Author and theologian David Augsburger once said, “Being heard is so close to being loved that for the average person, they are almost indistinguishable.”
What it means to listen and love well can be best understood around the unfathomable mystery of the incarnation – that God took on human flesh. God knew that there was no better way to convey his love to human beings than to fully enter their world, and the life of Jesus teaches us three dynamics that characterize what it looks to incarnate in order to love people well.
In today’s episode, my clinical supervisor Carley and I walk through each of these 3 active listening skills that can help us grow in this everyday practice of loving others well through how we listen.
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Why Emotional Honesty Is Essential for Spiritual Maturity
Scripture teaches that feelings are a key part of what it means to be a human being made in God’s image.
When we’re not in touch with what is going on inside us, our thoughts and feelings can feel like inner chaos. A lack of engagement with our interior worlds can cause us to miss many gifts from God. When this happens, we’re not living in reality, but in illusion or denial. And when we are not living in reality, we are not in spirituality, because the authentic spiritual life is not an escape from reality but an absolute commitment to it.
In this episode, my clinical supervisor Carley and I unpack our fourth relational skill – a simple but powerful skill for slowing down, processing our emotions, and meeting God in them. We talk about what it looks like to come alive to our feelings, and then integrate those feelings into our discernment of God’s will.
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Grab a copy of my book Stop Saying I'm Fine
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Find me on Instagram @__taylorjoy__
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Engaging Your Family of Origin Story
We all come into the family of Jesus carrying wounds from a broken world and imperfect families.
God’s intention is to heal us, but we must first become aware of what needs to be changed in us. In this episode, my clinical supervisor Carley Marcouillier and I talk about how discipleship involves reflecting on both the positive and negative influences of our family of origin.
This is hard work. But the extent to which we can go back and understand how our history has shaped us will determine, to a large degree, our ability to break destructive patterns and grow in love towards God and people. We also introduce our third relational skill for emotionally healthy relationships—the genogram—a practical tool for increasing self-awareness and understanding how your family story may still be shaping your present relationships.
LINKS FROM THE EPISODE:
Emotionally Healthy Spirituality by Pete Scazzero
Emotionally Healthy Relationships by Pete Scazzero
The Place We Find Ourselves by Adam Young
Get Faith & Feeling's weekly resource email
Watch this episode on YouTube
Grab a copy of my book Stop Saying I'm Fine
Connect with me on my website
Find me on Instagram @__taylorjoy__
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How to Stop Mind Reading & Clarify Expectations
The stories we tell ourselves have an enormous impact on our feelings, and so often – especially in our relationships – we can tell ourselves stories that aren’t true.
Assumptions about what other people are thinking and feeling can quickly become hidden landmines in our relationships. In today’s episode, my clinical supervisor Carley Marcouillier and I unpack our second relational skill for emotionally healthy relationships. This skill has two parts to it: first, how to stop mind reading. And second, how to clarify expectations. I think you’re going to find this conversation both thought-provoking and really practical. Listen in.
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Watch this episode on YouTube
Grab a copy of my book Stop Saying I'm Fine
Connect with me on my website
Find me on Instagram @__taylorjoy__
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A Simple Communication Skill for Deeper Relationships
If you’ve ever found yourself longing for deeper connection in your relationship but unsure how to get there, this episode is for you.
Today, my clinical supervisor, licensed therapist Carley Marcouillier, and I kick off our Emotionally Healthy Relationships summer series by introducing a simple, practical communication skill built around five prompts: appreciations, worries & concerns, complaints & possible solutions, new information, and hopes & wishes.
These prompts create space for safety, honesty, and emotional closeness within relationships. Whether this is your first time hearing about this skill or you’re looking for a fresh way to grow, we hope this conversation encourages you to take small, meaningful steps toward deeper connection.
Get Faith & Feeling's weekly resource email
Watch this episode on YouTube
Grab a copy of my book Stop Saying I'm Fine
Connect with me on my website
Find me on Instagram @__taylorjoy__
Faith & Feelings is a podcast designed to help you untangle & honor your emotions, authentically practice your faith, and integrate both into your everyday life so that you can experience the goodness & delight that comes from living in relationship with yourself, God, and others.
Join author and clinical counseling grad student Taylor Joy every Monday, where she’ll share therapeutic insight and spiritual truth aimed at helping you implement small shifts into your daily rhythms and routines.
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