Brown women find aligned, lasting love, Anwar breaks down the realities of trauma-informed dating, co-regulation, and building standards rooted in self-worth. This conversation also explores the ways our early relationships model love for us, and how watching his mother now thrive in a healthy partnership has become part of Anwar’s full-circle healing and success story. 🔗 Follow Anwar https://www.instagram.com/datingcoachanwar Listen to his podcast: https://open.spotify.com/show/1PTRAwfi9ZPDF6h4BOWXvj Checkout his services https://getyourguycoaching.com/ Want more Lover? Checkout Shan’s AI trained to give only her advice to you http://loversbyshan.com Sign up to get a free weekly Love Letter from me http://loversbyshan.com/newsletter 💞 Join the Lovers Community: https://www.loversbyshan.com/community Checkout free quizzes and worksheets designed to help you deepen your relationships http://loversbyshan.com/newsletter

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• S2 Ep127: What’s the Emotional Tax on Casual Sex? ft. Decisions Decisions

  In this episode, Weezy and Mandii B get real about shedding the pressure to “find the one” and embracing what feels good instead of what looks good on paper, how we need to reverse engineer the way we have casual sex, and how to set yourself up for success while dating and having casual sex. WeezyWTF expands on how sexual liberation goes hand in hand with how you approach and manifest casual sex. Mandii B & Binx open up about surviving sexual assault, and how that experience reshaped their relationships with men in their community. Follow Weezy: @weezywtf Follow Mandii B: @fullcourtpumps Tour Dates: https://nhbtour.com/ Get their book: https://a.co/d/8VY8Tje  Follow Binx: @the_binx Follow Vincent aka Hands of Furey:  Learn more about him: http://www.handsoffurey.com/ Join the community at: loversbyshan.com/community

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• S2 Ep126: Too Many of Us Are Living with High-Functioning Depression ft. Dr. Judith Joseph

  What if numbness is the hidden wound of high-functioning depression? In this episode, Shan sits down with Dr. Judith Joseph, a board-certified psychiatrist, clinical researcher, and internationally recognized mental health advocate. They dive deep into anhedonia, the loss of pleasure or interest in things that once brought you joy, and how it shows up, especially for those living with high-functioning depression. Dr. Joseph expands on how joy is our birthright and how it connects to our biopsychosocial blueprint. Expect insights on: ✨ How high-functioning depression operates ✨ Why anhedonia is so often overlooked ✨ The three-part psycho-socio-biological model that explains it ✨ How to begin reconnecting with your desire and vitality 👑 Follow Dr. Judith Joseph on Instagram: instagram.com/drjudithjoseph 👥 Join the community: loversbyshan.com/community Sign up to get a free weekly Love Letter from me loversbyshan.com/newsletter

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