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In this Sex with Emily episode, Dr. Emily and producer Erica answer listener questions covering intimate challenges from anal play to mismatched libidos.
The episode addresses a woman whose boyfriend wants to try receiving anal rimming but can't relax into it, examining masculinity myths around pleasure. They cover penis cage safety during chastity play and what to watch for during extended use. Listeners also hear from a woman whose partner never initiates sex despite therapy, someone experiencing numbness during oral sex, and a recently divorced woman struggling to reclaim her sex drive.
Throughout, Emily emphasizes communication outside the bedroom, understanding our bodies' responses, and reclaiming sexuality as something we own for ourselves—not something tied exclusively to our partners.
Timestamps:
0:00 - Introduction
1:15 - Helping Your Partner Feel Comfortable with Anal Play
6:38 - Penis Cage Safety & Chastity Play Guidelines
13:49 - When Your Partner Never Initiates Sex
18:45 - Numbness & Tingling During Oral Sex Explained
23:07 - Reclaiming Your Sex Drive After Divorce
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30:23
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30:23
How Porn Can Actually Improve Your Sex Life
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In this Sex with Emily episode, Dr. Emily teams up with anthropologist Dr. Wednesday Martin to tackle pornography—one of modern sexuality's most polarizing topics. From addressing listener concerns about partners who need porn to climax, to exploring how porn shapes our sexual behaviors and expectations.
The episode examines real listener scenarios including a woman feeling inadequate because her boyfriend requires porn and dirty talk about other women to orgasm, and another struggling with her partner's search history filled with degrading terms. Emily and Wednesday also dive into the research on porn's actual impact on sexual aggression, the rise of choking and other behaviors in mainstream sexual culture, and the difference between ethical porn and typical productions.
Throughout the discussion, they emphasize that porn itself isn't the problem—it's often a communication issue. The episode explores how couples can use porn as a tool for sexual exploration and self-knowledge rather than a source of shame or conflict, while acknowledging the legitimate concerns about how mainstream porn represents sexuality and consent.
Timestamps:
0:00 - Introduction
4:27 - Historical Context: Porn Has Always Existed
8:23 - First Porn Experiences
17:20 - Research Findings: Porn's Actual Impact on Behavior
27:47 - Case Study: When Porn Becomes a Relationship Issue
37:32 - Ethical Porn vs. Mainstream
41:56 - Using Porn as a Learning Tool for Self-Discovery
50:42 - Communication Strategies: Talking About Porn Preferences
57:17 - Final Thoughts
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1:02:15
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1:02:15
When Your Friend Ruins Your Relationship By Sharing Your Past
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7 Signs of Sexual Compatibility: https://sexwithemily.com/7-signs-of-sexual-compatibility-2/
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Episode Description:
In this Sex with Emily episode, Dr. Emily and producer Eric tackle listener-submitted "Am I The Asshole" scenarios focused on sex, dating, and relationships. From a wife refusing threesomes her husband demands to fix their struggling marriage, to a boyfriend dismissing his girlfriend's painful sex as exaggerated.
The episode examines a daughter's shock at discovering her mother's 24/7 BDSM collar and addresses sexual compatibility deal-breakers, including a five-month relationship ending over asexuality versus mismatched libidos. They also tackle friendship boundaries when a well-meaning friend reveals intimate details about someone's sexual past to their new partner.
Throughout these scenarios, Emily emphasizes that most relationship conflicts stem from lack of sexual education and communication skills rather than malicious intent. The episode reinforces the importance of honest self-reflection, clear boundaries, and recognizing when patterns aren't serving your relationships.
Timestamps:
0:00 - Introduction
1:21 - Threesome Pressure in Struggling Marriage
4:45 - Why Threesomes Don't Fix Relationships
8:03 - Dismissing Partner's Sexual Pain During Sex
11:04 - Understanding Vaginismus and Vaginal Pain
14:09 - Anal Sex Pressure Despite Clear Boundaries
17:15 - The Importance of Consensual Partners for Anal
18:46 - Discovering Mom's BDSM Collar Bombshell
22:00 - How to Have Healthy Sex Conversations with Kids
24:46 - Breaking Up Over Sexual Incompatibility
28:18 - Sexual Compatibility by 5 Months Rule
30:33 - Oversharing Friend's Threesome History
33:14 - Never Share Others' Sexual Stories
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37:26
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37:26
How Childhood Trauma Shows Up in Your Sex Life
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In this Sex with Emily episode, Dr. Emily sits down with Violet Benson. Violet opens up about her intentional decision to step back from penetrative sex while working through attachment patterns that clouded her judgment in relationships.
How do you know when sex is creating unhealthy emotional attachment versus genuine connection? Violet shares her realization that sleeping with someone too quickly led her to ignore red flags and chase unavailable partners who mirrored her childhood feelings of being "not enough."
The conversation dives into Violet's egg freezing experience, including the intense hormonal and emotional effects that doctors failed to prepare her for. Violet takes Emily's Sex IQ quiz from the book Smart Sex, reflecting on how much her relationship with her body and pleasure has evolved.
They tackle a listener question about pursuing someone with major red flags just for physical chemistry, with both hosts emphasizing the importance of honest self-reflection over justification.
The episode explores embracing "clinginess" in dating, why vulnerability beats playing games, and how foreplay truly starts outside the bedroom. Throughout, Emily and Violet reinforce that understanding your patterns is the first step to breaking cycles that don't serve you.
Timestamps:
0:00 - Intro
2:13 - Violet's dating hiatus
5:42 - Turning fears into boundaries
8:37 - Understanding attachment styles and childhood trauma in relationships
11:43 - Egg freezing experience
16:17 - Managing mental health during hormonal changes
21:00 - Sex IQ Quiz
26:31 - Listener question: Detaching emotions from physical intimacy
30:30 - Why being vulnerable beats playing games
35:41 - Why people are having less sex and connection
38:15 - Top 3 tips for authentic dating and better relationships
40:42 - Rapid-fire questions: Turn-ons, turn-offs, and relationship advice
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44:52
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44:52
Why Your Partner's Sexual Past Is Haunting Your Present
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Access exclusive sex coaching, live expert sessions, community building, and tools to enhance your pleasure and relationships with Dr. Emily Morse.
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Episode Description
In this Sex with Emily hotline episode, Dr. Emily answers honest questions about sex, relationships, and pleasure. Ben struggles with intrusive thoughts about his girlfriend's sexual past—how do generational differences in sexual norms play a role, and what can he do when his mind won't stop wandering?
A caller whose day-long fantasies about his wife cause premature ejaculation wonders if this is actually a problem. Emily explores when mental foreplay becomes too much of a good thing and how to approach these conversations with your partner.
For finding thirds for threesomes, what's the safest way to meet like-minded people? Emily discusses the essential conversations couples need to have before inviting someone into their bedroom.
Nathan worries his girlfriend only orgasms with toys despite her past relationships not requiring them. Is this about his performance, her anatomy, or something deeper about emotional connection and letting go?
Finally, how do you rebuild your relationship with your own sexuality after a major life change? Emily helps a caller navigate solo pleasure during divorce when motivation is low and old fantasies no longer serve.
Throughout, Emily reinforces that sexual satisfaction looks different for everyone.
Timestamps:
0:00 - Introduction
1:29 - Dealing with Partner's Sexual Past
5:42 - How to Replace Negative Thoughts with Positive Relationship Focus
11:45 - Premature Ejaculation from All-Day Mental Arousal
17:07 - Starting Sexting in Long-Term Relationships
20:04 - Finding a Third for Threesomes
29:52 - The Field Effect
34:13 - When Emotional Connection Changes Physical Response
40:13 - Prioritizing Solo Pleasure During Divorce and Life Transitions
46:44 - Closing Thoughts and Resources
Dr. Emily Morse shares her expertise on sex, relationships and everything in between! Submit your questions to Emily at sexwithemily.com/ask-emily. For more sexy fun, visit sexwithemily.com and our online store shop.sexwithemily.com. Join SmartSX, her exclusive membership community, for expert-led workshops, intimate discussions, and everything you need to elevate your pleasure! Order her book today: SMART SEX: How to Boost Your Sex IQ and Own Your Pleasure.
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