Why We Rush To Solutions & What We Should Do Instead
We often rush to offer solutions when a loved one expresses emotional distress, not because we don't care, but because it's uncomfortable to witness pain—both theirs and our own. While advice and plans may seem helpful, skipping over empathy and validation can make others feel dismissed or misunderstood. In this episode, the hosts unpack why we default to fixing and offer tools to slow down, connect emotionally first, and ask what support is actually needed.
In this episode, we cover topics such as:
- Fixing as a Coping Strategy
- Forms of Fixing
- Impact of Fixing
- What to Do Instead
- And more!
Give Me Discounts!
Skylight - Visit skylightcal.com/IDO for $30 off your 15 inch calendar.
Prolon - Visit ProlonLife.com/IDO to claim your 15% discount and your bonus gift.
PXG - Visit PXGApparel.com/IDO or use promo code: PODAPP-IDO to save 10% off your Spring/Summer 2025 Collection order.
Amazfit - Visit www.amazfit.com/IDO to get 10% off
Spark My Relationship Course: Get $100 off our online course. Visit SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners!
If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a review in iTunes? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren
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49:52
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49:52
Knowing How To Name Emotions Will Deepen Your Connection To Yourself And Others
Being able to name and understand your emotions deepens your connection to yourself and improves your ability to connect with others. Language gives shape to emotional experiences, much like how having more words for color can help us better distinguish shades. By learning the core emotions—anger, fear, guilt, and pain—and understanding their physical and relational functions, we gain tools to navigate conflict and communicate more vulnerably and effectively.
In this episode we talk about:
Language Shapes Emotional Awareness
The Four Core Emotions
People Vary in Emotional Intensity
Connection Requires Vulnerability
Self-Reflection Tools
And more!
Give Me Discounts!
Skylight - Visit skylightcal.com/IDO for $30 off your 15 inch calendar.
Prolon - Visit ProlonLife.com/IDO to claim your 15% discount and your bonus gift.
PXG - Visit PXGApparel.com/IDO or use promo code: PODAPP-IDO to save 10% off your Spring/Summer 2025 Collection order.
Amazfit - Visit www.amazfit.com/IDO to get 10% off
Spark My Relationship Course: Get $100 off our online course. Visit SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners!
If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a review in iTunes? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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54:25
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54:25
Making Non-Evil, Generous Assumptions About Our Partner’s Responses
In this episode, examine how our assumptions about our partner's behavior shape the emotional climate of our relationship. Often, we default to interpretations that paint our partner as careless or intentionally hurtful, which leads to defensiveness and distance. By learning to make generous, non-evil assumptions—like believing our partner is overwhelmed rather than selfish—we create more space for empathy, curiosity, and connection.
We cover topics such as:
We often assume the worst based on our own insecurities.
Generous assumptions reduce conflict.
Shift from “they’re against me” to “they’re struggling.”
Mutual generosity creates safety.
And more!
Give Me Discounts!
Skylight - Visit skylightcal.com/IDO for $30 off your 15 inch calendar.
Prolon - Visit ProlonLife.com/IDO to claim your 15% discount and your bonus gift.
PXG - Visit PXGApparel.com/IDO or use promo code: PODAPP-IDO to save 10% off your Spring/Summer 2025 Collection order.
Amazfit - Visit www.amazfit.com/IDO to get 10% off
Spark My Relationship Course: Get $100 off our online course. Visit SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners!
If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a review in iTunes? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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53:37
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53:37
When Are Needs Implied In A Relationship Vs When Should They Be Made Explicit
Dive into how often people use indirect or protective strategies—like assuming or demanding—when trying to get their relational needs met, and why making needs explicit through vulnerability is both challenging and essential. Colter, Cayla, and Lauren emphasize that even though vulnerable communication is uncomfortable and risky, it’s the most effective way to build connection and avoid misunderstandings or resentment. They offer practical guidance on organizing your thoughts, understanding your own context, and inviting your partner into a collaborative conversation rather than a demand-response dynamic.
We cover topics such as:
Protected vs Vulnerable Requests
“You Should Just Know” Myth
Context Over Commands
Collaborative Communication
And More!
Give Me Discounts!
Skylight - Visit skylightcal.com/IDO for $30 off your 15 inch calendar.
Prolon - Visit ProlonLife.com/IDO to claim your 15% discount and your bonus gift.
PXG - Visit PXGApparel.com/IDO or use promo code: PODAPP-IDO to save 10% off your Spring/Summer 2025 Collection order.
Amazfit - Visit www.amazfit.com/IDO to get 10% off
Spark My Relationship Course: Get $100 off our online course. Visit SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners!
If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a review in iTunes? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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58:32
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58:32
For When You Feel Disillusioned In Your Relationship
This episode dives into the feeling of disillusionment in long-term relationships—when the connection, ease, or intimacy from the early days starts to fade and partners question what changed. The hosts unpack how this shift is often tied to attachment dynamics, life stressors, and the transition from novelty to responsibility in relationships. Instead of jumping to blame, the episode encourages listeners to get curious, explore the root causes of change, and decide whether to grow through it or lovingly let go.
We cover topics such as:
Feeling let down in a relationship is normal
Life stress makes connection harder
Attraction isn’t just about looks
Early relationships feel easier because there's less pressure
And More!
Give Me Discounts!
Skylight - Visit skylightcal.com/IDO for $30 off your 15 inch calendar.
Prolon - Visit ProlonLife.com/IDO to claim your 15% discount and your bonus gift.
PXG - Visit PXGApparel.com/IDO or use promo code: PODAPP-IDO to save 10% off your Spring/Summer 2025 Collection order.
Amazfit - Visit www.amazfit.com/IDO to get 10% off
Spark My Relationship Course: Get $100 off our online course. Visit SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners!
If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a review in iTunes? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Relationship Advice helps listeners uncover the stuck spots in their relationships by taking expert advice from three licensed professional counselors and boiling it down into digestible tips and tools. Colter, Cayla, and Lauren help people to see that the first step to connecting with somebody else is by connecting with you. They focus their show on understanding and navigating the cycles that couples face, how to practice individuation, and staying in an emotionally regulated state. Just them each week as they come with a jam packed agenda to help you thrive in your relationships.
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